零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: この回答は自然ですが、文法の誤りと冗長な表現があります。例えば、「someone gave me」は「someone gives me」に直すべきです。また、回答を5文以内にまとめ、より明確に答えることが望ましいです。

範例: I rarely eat snacks these days because I think they are unhealthy. Usually, I only eat them when someone offers me some.

建議: 回答に繰り返しや文法の誤りがあります（"which which", "it's also"）。また、文が途中で終わっているため、内容が不完全です。より明確で完結な文を作り、理由を具体的に述べると良いでしょう。

範例: I don't think eating snacks is healthy because they usually contain a lot of sugar and are highly processed, which can harm our bodies.

建議: 回答は内容が具体的で良いですが、時制の一貫性に注意しましょう（"there is"は過去形の"there was"に）。また、"black Donuts"の意味が不明瞭なので、説明を加えると良いです。

範例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was a child. Since I was a latchkey kid, I used to buy two or three chocolate donuts from a shop near my house as a treat after school.

建議: 文法の誤り（"it having them"）や繰り返し（"when I when I'm"）があります。文を簡潔にし、感情や理由を明確に述べると良いでしょう。

範例: I like eating Mont Blanc because it is very sweet. Eating it makes me happy and helps improve my mood when I feel tired or distracted.

× So usually I only eat snacks when someone gave me.

✓ So usually I only eat snacks when someone gives me some.

The sentence refers to a habitual action in the present, so the verb after 'when' should be in the present tense with third person singular agreement. 'Gave' is past tense and incorrect here. Use 'gives' to match the present habitual context.

× So usually I only eat snacks when someone gave me.

✓ So usually I only eat snacks when someone gives me some.

The sentence is missing the object after 'gave me'. 'Me' is an indirect object pronoun and needs a direct object (e.g., 'some') to complete the meaning. Adding 'some' clarifies what is given.

× Well I don't think so because snacks tend to contain too much sugar which which is harmful to our bodies and it also it's also over processed so.

✓ Well I don't think so because snacks tend to contain too much sugar which is harmful to our bodies and they are also overprocessed.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'snacks' which is plural, so the plural pronoun 'they' should be used. Also, 'over processed' should be one word 'overprocessed' as an adjective.

× I was a latchkey kid and there is a donut shop near my house so I often buy two or three black Donuts as treat after I returned from school.

✓ I was a latchkey kid and there was a donut shop near my house so I often bought two or three black donuts as a treat after I returned from school.

The sentence refers to past events, so verbs should be in the past tense: 'is' to 'was', 'buy' to 'bought'. Also, 'Donuts' should not be capitalized and 'as treat' needs the article 'a' to be correct.

× Well, I like to eat Mont Blanc because it's very sweet and it having them makes me happy and it can also boost my moods when I when I'm distracted or I feel exhausted.

✓ Well, I like to eat Mont Blanc because it's very sweet and having it makes me happy and it can also boost my mood when I'm distracted or feel exhausted.

'It having them' is incorrect; 'having it' is correct because 'Mont Blanc' is singular. Also, 'moods' should be singular 'mood' to match the context. The phrase 'when I when I'm' has a repeated word; the first 'when I' should be removed.