零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some repetition. Try to start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific details using linking words to make your response more coherent. Also, avoid redundancy and grammatical errors.

範例: I usually eat snacks several times a day, almost every day. However, I realize this habit is unhealthy, so I am trying to change my lifestyle to be healthier. For example, I am choosing fruits instead of junk food because it will benefit my future health and my family.

建議: Your answer is unclear and contains many hesitations. Try to give a direct answer first, then explain your opinion with specific reasons and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: No, I don't think eating snacks is healthy. Instead, I believe I should replace snacks with nutritious foods because they help me stay healthy and feel happier in my daily life.

建議: Your answer is somewhat confusing and contains unnecessary information. Focus on directly answering the question with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words to improve coherence.

範例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was younger. For instance, during my childhood, I used to eat many snacks every day, but now I have changed my routine to eat healthier foods.

建議: Your answer repeats ideas and is a bit unclear. Try to give a clear topic sentence naming your favorite snacks, then add specific details or reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and clarify your intentions.

範例: I like to eat chips and shawarma, which are popular foods in Georgia. However, I want to change my eating habits to healthier options to manage my weight better.

× Am doing this almost every day, many times in a day and I realize that it's that it's not good.

✓ I am doing this almost every day, many times a day, and I realize that it is not good.

The sentence is missing the subject 'I' before 'am doing', which is necessary in English present continuous tense. Also, 'many times in a day' is better expressed as 'many times a day'. The phrase 'it's that it's not good' is redundant; 'it is not good' suffices.

× Now I'm working to change my mind, change my lifestyle to be more healthy and it will be more good for my future wife.

✓ Now I'm working to change my mind and my lifestyle to be healthier, and it will be better for my future wife.

The phrase 'to be more healthy' should be 'to be healthier' as 'healthier' is the comparative form of the adjective 'healthy'. Also, 'more good' is incorrect; the correct comparative is 'better'. The sentence also benefits from adding 'and' to connect the two actions clearly.

× No, I don't uh, I think that's, I think, uh, snacks, it's entails and I need to switch it with some nutrients to be more healthy, to be more wealthy and happy because it means happiness for men.

✓ No, I don't. I think snacks are unhealthy, and I need to replace them with nutritious foods to be healthier, wealthier, and happier because that means happiness for men.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and has unclear phrasing. 'Snacks, it's entails' is incorrect; 'snacks are unhealthy' is clearer. 'Switch it with some nutrients' should be 'replace them with nutritious foods'. Also, 'to be more healthy' should be 'to be healthier', and 'to be more wealthy' should be 'wealthier'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× To be honest, I'm still young because I'm 19 years old and now, yes, uh, her would, uh, remind my childhood.

✓ To be honest, I'm still young because I'm 19 years old, and now, yes, I would remember my childhood.

The phrase 'her would remind my childhood' is incorrect. The subject pronoun 'I' should be used instead of 'her', and 'would remember' fits the context better. Also, 'remind my childhood' is incorrect; 'remember my childhood' is the correct expression.

× Yeah, I was eating many, many snacks in a day and I already changed my routines.

✓ Yeah, I used to eat many snacks a day, and I have already changed my routines.

'I was eating' suggests a continuous past action but 'used to eat' better expresses habitual past actions. 'Many, many snacks in a day' is better as 'many snacks a day'. 'I already changed' should be 'I have already changed' to indicate a recent change relevant to the present.

× To be honest, I love chips so much. I love chips. I love shawarma.

✓ To be honest, I love chips very much. I love shawarma.

Repeating 'I love chips' twice is redundant. 'So much' is informal; 'very much' is more appropriate in this context. The sentence is simplified for clarity and conciseness.

× It's not snake, but it's food in Georgia, most common foods.

✓ It's not a snake, but it's a common food in Georgia.

'Snake' is a noun and needs the article 'a' before it. The phrase 'most common foods' is plural and does not fit with 'it'; changing to 'a common food' matches the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'snake' was likely a mispronunciation of 'snack' but corrected here as per context.

× And I wanna change something within healthy for my weight. I need to.

✓ And I want to change something to be healthier for my weight. I need to.

'Wanna' is informal; 'want to' is more appropriate. 'Change something within healthy' is incorrect; it should be 'change something to be healthier'. The sentence 'I need to.' is incomplete but acceptable as a short form implying 'I need to do that'.