零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct verb tense and agreement (e.g., "they have create" → "they create"; "So I loved" → "So I love").

範例: I usually snack when I have free time, especially while socializing with family or friends at the park or at home. For example, I often share a bowl of fruit or a small packet of chips during conversations because snacks create a relaxed, sociable atmosphere.

建議: Improve accuracy and clarity. Use correct vocabulary and avoid fragments. Provide a clear topic sentence, then specific examples and a linking word to show contrast (e.g., "however"). Correct errors like "dries cakes" → "dried cakes" and remove repeated words. Make your final statement concise.

範例: It depends on the snack: some are healthy, while others are not. For example, dried fruit or whole-grain crackers can be nutritious; however, fried potato chips and many candies are high in salt, fat, or sugar. Therefore, I usually choose healthier options like fruit or nuts.

建議: Fix grammar, punctuation and sentence structure. Give a clear topic sentence about past habit, then add one or two specific details with linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Correct phrases like "instead of instead" and "homemade trees" → likely "homemade treats". Keep sentences concise.

範例: I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my family couldn't afford them and my mother discouraged snacking as unhealthy. Instead, I usually had fruit or homemade treats on special occasions, which helped me develop healthier eating habits.

建議: Be specific and correct word choice. Start with a topic sentence naming preferred snacks, then give specific examples and link with a reason. Fix awkward phrases like "dry striped fruit" and "homemade cheese plate or a special occasion." Use singular/plural consistently (e.g., "on special occasions").

範例: I prefer healthy snacks, especially fresh or dried fruit and homemade cheese plates. On special occasions my mother makes coconut sweets or dried mango slices, which I love because they taste great and are healthier than store-bought crisps.

× I like having small treats because they have create a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere, for example, sharing chips or fruits while chatting.

✓ I like having small treats because they have created a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere, for example, sharing chips or fruit while chatting.

The verb phrase 'have create' uses the base verb instead of the past participle. With 'have' as an auxiliary forming the present perfect, the correct past participle 'created' is required. Also 'fruits' is idiomatically 'fruit' when referring to types or servings in general. Suggestion: use 'have created' for present perfect and use 'fruit' for uncountable/general reference.

× So I loved eating snacks.

✓ So I love eating snacks.

The context is general/habitual preference; present simple 'love' is appropriate. Using past tense 'loved' incorrectly shifts the time frame. Suggestion: use present simple for current habits and preferences.

× Some snacks such as dried fruit or dries cakes made from whole grains can be nutritious.

✓ Some snacks, such as dried fruit or dried cakes made from whole grains, can be nutritious.

'Dries' is a misspelling; the adjective should be 'dried'. Also commas help set off the example phrase. Suggestion: use 'dried' for items preserved by drying and add commas for clarity.

× But many popular snacks suggest fried potato chips or so.

✓ But many popular snacks, such as fried potato chips, are less healthy.

The original uses 'suggest' incorrectly; 'such as' or 'include' should introduce examples, and the sentence lacks a clear predicate about health. I corrected it to express the intended meaning that many popular snacks are less healthy. Suggestion: use 'such as' for examples and pair with an appropriate verb like 'are' or 'include'.

× Great candies are high in salt, fat or sugar sugar.

✓ Many candies are high in salt, fat, or sugar.

'Great' is the wrong adjective here; likely intended 'many' or 'certain'. There's also a repeated word 'sugar'. I replaced with 'Many candies are high in salt, fat, or sugar' which clearly states the problem. Suggestion: choose adjectives that match meaning and remove duplicate words.

× So I try to do healthier option most of the time.

✓ So I try to choose healthier options most of the time.

'Try to do healthier option' is ungrammatical: 'do' does not collocate with 'option' and the article is missing. Use 'try to choose' and plural 'options' to match general practice. Suggestion: use verbs that collocate with 'option' (choose/pick) and include appropriate articles/plural forms.

× When I was young, I didn't eat many snacks because we couldn't afford them and my mother discouraged snacking saying they were unhealthy instead of instead I usually had fruit or homemade trees on special occasion which were much healthier and help me develop a better eating habit.

✓ When I was young, I didn't eat many snacks because we couldn't afford them and my mother discouraged snacking, saying they were unhealthy. Instead, I usually had fruit or homemade treats on special occasions, which were much healthier and helped me develop better eating habits.

Multiple issues: run-on sentence and wrong words. 'Instead of instead' is redundant; 'trees' is a typo for 'treats'; 'special occasion' needs plural 'occasions' for habitual action; 'help' should be past tense 'helped' to match 'When I was young'. I split into clearer sentences, added commas, corrected word choice, and used consistent past tense. Suggestion: break long sentences into shorter ones, check for typos, and keep tense consistent.

× I prefer healthy snacks, especially fresh or dried fruit or homemade cheese plate or a special occasion.

✓ I prefer healthy snacks, especially fresh or dried fruit or a homemade cheese plate for special occasions.

The phrase 'or a special occasion' is incorrect; 'for special occasions' fits. 'Homemade cheese plate' needs an article 'a' and should be linked to occasions. Suggestion: ensure phrases correctly modify nouns and use prepositions like 'for' to show purpose.

× On special occasion, my mother usually prepares snacks like coconut sweets or a dry striped fruit and I love them because they're tasty and much healthier than store bought crisps.

✓ On special occasions, my mother usually prepares snacks like coconut sweets or dried, sliced fruit, and I love them because they're tasty and much healthier than store-bought crisps.

Use plural 'occasions' for habitual events. 'Dry striped fruit' seems to be incorrect word order and choice; 'dried, sliced fruit' or 'dried, striped fruit' are clearer—here 'dried, sliced fruit' fits. 'Store bought' should be hyphenated as 'store-bought'. Added commas for clarity. Suggestion: use plural for habitual references, correct adjective order (dried, sliced), and hyphenate compound modifiers before nouns.