机器— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 어색하고 문법 오류(예: 'because it I love')와 중복 표현이 있습니다. 주제 문장을 분명하게 하고, 이유와 구체적 세부사항을 간결하게 연결하는 연습이 필요합니다. 또한 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 유지하고 연결어(because, so, which 등)를 정확하게 사용하세요. 발음이나 유창성 향상을 위해 자연스러운 어휘(예: "sound system", "high-quality speakers", "unwind")를 익히세요.

範例: My favourite machine at home is my stereo system because I love listening to music every day. It has high-quality speakers and helps me unwind after a long day at work.

建議: 의미 전달은 되지만 문법과 어순이 많이 어색합니다('important our lives', 'it has develop reduce'). 명확한 주제 문장 후 이유를 두세 개의 구체적 예로 뒷받침하세요. 연결어는 적절히 사용하고 불필요한 반복을 피하세요. 자연스러운 표현(예: 'save time', 'household chores', 'make life easier')을 사용하도록 연습하세요.

範例: Yes, I think they are very important because they save time and make household chores easier. For example, a washing machine cleans clothes quickly, and a vacuum cleaner keeps the house tidy with little effort.

建議: 내용이 이해되지만 문장이 많이 불명확하고 문법·어휘 선택이 잘못되어 있습니다('before using a muscle', 'leave some instructions', 'it's it absolutely used'). 간단한 주제 문장으로 시작하고 이유를 명확히 설명하세요. 예: 'Yes, I always read the instructions because...' 형태로 말하고 구체적 이유(안전, 제품 수명 등)를 덧붙이세요. 또한 불필요한 망설임어(umm)를 줄이세요.

範例: Yes, I always read the instructions before using a new machine because it helps me use it safely and correctly. By following the manual, I can avoid damaging the appliance and extend its lifespan.

建議: 반복과 문법 오류('when we when we used', 'leave some instruction', 'it reduce')가 있어 메시지가 흐려집니다. 간단하고 명확한 주제 문장으로 시작한 뒤 이유를 1~2개만 제시하세요. 구체적 단어('prevent damage', 'ensure safety')를 사용해 표현을 명확히 하세요.

範例: Yes, I think it is important to read the instructions because it prevents damage and ensures safe operation. For instance, following the guidelines can help you avoid common mistakes that might break the machine.

× My favorite machine at home is my stereo system because it I love listening to music every day and it has high quality speakers and makes me relax after work.

✓ My favorite machine at home is my stereo system because I love listening to music every day; it has high-quality speakers and helps me relax after work.

The sentence has multiple structure problems: a redundant 'it' before 'I love' and unclear clause connections. 'High quality' should be hyphenated as 'high-quality' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. 'Makes me relax' is unnatural; use 'helps me relax'. Combine ideas with a semicolon or split into two sentences. Suggestion: remove the extra 'it', hyphenate 'high-quality', and replace 'makes me relax' with 'helps me relax' to improve clarity and correctness.

× Yes, I think washing machines and sweeping machines are very important our lives because it has develop reduce our household time, so it makes me relax at home after work.

✓ Yes, I think washing machines and vacuum cleaners are very important in our lives because they have reduced household time, so I can relax at home after work.

Pronoun and noun issues: 'sweeping machines' is better as 'vacuum cleaners'. Missing preposition 'in our lives'. Use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to 'washing machines and vacuum cleaners' (subject-verb agreement). 'has develop reduce' is incorrect tense and form; use present perfect 'have reduced' to indicate an effect up to now. 'it makes me relax' should be 'I can relax' or 'they help me relax'. Suggestion: use 'they have reduced' and 'I can relax'.

× Yes, I before using a muscle firstly umm, I always leave some instructions because it is help me how to use the new machines and it's it absolutely used. I make them broken the machines so.

✓ Yes. Before using a machine, I always read the instructions because they help me learn how to use new machines. If I do not follow the instructions, I may break them.

Many lexical and structural errors: 'muscle' is wrong word; use 'machine'. 'Leave some instructions' should be 'read the instructions'. 'It is help me how to use' should be 'they help me learn how to use'. 'It's it absolutely used' is meaningless and removed. The final idea 'I make them broken the machines so' intends to say not following instructions can break machines; rephrase clearly as a conditional. Suggestion: use clear verbs ('read', 'help', 'learn'), correct noun choice, and express cause-effect with a conditional.

× Yes, I think when we when we used the new machines leave some instruction is very important because it reduce. We make it make broken some machines.

✓ Yes, I think when we use new machines, reading the instructions is very important because it reduces the chance of breaking them.

Redundancy: 'when we when we' remove repetition. Tense: use present 'use' instead of past 'used' to express general truth. 'Leave some instruction' is incorrect; use 'reading the instructions' or 'following the instructions'. 'It reduce' needs subject agreement and tense: 'it reduces the chance' or 'they reduce the risk'. Final clause 'We make it make broken some machines' is ungrammatical; clearly state that not following instructions can break machines. Suggestion: use present simple for general statements, proper gerund 'reading', and express the consequence with 'reduce the chance of breaking them'.