记忆— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence stating current ability, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid vague phrases like "cognitive ability" unless you clarify. Use linking words to contrast past and present (e.g., "however"), and keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: I used to be good at memorising things when I was younger; however, now I find it harder to remember details quickly. For example, I can no longer recall names or short lists as easily as before.

建議: Give a concise, well-structured anecdote: start with a direct answer, then give one specific example with a brief outcome. Use correct tenses and smoother linking words like "for instance" or "so". Avoid repetition ("my friend at my friend's place").

範例: Yes. For instance, I once left my keys at home and couldn't get into my flat, so I had to go to a friend who had a spare key to let me in.

建議: Answer directly and organise details: begin with a topic sentence listing the most important items, then give one or two specific examples. Use linking phrases such as "for example" and avoid awkward structures. Be specific about why these items matter.

範例: Mostly I need to remember official documents and login details. For example, I always need my passport for travel and several passwords for my work email and banking apps, so I often use a secure password manager.

建議: Make a clear topic sentence and streamline supporting details: say you write things down, then briefly explain how and give an example. Use smoother phrasing and avoid repetition ("the writing process" twice).

範例: If something is important, I write it down. Writing helps me remember because it reinforces the information and provides a written record—for example, I keep a to‑do list and notes for appointments in my notebook.

× I was pretty good at memorizing things when I was younger. I can remember things quickly within a short period of time. But As for now, I think my cognitive ability has deteriorated over time.

✓ I was pretty good at memorizing things when I was younger. I could remember things quickly in a short period of time, but as for now, I think my cognitive ability has deteriorated over time.

Mixed tense and modal choice: 'I can remember things quickly within a short period of time' conflicts with 'when I was younger' context; use past ability 'could' to match past reference. Also 'within a short period of time' is wordy; 'in a short period of time' is more natural. Capitalization: 'As' should be lowercase after a comma. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent when referring to past ability and ensure proper capitalization and concise phrasing.

× Yes, there are multiple times I forgot my keys in my house so I don't have the key to go home and fortunately I have left a spare key in my friend at my friend's place so I can get there to get the spare key.

✓ Yes, there were multiple times I forgot my keys in my house, so I didn't have the key to get into my home. Fortunately, I had left a spare key with my friend at my friend's place, so I could go there to get it.

Tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing: 'are multiple times' should be past 'were multiple times' when describing past events. Use past tense 'didn't have' to match 'forgot'. 'I have left' should be past perfect 'I had left' to show the spare key was left before the forgetting incidents; alternatively simple past 'I left' is acceptable. 'In my friend' is incorrect preposition use; use 'with my friend' or 'at my friend's place'. Repetition 'get there to get' is awkward; replace with 'go there to get it'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense, correct prepositions, and avoid repetition.

× The first thing that comes to my mind would be passports. So I need to log in to many systems and for example my work e-mail and also my bank account and there's a lot of passwords to remember.

✓ The first thing that comes to my mind is passports. I need to log in to many systems, for example my work email and my bank account, and there are a lot of passwords to remember.

Verb form and agreement: 'that comes to my mind would be' mixes conditional with present; use 'is'. 'Log in to' is correct but 'and for example my work e-mail and also my bank account' needs reordering and parallel structure: 'for example my work email and my bank account'. 'There's a lot of passwords' shows subject-verb agreement and quantifier issue: 'there are a lot of passwords' is correct. Suggestion: keep present simple for general statements, ensure parallel structure and subject-verb agreement, and remove unnecessary words like 'also' when redundant.

× It's something is really important, then I'll write it down.

✓ If something is really important, I'll write it down.

Redundant and incorrect structure: 'It's something is really important' duplicates subject and is ungrammatical. Use a conditional clause 'If something is really important' to express the condition. Suggestion: use proper conditional structure for cause-effect sentences.

× The process, the writing process itself helps to reinforce the memory and the text itself serve as a record and an external aid to help remember those things.

✓ The writing process itself helps to reinforce memory, and the text serves as a record and an external aid to help me remember those things.

Subject-verb agreement and redundancy: 'the text itself serve' should be 'the text serves' to match singular subject. 'Reinforce the memory' is awkward; 'reinforce memory' is more natural. Also include 'me' in 'help me remember' for clarity. Remove redundant 'the process, the writing process' by using single phrase. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement, avoid redundant phrases, and include necessary pronouns for clarity.

× So I believe writing.

✓ So I believe in writing as a method to remember things.

Fragment and vagueness: 'So I believe writing' is a sentence fragment lacking clarity and proper preposition. Use 'believe in writing' or 'I believe writing helps' and expand to show what is believed. Suggestion: include the object or explanation to form a complete sentence and clarify meaning.