巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and grammatical errors. For example, use 'I enjoy eating chocolate because it boosts my mood and makes me feel relaxed and happy.'

範例: I enjoy eating chocolate because it boosts my mood and makes me feel relaxed and happy.

建議: Improve coherence by using linking words and correct grammar. Also, be more specific about your reasons. For example, 'I usually eat chocolate once a day, but I'm trying to reduce it because excessive consumption can cause tooth decay and stomach problems, so it's important to find a balance.'

範例: I usually eat chocolate once a day, but I'm trying to reduce it because too much can cause tooth decay and stomach problems, so it's important to find a balance.

建議: Make your answer clearer and more grammatically correct. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, 'I used to eat a lot of chocolate as a child, but my mother often hid it from me because I had dental problems, so she wanted to reduce my intake.'

範例: I used to eat a lot of chocolate as a child, but my mother often hid it from me because I had dental problems, so she wanted to reduce my intake.

建議: Avoid filler words and improve fluency. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, 'Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste and the instant sugar boost it provides, which can uplift people's mood and help them feel happier and more relaxed.'

範例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste and the instant sugar boost it provides, which can uplift people's mood and help them feel happier and more relaxed.

建議: Make your answer more fluent and avoid repetition. Provide a clear topic sentence and supporting details. For example, 'My favourite flavour is hazelnut chocolate because it tastes delicious and always boosts my mood.'

範例: My favourite flavour is hazelnut chocolate because it tastes delicious and always boosts my mood.

建議: Improve clarity and fluency by avoiding repetition and using linking words. For example, 'I think chocolate makes a great gift because many people enjoy it, there are many varieties available, and some people even make it at home to control the ingredients.'

範例: I think chocolate makes a great gift because many people enjoy it, there are many varieties available, and some people even make it at home to control the ingredients.

× I really enjoy when I'm eating chocolates because it boots my mood and whenever I eat chocolate I feel more relaxed and cheerful and it makes me simply happy and that's why I like eating chocolate.

✓ I really enjoy eating chocolates because it boosts my mood and whenever I eat chocolate I feel more relaxed and cheerful and it makes me simply happy and that's why I like eating chocolate.

The verb 'enjoy' should be followed directly by the gerund form of the verb without 'when I'm'. Also, 'boots' is a typo and should be 'boosts'. The phrase 'when I'm eating' is incorrect here because 'enjoy' requires a gerund object, not a clause.

× I really enjoy when I'm eating chocolates because it boots my mood and whenever I eat chocolate I feel more relaxed and cheerful and it makes me simply happy and that's why I like eating chocolate.

✓ I really enjoy eating chocolate because it boosts my mood and whenever I eat chocolate I feel more relaxed and cheerful and it makes me simply happy and that's why I like eating chocolate.

The word 'chocolates' is plural but in this context, 'chocolate' as an uncountable noun is more appropriate when referring to the food in general.

× I usually eat chocolate once a day but I'm trying to cut it down because I am eating that much chocolate.

✓ I usually eat chocolate once a day but I'm trying to cut it down because I eat that much chocolate.

The phrase 'I am eating that much chocolate' is incorrect in this context; the simple present 'I eat' is appropriate to express habitual action. The present continuous is not suitable here.

× It's not healthy because it can cause teeth decay and some stomach problem and that's why it's better to find the balance.

✓ It's not healthy because it can cause tooth decay and some stomach problems and that's why it's better to find the balance.

'Teeth decay' is incorrect; the correct term is 'tooth decay' (singular). Also, 'stomach problem' should be plural 'stomach problems' to indicate more than one possible issue.

× I used to eat chocolate a lot when I was a kid and I remember that my mother was hiding chocolates from me when she was purchased and because I had lots of teeth problem, dental problem that's why she was trying to reduce my.

✓ I used to eat chocolate a lot when I was a kid and I remember that my mother was hiding chocolates from me when she purchased them because I had lots of dental problems, so she was trying to reduce my intake.

The phrase 'was purchased' is incorrect; it should be 'purchased' as the past simple tense. Also, 'teeth problem' should be 'dental problems' for correct plural and adjective use. The sentence was incomplete and needed restructuring for clarity.

× I used to eat chocolate a lot when I was a kid and I remember that my mother was hiding chocolates from me when she was purchased and because I had lots of teeth problem, dental problem that's why she was trying to reduce my.

✓ I used to eat chocolate a lot when I was a kid and I remember that my mother was hiding chocolates from me when she purchased them because I had lots of dental problems, so she was trying to reduce my intake.

The pronoun 'she was purchased' is incorrect; 'she purchased them' is correct. Also, the sentence was incomplete and needed a proper object after 'reduce my'.

× I think chocolate is very popular around the world because it it's delicious taste and also instant sugar take umm can boost people mood.

✓ I think chocolate is very popular around the world because of its delicious taste and also instant sugar intake can boost people's mood.

The phrase 'it it's delicious taste' is incorrect; it should be 'because of its delicious taste'. Also, 'people mood' should be 'people's mood' to show possession.

× I think chocolate is very popular around the world because it it's delicious taste and also instant sugar take umm can boost people mood.

✓ I think chocolate is very popular around the world because of its delicious taste and also instant sugar intake can boost people's mood.

The preposition 'because it it's' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'because of its'. Also, 'take' should be 'intake' to correctly express consumption.

× I'm very particular about it. I really like the hazelnut 1 and I generally choose that one because it it has delicious taste and it's it's boosting my mood a lot.

✓ I'm very particular about it. I really like the hazelnut one and I generally choose that one because it has a delicious taste and it boosts my mood a lot.

The phrase 'hazelnut 1' should be 'hazelnut one'. Also, 'it it' and 'it's it's' are repetitions and incorrect. 'Boosting' should be 'boosts' to match the present simple tense.

× I think chocolate is a very good idea as a gift because many people lo enjoy eating chocolate and there are lots of varieties of it in the markets and also people can do at home as well if they want to reduce some content.

✓ I think chocolate is a very good idea as a gift because many people enjoy eating chocolate and there are lots of varieties of it in the markets and also people can make it at home as well if they want to reduce some content.

The phrase 'lo enjoy' is a typo and should be 'enjoy'. 'People can do at home' is incorrect; it should be 'people can make it at home' to correctly express the action.