巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., “I can encounter” → “I have found” or “I can find”).

範例: Yes, I do. I often have a small piece of chocolate after studying because it helps me relax. Moreover, since moving to London I’ve discovered a wide variety of chocolates from places like Belgium and Switzerland, which I enjoy trying.

建議: Give a clearer frequency and avoid repetition. Use a precise time expression and one strong reason with a linking word. Avoid vague claims like “contains a lot of nutrition” without specifics.

範例: I eat chocolate occasionally, perhaps two or three times a week, mainly on stressful days. I carry a small bar to school because it’s convenient and gives me a quick energy boost.

建議: Good structure and clear reasons. Improve fluency by simplifying tense use and tightening sentences. Use a linking word like “because” then follow with concise detail.

範例: No, I didn’t. Because I played baseball from the age of ten, I avoided junk food like chocolate to build strength, and I mostly ate rice and other healthy foods.

建議: Strong content and a good example. Make it more concise by linking ideas smoothly and correcting small phrasing issues (e.g., “people whom they like” → “people they like”).

範例: Chocolate is popular because it’s often given as a gift, which creates positive emotions. For example, in Japan many women give chocolates on Valentine’s Day, and such cultural traditions boost chocolate’s appeal worldwide.

建議: Be specific and avoid contradictory wording (calling dark chocolate “complicated” is unclear). Use one clear preference and explain briefly why, with linking words.

範例: I prefer classic milk chocolate, especially brands like Godiva from Belgium because it’s creamy and balanced. For that reason, I usually avoid stronger flavours like mint or very bitter dark chocolate.

建議: Solid answer but a bit repetitive. Open with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concise reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating “many types” twice.

範例: Yes, I do, because chocolate suits many tastes — from sweet to bitter — and can be found in attractive packaging from countries like Switzerland and Belgium, making it an easy and thoughtful gift.

× I love eating chocolate, especially since coming to London.

✓ I have loved eating chocolate, especially since coming to London.

The phrase 'since coming to London' indicates a time period from a past point to now, so the present perfect tense ('have loved') is appropriate to show a continuing state that began in the past and continues to the present. Use present perfect with since to link past start to present. Suggestion: Use 'have loved' or 'have enjoyed' with 'since' to show ongoing preference.

× In addition, I can encounter many types of chocolates from Belgium and Switzerland.

✓ In addition, I can find many types of chocolate from Belgium and Switzerland.

'Encounter' is unusual when talking about finding or tasting products; 'find' or 'try' is more natural. Also 'types of chocolate' is the common collocation (uncountable 'chocolate' with 'types of'). Use 'find' and 'types of chocolate.' Suggestion: Use 'find many types of chocolate' or 'try many kinds of chocolate.'

× I sometimes eat a piece of chocolate, especially on hard days.

✓ I sometimes eat a piece of chocolate, especially on hard days.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. No correction needed. (Included to show it meets the list and requires no change.)

× This is because it contains a lot of nutrition and I think it's very easy to carry.

✓ This is because it contains a lot of nutrients and I think it's very easy to carry.

'Nutrition' is a noncount noun referring to the field; 'nutrients' (plural) is correct when referring to specific nutritional components in food. The rest of the sentence is fine. Suggestion: Use 'nutrients' when referring to the beneficial substances in food.

× So when I go to school and study hard, I usually carry a piece of chocolate.

✓ So when I go to school and study hard, I usually take a piece of chocolate with me.

'Carry a piece of chocolate' is understandable but 'take a piece of chocolate with me' is more natural English for bringing food when going somewhere. Use 'take...with me' for personal possessions you bring. Suggestion: Use 'take...with me' or 'bring' depending on perspective.

× No, I didn't often eat chocolate when I was a child.

✓ No, I didn't often eat chocolate when I was a child.

This sentence is grammatically correct in past tense and matches the question about childhood. No correction needed.

× This is because I have been playing baseball since I was 10 years old and I had to improve my strength and power so I avoided junk food such as potato chips and chocolate.

✓ This is because I have been playing baseball since I was 10 years old, and I had to improve my strength and power, so I avoided junk food such as potato chips and chocolate.

The sentence needed commas for clarity rather than tense correction: 'have been playing' (present perfect continuous) correctly indicates an activity that began in the past and continues to the present. 'Had to' and 'avoided' refer to past decisions; they are acceptable if the speaker means they avoided junk food in the past. Maintain punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: Use commas to separate clauses; ensure intended time frame is clear. If avoidance continues, use 'have avoided.'

× Otherwise, I usually eat a lot of rice and healthy foods.

✓ Otherwise, I usually eat a lot of rice and other healthy foods.

Adding 'other' clarifies contrast with junk food mentioned earlier. Grammatically the original is acceptable, but 'other healthy foods' is more natural. Suggestion: Use 'other healthy foods' to show contrast with junk food.

× For example, in Japan on Valentine's Day, many women tend to give chocolates to people whom they like, and I think these cultural practices and traditions are very important for chocolate's popularity.

✓ For example, in Japan on Valentine's Day, many women tend to give chocolates to people they like, and I think these cultural practices and traditions are very important for chocolate's popularity.

'Whom' is often unnecessary in informal speech, and 'to people they like' is more natural. Removing 'whom' simplifies the relative clause. The rest of the sentence is fine. Suggestion: Use 'people they like' in spoken English; reserve 'whom' for formal constructions where it is clearly needed.

× I prefer very simple and classic styles of chocolate, and what I love the most is Godiva Chocolate from Belgium.

✓ I prefer very simple, classic styles of chocolate, and what I love the most is Godiva chocolate from Belgium.

Use a comma between coordinate adjectives 'simple' and 'classic.' 'Chocolate' should not be capitalized unless part of a brand name; 'Godiva' is the brand, so 'Godiva chocolate' is correct. Also 'styles of chocolate' is acceptable. Suggestion: Use comma between adjectives and lowercase 'chocolate' unless referencing a proper noun.

× In addition, I sometimes avoid complicated flavored chocolates such as dark chocolate and mint chocolate.

✓ In addition, I sometimes avoid complicatedly flavored chocolates such as dark chocolate and mint chocolate.

'Complicated flavored' is awkward; use 'complicatedly flavored' or better 'complex-flavored' or 'strongly flavored.' However, a more natural phrasing is 'I sometimes avoid strongly flavored chocolates.' Suggestion: Use 'strongly flavored chocolates' or 'complex-flavored chocolates.'

× Yes, I definitely think giving chocolate as gift or souvenir is a very good idea.

✓ Yes, I definitely think giving chocolate as a gift or souvenir is a very good idea.

This sentence needs the indefinite article 'a' before 'gift.' Use 'a gift' or 'a souvenir.' Suggestion: Include articles before singular countable nouns: 'a gift'.

× This is because there are many types of chocolate, from very bitter to sweet, and there are many types of chocolates from all over the world, including European countries such as Switzerland and Belgium.

✓ This is because there are many types of chocolate, from very bitter to sweet, and many come from all over the world, including European countries such as Switzerland and Belgium.

Avoid repeating 'there are many types' and be consistent with 'types of chocolate' (uncountable 'chocolate' with 'types of'). 'Many come from' is clearer than repeating the noun phrase. Suggestion: Use concise phrasing and consistent collocations: 'types of chocolate' and avoid unnecessary repetition.