唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy by combining ideas and use linking words to improve flow. Also, be cautious about making strong claims like 'I am a great singer' without support.

範例: Yes, I like singing because it's a relaxing hobby that I often enjoy in my free time. It helps me express myself and improve my mood.

建議: Your answer has good content but lacks clarity and coherence. Try to organise your ideas logically and use linking words. Also, clarify ambiguous phrases like 'train my boys' and avoid vague comparisons.

範例: Yes, I have been learning to sing since I was a child. Over the years, I have performed in concerts and even taught singing to my children, which has been a unique and rewarding experience.

建議: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks coherence. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Avoid making unsupported claims about your voice.

範例: I would like to sing for my family and friends because they support me. Additionally, I wouldn't mind performing for others who are interested in my music.

建議: Your answer is thoughtful but could be more concise and natural. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid uncertainty like 'maybe'.

範例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it allows me to connect emotionally with others, and sharing music often creates a joyful atmosphere.

× I enjoy singing because it is a hobby for me, I often do it in my free time and I consider that I am a great singer.

✓ I enjoy singing because it is a hobby for me. I often do it in my free time, and I consider myself a great singer.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence, combining multiple independent clauses with commas instead of proper punctuation. Splitting into two sentences and adding a comma before 'and' improves clarity and grammatical correctness. Also, 'consider that I am' is better expressed as 'consider myself' for natural English usage.

× Yes, I have learned how to sing since I was a child.

✓ Yes, I have learned how to sing since I was a child.

No correction needed here as the present perfect tense 'have learned' is correctly used with 'since' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present.

× I started to do concerts and also to train my boys, which I consider that is very different from the others and very special.

✓ I started to do concerts and also to train my boys, which I consider very different from others and very special.

The phrase 'which I consider that is' is incorrect; 'which I consider' should be followed directly by the adjective phrase without 'that is'. Also, 'the others' is better as 'others' to generalise. This correction improves sentence flow and grammatical accuracy.

× So I think that I have improved through the years.

✓ So I think that I have improved over the years.

The phrase 'through the years' is less common than 'over the years' when referring to gradual improvement. The tense is correct, but the preposition choice is improved for natural English.

× I would like to sing for my family, for my friends, and maybe for someone else that is curious about hearing me, but I would say that I have a great voice and I can do a concert.

✓ I would like to sing for my family, my friends, and maybe for someone else who is curious about hearing me, but I would say that I have a great voice and can perform a concert.

'Someone else that' should be 'someone else who' because 'who' refers to people. Also, 'do a concert' is unnatural; 'perform a concert' or 'give a concert' is better. Removing the second 'I' before 'can' improves sentence flow.

× Yes, singing can bring happiness to people for sure.

✓ Yes, singing can definitely bring happiness to people.

The phrase 'for sure' is informal and placed awkwardly. Replacing it with 'definitely' and placing it before the verb improves formality and sentence flow.

× I think that the reason why I sing is because I can connect with people through feelings and maybe they like the music so they stay and share with me that passion.

✓ I think the reason I sing is that I can connect with people through feelings, and maybe they like the music, so they stay and share that passion with me.

The phrase 'the reason why' is redundant; 'the reason' or 'why' alone suffices. 'Is because' is incorrect; 'is that' is correct. Adding commas improves readability. 'Share with me that passion' is better as 'share that passion with me' for natural word order.