唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence that answers the question, then give 1–2 specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and irrelevant numbers. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, 'because' and 'also'). Focus on meaning: explain how singing affects your feelings and relationships with concrete examples.

範例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me express my emotions and reduces stress. For example, I often sing at karaoke with my family during New Year, which brings us closer and makes celebrations more fun. Because of that, singing has improved my confidence and communication with others.

建議: Answer directly and give clear, specific details: say when, from whom, and what you learned. Use correct tense and avoid confusing or irrelevant words (e.g., 'football' and 'footage' here are unclear). Use linking words like 'so' and 'for example' to show cause and effect.

範例: Yes, I learned to sing about two years ago from my cousin's husband, who used to teach me vocal warm-ups and how to sing in a higher range. For example, he showed me breathing exercises and scale practice, which helped me reach higher notes more comfortably.

建議: This answer is fairly clear but can be improved by a concise topic sentence and one specific reason. Avoid filler sounds and rhetorical questions. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to explain why you would sing for those people.

範例: I would like to sing for my close family, friends and my crush because singing is a personal way to show affection. For instance, I sometimes perform a song at family gatherings to express gratitude and make them feel special.

建議: Begin with a clear position (yes or no) and then explain with specific reasons and examples. Avoid contradicting yourself; if music can bring both emotions, say so clearly and use linking words such as 'however' and 'for example'.

範例: I think singing can bring both happiness and sadness depending on the melody. For example, an upbeat song with a lively rhythm usually makes people feel joyful, while a slow, minor-key song can make listeners feel nostalgic or sad.

× Of course, I like singing is the way to struggle my feeling and struggle my feeling also.

✓ Of course, I like singing; it helps me express my feelings.

The original sentence incorrectly combines a gerund phrase with 'is' and uses 'struggle' incorrectly. Use the gerund 'singing' as a subject and link it with a clear verb phrase ('helps me express') to show function. 'Struggle my feeling' is ungrammatical; use 'express my feelings' instead. Keep subject-verb structure simple and logical. Suggested improvement: use 'singing helps me express my feelings'.

× And then it can be improve your communication with your friends and then your family also.

✓ It can also improve your communication with your friends and your family.

Pronoun and verb forms are incorrect. 'It' is correct as reference to 'singing', but 'can be improve' is wrong; use the base verb after modal 'can' ('can improve'). Place 'also' appropriately after 'can' or before the object. Ensure parallel objects 'friends and your family'. Suggested improvement: use 'can also improve' and keep pronouns consistent.

× Uh, maybe 4 as a mother, I less 31.

✓ Uh, maybe I'm a 31-year-old mother.

The original lacks correct verb 'am' and uses numbers incorrectly. Use the copula 'am' for identity/age and hyphenate age when used as an adjective ('31-year-old'). Specify 'mother' clearly. Also 'maybe' can remain to indicate uncertainty. Suggested improvement: say 'maybe I'm a 31-year-old mother'.

× I celebrate my new year at the karaoke and I improve my communication.

✓ I celebrate New Year at karaoke and it improves my communication.

Tense and article use: 'New Year' is a fixed phrase and does not need 'my' in this context; 'at karaoke' is idiomatic. Use simple present to describe habitual action ('I celebrate... and it improves...') and ensure subject 'it' (singing/karaoke) agrees with verb 'improves'. Suggested improvement: use consistent present tense for habitual actions.

× Uh, yes, last two year I learned how to sing from my cousins husband and all his party party.

✓ Yes, two years ago I learned how to sing from my cousin's husband at one of his parties.

Use 'two years ago' for past time reference rather than 'last two year'. Possessive apostrophe needed in 'cousin's husband'. 'At one of his parties' clarifies context; avoid repeating 'party'. Suggested improvement: use 'two years ago' + correct possessive.

× He wanted to me sing a song so he practiced with me at high range of football and then how to sing a high range of footage and I think I sang a song for his uh.

✓ He wanted me to sing a song, so he practiced with me how to sing in a high range, and I think I sang for him.

Pronoun order 'wanted me to' not 'wanted to me'. Remove irrelevant 'football' and 'footage' which seem to be incorrect words; use 'high range' for vocal register. 'For his' should be 'for him'. Use commas to separate clauses and simplify the sentence. Suggested improvement: focus on intended meaning: practicing high notes and singing for him.

× I would like to sing for my close family and friends and also my crush.

✓ I would like to sing for my close family, friends, and also my crush.

This sentence is mostly correct grammatically but needs commas for clarity when listing. Ensure parallel items in a list separated by commas. Modal 'would like' is correct for polite desire. Suggested improvement: add commas to separate list items.

× But UH is the best way to the UH express your feelings?

✓ But is singing the best way to express your feelings?

The original has filler 'UH' and incorrect word order. Use question form with auxiliary 'is' + subject 'singing' + complement. Remove filler and extra 'the'. Suggested improvement: form clear yes/no question: 'Is singing the best way to express your feelings?'

× I would like to sing a song for them.

✓ I would like to sing a song for them.

This sentence is correct; it uses the modal 'would like' to express desire. No change required except punctuation or context. Included here for completeness. Suggested improvement: none needed.

× Uh, no, I don't think so. Singing can bring happiness and also sadness is maybe it's depend on melody.

✓ No, I don't think so. Singing can bring happiness or sadness; maybe it depends on the melody.

Run-on and awkward conjunctions: use 'or' rather than 'and also' to contrast happiness/sadness. 'Maybe it's depend' is incorrect; use 'maybe it depends on'. 'The melody' as a general concept can be 'the melody' or 'the melody of the song'. Use semicolon or separate sentences for clarity. Suggested improvement: use 'depends on the melody' and choose correct conjunctions.

× The melody is a sad and you can be, uh, not happy, but the melody is a very, uh, excited for someone is can be happiness song, I think.

✓ If the melody is sad, you may feel unhappy; if the melody is exciting, it can be a happy song, I think.

Adjective/adverb misuse: 'a sad' is incorrect—'sad' describes melody, not a noun. Use conditional clauses: 'If the melody is sad...' Use 'may feel unhappy' for possibility. 'Excited' describes a person, 'exciting' describes the melody. Remove extra fillers and correct modal placement ('can be a happy song'). Suggested improvement: use correct adjective forms ('sad' vs 'sad song') and match adjectives to nouns ('exciting melody').