唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조가 단순하고 반복이 많습니다. 주제 문장으로 바로 답한 뒤 (예: Yes, I do.) 이유를 연결하고 구체적인 세부사항(언제, 어떤 노래, 누구와 함께하는지)을 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because, when)를 자연스럽게 사용해 문장을 다양하게 만드세요. 답변 길이는 3~4문장으로 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. Singing makes me feel happy and relaxed because it helps me express my emotions. For example, I often sing pop songs in the shower or car when I want to lift my mood, and that always cheers me up.

建議: 답은 명확하지만 반복과 모호한 표현('properly and loudly')이 있습니다. 누가, 언제, 어떤 방식으로 배웠는지 구체적으로 설명하세요. 또한 연결어를 사용해 문장 흐름을 개선하세요.

範例: Yes, I have. My mother taught me basic techniques when I was a child, such as breath control and vocal projection. For example, she would help me practice scales and sing along to songs to improve my pitch.

建議: 문장이 단편적이고 문법(마침표 오용) 오류가 있습니다. 먼저 단도직입적으로 답한 후 이유와 구체적 예시를 덧붙이세요. 감정 표현을 구체적으로 설명하면 더욱 설득력 있습니다.

範例: I would like to sing for my mother because she has always supported me and I want to show my appreciation. For example, I often perform a simple song for her on her birthday to thank her for everything she does.

建議: 의견은 분명하지만 개인 경험만 반복하고 일반화된 설명이 부족합니다. 다른 사람들에게 어떤 방식으로 도움이 되는지 구체적 예(스트레스 해소, 사회적 연결 등)를 제공하고 연결어로 논리 구조를 명확히 하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. Singing can reduce stress and boost mood because it releases endorphins and helps people express emotions. For example, group singing in a choir can create a sense of belonging and make participants feel happier.

× For example, singing in loud, it makes me happy.

✓ For example, singing loudly makes me happy.

The phrase uses the verb form 'singing' correctly as a gerund, but 'in loud' is incorrect. An adverb is required to modify the verb 'singing' or the action 'makes me happy.' Use the adverb 'loudly' instead of the adjective 'loud' and remove the unnecessary preposition 'in.' Suggestion: replace 'in loud' with 'loudly.'

× I want to sing for my mom because I. Love my mom most, for example.

✓ I want to sing for my mom because I love her the most; for example, we are best friends.

The original has a period breaking the sentence incorrectly ('I. Love') and repeats 'my mom' awkwardly. Also 'most' needs 'the' in this comparative context and the pronoun 'her' is more natural. Restructure the sentence to connect ideas: join clauses, use 'the most' and replace the repeated noun with a pronoun. Suggestion: remove the erroneous period, use 'her the most' and link the example clause.

× For example, she taught me how to sing properly and loudly.

✓ For example, she taught me how to sing properly and loudly.

This sentence is already correct grammatically. 'How to sing' is a correct infinitive structure and 'properly and loudly' are adverb modifiers describing how to sing. No change needed.

× I think so because when I sing I feel happy.

✓ I think so because when I sing, I feel happy.

The sentence is grammatically correct in tense and meaning, but it needs a comma after the subordinate clause 'when I sing' for clarity. Suggestion: add a comma to separate clauses.

× So yes, I think I like singing.

✓ So yes, I think I like singing.

This sentence is grammatically correct in tense and structure. No change required.

× Yes, I have because my mom taught me how to sing.

✓ Yes, I have, because my mom taught me how to sing.

The student uses 'Yes, I have' as a short answer to 'Have you ever learnt how to sing?' which is acceptable. Adding a comma before the explanation improves readability. Tense usage is consistent: present perfect for experience and past simple for the teaching event.

× For example, singing loudly makes me happy.

✓ For example, singing loudly makes me happy.

This sentence is correct: 'singing' as a gerund and 'loudly' as an adverb modifying it. No correction needed.

× For example, singing in loud, it makes me happy.

✓ For example, singing loudly makes me happy.

Repeated sentence: same error as earlier. Replace 'in loud' with the adverb 'loudly' and remove the unnecessary comma and pronoun 'it.' Use 'singing loudly makes me happy.'