鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to reduce filler words like 'uh' and 'because' when not necessary. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific supporting details using linking words for coherence. For example, mention what styles you prefer and why you buy shoes once or twice a year.

範例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes because I like to express my personal style. I usually buy shoes once or twice a year, depending on how long my current pair lasts.

建議: Your answer is clear but could be improved by using linking words to connect ideas smoothly and by providing more specific details about the experience. Avoid run-on sentences and filler words.

範例: Yes, I have bought shoes online. For example, last year I purchased a beautiful pair, but the size didn't fit well. Since then, I prefer to try shoes on in stores before buying.

建議: Avoid filler words and be more precise in your answer. Start with a direct response, then explain with specific details. Also, clarify the currency or amount to avoid confusion.

範例: I usually spend about 10 million VND per year on shoes because I buy them only once or twice annually.

建議: Reduce filler words and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words. Be specific about why you prefer comfortable shoes and contrast with others' preferences.

範例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes because I need enough space for my feet. However, many young people prefer fashionable shoes with beautiful designs.

× I like shoes in my style more than everything else and I buy it once or twice a year.

✓ I like shoes in my style more than everything else and I buy them once or twice a year.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'shoes', which is plural. The correct pronoun should be 'them' to agree in number with the plural noun 'shoes'.

× It depends on the last pair, uh, how long last pair lasts.

✓ It depends on the last pair, uh, how long the last pair lasts.

The phrase 'last pair' is missing the definite article 'the' before it. In English, singular countable nouns usually require an article. Adding 'the' clarifies the reference to a specific pair.

× since then I prefer to try it on myself before buying.

✓ since then I prefer to try them on myself before buying.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to 'shoes', which is plural. Also, 'try it on' should be 'try them on' to match the plural noun. This correction improves clarity and grammatical agreement.

× I don't spend much money on them, but I think, uh, it's 10 million in a year.

✓ I don't spend much money on them, but I think, uh, it's 10 million per year.

The phrase 'in a year' is less natural than 'per year' when referring to an amount spent annually. Also, the sentence is acceptable but can be improved for clarity and naturalness.

× my feet have enough space, but uh, more, uh, more young, uh, more young people, uh, prefer fashionable shoes

✓ my feet have enough space, but uh, more, uh, young people, uh, prefer fashionable shoes

The phrase 'more young, uh, more young people' is redundant and awkward. Removing the repeated 'more young' improves sentence clarity and flow.