鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 질문에 직접 답한 뒤 간단한 이유와 빈도를 명확히 제시해야 합니다. 문법 오류(예: a new shoes → a new pair of shoes), 불필요한 반복(‘shoes’ 과다 사용)을 줄이고 문장을 2~3문장으로 간결하게 만들면 자연스럽습니다. 또한 연결어를 사용해 이유를 더 매끄럽게 연결하세요. 예: 주제문 → 이유 → 빈도.

範例: Yes, I do. I see shoes as key fashion items because they complete an outfit, so I usually buy a new pair about once a year.

建議: 직접적이고 명확한 주제문을 먼저 말한 뒤, 이유와 구체적 행동을 연결어로 정리하세요. 문법(usually buy a new shoes → usually buy new shoes / a new pair of shoes), 어순과 표현을 다듬고 중복되는 음성 기호(‘umm’, ‘so’)를 제거하세요. 구체적으로 어떤 사이트나 어떤 리뷰 항목을 보는지 추가하면 좋습니다.

範例: Yes, I often buy shoes online because I rarely visit malls. I usually search for styles on shopping websites and read customer reviews to check sizing and comfort before buying.

建議: 요금에 대해 정확히 답한 뒤 이유(브랜드, 품질, 내구성)를 연결해 설명하세요. 문장 구성에서 ‘suit’ 같은 단어 선택 오류를 고치고 금액과 기간을 명확하게 표현하세요. 불필요한 충성 표현과 반복을 줄이고 연결어로 흐름을 개선하세요.

範例: I usually spend around $100 on a new pair of shoes because I prefer comfortable, branded ones that tend to last about four to five years.

建議: 직접적으로 선호를 밝히고, 구체적인 이유와 경험을 논리적으로 연결하세요. 문법(‘I prepared’ → I prefer, ‘shoes is’ → shoes are)과 어색한 표현을 교정하세요. 과거 경험을 말할 때는 시제를 일관되게 사용하고, 불필요한 중간 단어들을 제거해 간결하게 말하세요.

範例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they protect my feet. For example, when I wore very tight shoes once, my feet were badly sore, so comfort is more important to me.

× I buy a new shoes about once a year.

✓ I buy new shoes about once a year.

The noun 'shoes' is plural, so the article 'a' (used with singular count nouns) is incorrect. Remove 'a' or change to 'a pair of shoes'. Suggestion: 'I buy new shoes about once a year.' or 'I buy a pair of shoes about once a year.'

× Oh I usually buy a new shoes online because I don't go to the shopping mall.

✓ Oh I usually buy new shoes online because I don't go to the shopping mall.

Same issue: 'a' should not be used with the plural noun 'shoes'. Use no article or 'a pair of shoes'. Suggestion: 'I usually buy new shoes online.'

× Umm so I search my shoe style on shopping website and I read consumer reviews so I check.

✓ Umm, so I search for my shoe style on shopping websites and read consumer reviews to check them.

Problems: missing preposition 'for' after 'search', 'shopping website' should be plural or countable with an article, and awkward conjunctions. Using 'to check them' clarifies purpose. Also use parallel verbs 'search' and 'read'.

× Umm, I spend $100 on my new suit because I prepare comfortable and branded ones, and I also use, uh, shoes for a long time.

✓ Umm, I spend about $100 on new shoes because I prefer comfortable, branded ones, and I also use shoes for a long time.

Errors: 'spend $100 on my new suit' conflicts with context (shoes) — changed to 'on new shoes'. 'prepare' is wrong verb; use 'prefer'. 'ones' refers to shoes okay but reorder adjectives: 'comfortable, branded ones'.

× Umm, about four or five years.

✓ I use them for about four or five years.

Fragment: original is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. Add 'I use them for' to complete the thought and match present tense habit.

× I prepared comfortable shoes umm, because I think shoes is very important part umm, when I took uh on compressor shoes umm, my foot is very was very hurt.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because I think shoes are a very important part of clothing. When I wore compressed shoes, my foot hurt a lot.

Multiple issues: 'prepared' is wrong tense/word; use 'prefer' for current preference. 'shoes is' has subject-verb agreement error; plural 'shoes' needs 'are'. Missing article before 'very important part' and missing 'of clothing' for clarity. 'When I took on compressor shoes' is incorrect — use 'wore compressed shoes'. 'my foot is very was very hurt' mixes tenses and incorrect structure; use 'my foot hurt a lot' or 'my feet were very hurt'.