鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 문법 오류와 어색한 표현(예: "try to do not buying shoes")이 있습니다. 답변은 직접적으로 질문에 응답한 뒤 한두 개의 구체적 이유나 빈도를 덧붙이는 방식으로 2~3문장으로 구성하세요. 연결어(so, but, because)를 정확히 사용하고 어순과 형태(try not to buy)를 고치면 더 자연스럽습니다. 예를 들어 빈도(weekly/monthly)와 최근 구매를 한 구체적 예를 추가하세요.

範例: Yes, I do like buying shoes because I enjoy keeping up with fashion. However, I already have many pairs, so I try not to buy new ones often — maybe once every few months.

建議: 전반적으로 의사 전달은 되지만 어휘 선택과 문법 일부가 부정확합니다("have both shoes online"는 의미 불명확). 더 자연스러운 표현을 사용하고 이유와 방법을 연결어로 명확히 하세요. 또한 한 문장에서 ‘온라인 구매 경험’과 ‘신중한 태도(리뷰 확인)’를 구체적 예로 보강하면 좋습니다.

範例: Yes, I have bought shoes online several times because it is more convenient than going to stores. However, since sizes and quality can vary, I always read multiple customer reviews and check the return policy before I buy.

建議: 숫자 표현이 부정확하고 의도 전달이 모호합니다("200,001"은 의미 불명확). 금액을 보다 현실적인 수치로 제시하고, 이유(가격 상승)와 빈도(only when needed)를 연결어로 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 또한 한두 개의 구체적 비교나 예(예: 브랜드, 평소 예산)를 추가하면 점수가 올라갑니다.

範例: I usually spend around $100 to $150 on a pair of shoes these days because prices have gone up. Therefore, I tend to buy shoes only when I really need them, such as when my old pair wears out.

建議: 의견은 분명하지만 문장 반복과 문법 오류(‘comfortable shoes is’ => are, 중복된 'But')가 있습니다. 간결한 주제문을 제시한 뒤 이유 및 균형 잡힌 관점을 하나의 연결문장으로 제시하세요. 또한 구체적 상황(예: 긴 산책할 때는 편한 신발을 신고, 파티에는 멋진 신발을 신는다)을 덧붙이면 더 자연스럽습니다.

範例: I usually prefer fashionable shoes because I like to look stylish. However, I also value comfort, so for long walks or travel I choose comfortable shoes instead of fashionable ones.

× Yes, I really like buying shoes because I'm fashion conscious but I already have a lot of shoes so I usually try to do not buying shoes.

✓ Yes, I really like buying shoes because I'm fashion-conscious, but I already have a lot of shoes so I usually try not to buy shoes.

'Fashion conscious' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun: 'fashion-conscious'. The phrase 'try to do not buying shoes' is ungrammatical. Use the correct verb pattern: 'try not to buy' (verb + not + infinitive). Also add a comma before 'but' linking two independent clauses. Suggestion: Use 'try not to' + base verb for negative attempts (e.g., 'I try not to buy shoes'). Use hyphenation for compound adjectives before nouns.

× Yes, I have both shoes online because it's more convenient than shopping in stores.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online because it's more convenient than shopping in stores.

The student used 'both' incorrectly; 'both' requires two items and is unnecessary here. More importantly, the verb 'have' with 'both' is wrong; the intended meaning is past experience, so present perfect 'have bought' is correct. Use 'bought' (past participle) with 'have' to form present perfect. Suggestion: Use 'have bought' to describe past experiences affecting the present (e.g., 'Yes, I have bought shoes online'). Remove 'both' unless specifying two specific things.

× However, it can be risky so I always check many customer reviews before buying.

✓ However, it can be risky, so I always check many customer reviews before buying.

A comma is needed before 'so' when joining two independent clauses. The preposition use here is acceptable ('check ... before buying'), but punctuation improves clarity. Suggestion: Use a comma before coordinating conjunctions that connect independent clauses.

× Well, I usually spend about 200,001 these days. Shoes have become quite expensive, so I try to buy them only when I really need them.

✓ Well, I usually spend about 200,000 these days. Shoes have become quite expensive, so I try to buy them only when I really need them.

The number '200,001' is odd in this context and likely a typo; if the student means a round amount, use '200,000'. This is not strictly a grammar rule but a numeric correction to match typical expression. 'These days' and plural 'shoes' are fine. Suggestion: Use realistic numeric expressions and commas correctly in large numbers (e.g., '200,000'). If a specific amount was intended, write it clearly.

× But I know that comfortable shoes is more safe for my feet.

✓ But I know that comfortable shoes are safer for my feet.

'Shoes' is plural, so the verb must be 'are' not 'is' (subject-verb agreement). 'More safe' is non-idiomatic; use the comparative 'safer'. Also 'for my feet' is correct. Suggestion: Match verb number to subject (plural subjects take plural verbs) and use standard comparative forms ('safer' rather than 'more safe').

× But I always choose fashionable shoes.

✓ But I always choose fashionable shoes.

The sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Provide clarity: keep present simple for habitual action. Suggestion: None.