规则— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 文法の誤りを修正し、より自然で明確な表現を使うことが重要です。また、文を簡潔にし、冗長な部分を避けることが求められます。例えば、「student cannot use elevator except for a breaking bone」は「students cannot use the elevator unless they have a broken bone」のように修正できます。

範例: At my school, students are not allowed to use the elevator unless they have a broken bone. If they break this rule, they may be punished or suspended for up to three weeks.

建議: 文法と語順の誤りを直し、より自然な表現を使いましょう。また、理由を明確にし、接続詞を使って論理的に説明することが大切です。

範例: Yes, I believe students would benefit from having more rules because school rules are similar to moral rules in society. By following these rules, students can learn how to fit into society in the future.

建議: 文法の誤りを修正し、文を完結させることが必要です。また、具体的な例や詳細を加えて内容を豊かにしましょう。

範例: Yes, I had a teacher who was very passionate about teaching social studies, especially world history. Since high school started, he has shared a lot of detailed knowledge in every class, which made the subject very interesting.

建議: 文法と語彙の誤りを直し、意見を明確に述べることが重要です。接続詞を使って理由を論理的に説明し、冗長な表現を避けましょう。

範例: I prefer fewer rules at school because strict rules can be annoying for students. Although more rules might benefit us in the future, I don't like feeling limited by them.

建議: 文法の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくいので、正しい文法と語彙を使い、内容を明確に表現しましょう。具体的な行動や状況を詳しく説明すると良いです。

範例: Yes, I had a very strict teacher in 11th grade. He closely supervised the class and often came into the classroom to check if we were paying attention. If we were not, he would get very angry.

建議: 文法と語彙の誤りを修正し、文を完結させることが必要です。理由を明確に述べ、接続詞を使って論理的に説明しましょう。

範例: No, I would not like to work as a teacher in a school without rules because it would be very difficult to control the students. I have seen our teachers struggle to manage us even with strict rules.

× In our school, we have strict rules that student cannot use elevator except for a breaking bone.

✓ In our school, we have strict rules that students cannot use the elevator except for a broken bone.

The noun 'student' should be plural 'students' to agree with the plural subject 'rules'. Also, 'a breaking bone' is incorrect; it should be 'a broken bone' to describe the condition. Additionally, 'elevator' needs the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific elevator in the school.

× If we broke these rules, we're gonna be punished and might be suspended for next three weeks.

✓ If we break these rules, we are going to be punished and might be suspended for the next three weeks.

The conditional sentence requires the present tense 'break' after 'if' for a real possibility. 'We're gonna' is informal; 'we are going to' is more appropriate. Also, 'for next three weeks' needs the definite article 'the' before 'next'.

× Yes, I think it is very important for student have more rules because school rules basically is the common rule like moral one in normal society and by following these rules you can be fit in the society one day.

✓ Yes, I think it is very important for students to have more rules because school rules basically are common rules like moral ones in normal society, and by following these rules you can fit into society one day.

'Student' should be plural 'students' to match the context. 'Have' needs 'to' after 'for students'. 'School rules basically is' should be 'school rules basically are' to agree in number. 'Common rule like moral one' should be plural 'common rules like moral ones'. 'Fit in the society' should be 'fit into society' without 'the'.

× Yes, I have a teacher who were very passionate to teach about social study, especially world history.

✓ Yes, I have a teacher who is very passionate about teaching social studies, especially world history.

'Who were' is incorrect; it should be 'who is' because the teacher is singular and present tense. 'Passionate to teach about social study' is awkward; 'passionate about teaching social studies' is correct. 'Social study' should be plural 'social studies'.

× Since high school started he's he has a lot of knowledge of world history and in every class he tells a tells us a lot of details about the.

✓ Since high school started, he has had a lot of knowledge of world history, and in every class, he tells us a lot of details about it.

The sentence is awkward and contains repetition 'he's he has' and 'tells a tells us'. It should be corrected for clarity and grammar. 'Since high school started' requires a comma. 'He has had' is the present perfect tense appropriate here. 'Tells us a lot of details about the' is incomplete; 'about it' completes the thought.

× I prefer few rules, even though I know more rules, I score more benefit in the future.

✓ I prefer few rules, even though I know more rules would bring more benefits in the future.

'Score more benefit' is incorrect; it should be 'bring more benefits'. 'Benefit' should be plural 'benefits' because it refers to multiple advantages. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× This is because at the status of the student, the strict law that school has a very annoying and I don't want to be limited by the those kind of rules.

✓ This is because, as a student, the strict rules that the school has are very annoying, and I don't want to be limited by those kinds of rules.

'At the status of the student' is awkward; 'as a student' is better. 'The strict law that school has a very annoying' is incorrect; it should be 'the strict rules that the school has are very annoying'. 'The those kind of rules' is redundant; use 'those kinds of rules'.

× Yes, I had very strict teacher when I was 11th grade.

✓ Yes, I had a very strict teacher when I was in 11th grade.

Missing article 'a' before 'very strict teacher'. Also, '11th grade' should be preceded by 'in' to indicate time.

× He was not teaching us but he taught the class very near to us and sometimes he came to a classroom and checked either where recent class and if we didn't he get really mad.

✓ He was not teaching us directly, but he taught the class very close to us. Sometimes he came to the classroom and checked whether we had attended the recent class, and if we hadn't, he got really mad.

The sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. 'Very near to us' should be 'very close to us'. 'Checked either where recent class' is incorrect; it should be 'checked whether we had attended the recent class'. 'If we didn't he get really mad' should be 'if we hadn't, he got really mad'.

× No, I would not like to work as a teacher in a law free school because I think it is very hard to control the student with no rules and by watching our teachers, they're very struggling about controlling us even though we have a strict role, so I don't want to be.

✓ No, I would not like to work as a teacher in a law-free school because I think it is very hard to control the students with no rules, and by watching our teachers, they struggle a lot to control us even though we have strict rules, so I don't want to be one.

'Law free school' should be hyphenated as 'law-free school'. 'The student' should be plural 'the students'. 'They're very struggling about controlling us' is incorrect; it should be 'they struggle a lot to control us'. 'Strict role' should be 'strict rules'. The sentence ends abruptly; 'so I don't want to be one' completes the thought.