规则— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct minor grammar (e.g., "a rules" → "rules"). Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail and a short reason. Use a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid repeating obvious phrases like "at the moment."

範例: Yes. Our school has clear rules banning ethnic discrimination. For example, because the school is in central London with many international students, the policy ensures respect and inclusion for everyone.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and add a specific consequence with clearer linking. Replace vague phrasing ("we could not develop our individuality and diversity enough") with a concrete effect. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

範例: No, I don't think more rules always help. For example, my high school had very strict uniform rules, so students felt unable to express their personalities. As a result, many classmates seemed less confident.

建議: Good structure and relevant detail. Improve naturalness by tightening phrasing and adding a brief reflection on impact. Use a linking phrase like "for instance" or "as a result."

範例: Yes. For instance, my junior high math teacher was also our baseball coach and often came to weekend practices. As a result, he taught us technical skills and the importance of teamwork, which really helped me cooperate with others.

建議: Correct phrasing ("too excessive" → "excessive"), and avoid contradiction: saying fewer rules but then praising no homework needs clearer link to learning. Provide one specific example of how fewer rules improved thinking, and use a linking word to connect cause and effect.

範例: I prefer fewer rules because excessive restrictions can stifle independent thinking. For example, in junior high we had no regular homework, which allowed me to explore projects independently and develop my own study methods.

建議: Fix grammar and word choice ("it's" → "its", "mathematical" → "math"). Make the points concise: state one clear example and its effect on you. Avoid repeating "homework" too often and limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes. In high school, which was known for heavy coursework, a strict math teacher regularly assigned long homework. As a result, many students felt stressed and had little time for extracurricular activities.

建議: Good balanced answer. Improve phrasing ("strict laws" → "strict rules"; "classrooms discipline" → "classroom discipline"). Make the conditional idea clearer and shorter, and use a linking word like "however" correctly to contrast two ideas.

範例: I wouldn't prefer a completely rule-free school because it would be hard to manage student behaviour and maintain classroom discipline. However, if students were mature and responsible, I would be open to teaching there.

× So I think setting such a rules is very important, especially at the moment, because we should value diversity.

✓ So I think setting such a rule is very important, especially at the moment, because we should value diversity.

Using 'a' requires a singular noun. 'Rules' is plural so 'a rules' is incorrect. Change to singular 'rule' to match the article 'a', or remove 'a' and keep 'rules'. Suggestion: use 'a rule' or 'such rules' depending on intended meaning.

× Therefore we could not develop our individuality and diversity enough.

✓ Therefore we could not develop our individuality and diversity sufficiently.

The adverb 'enough' usually follows the adjective or adverb it modifies; when modifying a verb phrase, 'sufficiently' is more natural and formal. Replace 'enough' with 'sufficiently' to fit the verb 'develop'. Alternatively place 'enough' after the adjective (e.g., 'not develop ... enough').

× He was not only a mathematics teacher but also a baseball coach and he usually attended our practice even on weekends and taught us a lot about importance of teamwork.

✓ He was not only a mathematics teacher but also a baseball coach, and he usually attended our practices even on weekends and taught us a lot about the importance of teamwork.

Plural 'practices' is more natural for repeated events. Also, the noun phrase needs the definite article 'the' before 'importance'. Commas improve sentence flow. Ensure plural for habitual activities and include 'the' before abstract noun 'importance'.

× To be honest, I prefer fewer rules, mainly because too excessive restrictions can prevent students from thinking deeply about their studies.

✓ To be honest, I prefer fewer rules, mainly because overly excessive restrictions can prevent students from thinking deeply about their studies.

The adverb 'too' does not pair well with 'excessive'; use 'overly excessive' or simply 'excessive' or 'too many'. Better: 'overly excessive restrictions' or 'excessive restrictions'. Alternatively 'too many restrictions'.

× For example, when I was in junior high, there was no homework and it could help us develop our individuality.

✓ For example, when I was in junior high, there was no homework, and it could help us develop our individuality.

Comma added for clarity. The sentence is otherwise acceptable, but consider 'this could' instead of 'it could' to refer clearly to the absence of homework. Suggestion: 'and this could help us...'. No major grammatical error beyond clarity.

× Yes, I met several strict teachers in my life, especially when I was in high school because that school was very famous in our local town for it's too heavy homework.

✓ Yes, I met several strict teachers in my life, especially when I was in high school because that school was very famous in our local town for its heavy workload of homework.

Use 'its' (possessive) not 'it's' (contraction of 'it is'). 'Too heavy homework' is unidiomatic; use 'heavy workload of homework' or 'very heavy homework load'. Also 'local town' is redundant; 'town' suffices. Suggestions: correct possessive pronoun and rephrase 'too heavy homework'.

× In particular, a mathematical teacher was very strict, he always assigned us to have a homework and we could not enjoy high school life enough.

✓ In particular, a math teacher was very strict; he always assigned us homework, and we could not enjoy high school life enough.

Do not use 'a homework'—'homework' is uncountable and does not take 'a'. Use 'assigned us homework'. Also 'mathematical teacher' is awkward; 'math teacher' or 'mathematics teacher' is better. Use proper punctuation (semicolon or period) to separate clauses.

× Honestly, I wouldn't like to work as a teacher without any strict laws, mainly because it would be very tough for us to manage children's behavior and maintain classrooms discipline.

✓ Honestly, I wouldn't like to work as a teacher without any strict rules, mainly because it would be very tough for us to manage children's behavior and maintain classroom discipline.

'Laws' is inappropriate in a school context; 'rules' is better. 'Classrooms discipline' should be 'classroom discipline' (singular, compound noun). Modals okay otherwise. Suggest replacing 'laws' with 'rules' and correct noun form.

× However, if children were mature enough we could manage it, so I would still like to work there.

✓ However, if children were mature enough, we could manage it, so I would still like to work there.

Added comma after the conditional clause for clarity. The tense 'were... could' is a mixed conditional; it's acceptable for hypothetical present situations. Ensure punctuation. No change in verb forms needed.