爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct verb forms, and avoid repetition. Add one or two specific details (style of dance, how often you practice) linked with a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes. My main hobby is dancing, which I started when I was five. My mother enrolled me in a dance studio after seeing me dance at home, and I now practice ballet and contemporary twice a week because I enjoy expressing myself through movement.

建議: Avoid repetition and correct vocabulary errors (e.g., 'Belgium dancing' likely 'ballroom' or a specific style). Use linking words to connect ideas and correct past tense forms. Provide one clear supporting detail about drawing or dancing rather than repeating the same point.

範例: As a child, my favorite hobby was ballroom dancing, although I also enjoyed drawing. Because dancing made me feel joyful and confident, I continued training regularly and eventually developed a real passion for it.

建議: Use correct vocabulary and tense, and avoid starting sentences with filler words like 'So'. Give a concise topic sentence, then one supporting detail about how the hobby influenced you. Use a linking word like 'because' or 'since'.

範例: Yes, I have danced since childhood. My mother enrolled me in a dance studio after seeing me dance at home, and since then I have become very passionate about dance because it helps me relieve stress and stay fit.

建議: Be clearer and avoid contradictions. Start with a direct answer (No, we have different hobbies) then list family members' hobbies briefly with linking words. Correct pronoun and tense errors and be specific (e.g., how often they play or why differences exist).

範例: No, we don't share the same hobbies. My parents prefer playing volleyball and my brother usually plays football, while I enjoy dancing. I think our different interests reflect our ages and personalities, and we still support each other's activities.

× I have a hobby it is bedroom dancing.

✓ I have a hobby: bedroom dancing.

Run-on sentence lacking proper punctuation or conjunction. Use a colon or a dash to introduce an appositive noun phrase. Alternatively split into two sentences: 'I have a hobby. It is bedroom dancing.'

× I've been doing it from a very young age like 5 years old

✓ I've been doing it since I was about five years old.

Incorrect use of 'from' with a specific age and informal 'like'. Use 'since' with a point in time or 'for' with a duration. Also replace '5 years old' with 'five years old' and include 'about' for approximation.

× and it all happened when my mom saw me dancing in the living room and she decided to give me to bring me to a dance studio and that's when this all begin.

✓ It all started when my mom saw me dancing in the living room and decided to bring me to a dance studio; that's when it all began.

Multiple issues: awkward phrasing 'give me to bring me' and wrong verb form 'begin' (should be past 'began'). Use a clearer structure and past tense for a past event. Replace run-on with proper punctuation.

× Did you have any hobbies when you were a child?

✓ (No correction needed)

Question is correctly formed in past tense and requires no grammatical correction.

× So when I was a child, my favorite hobby was ballroom dancing.

✓ (No correction needed)

Sentence correctly uses past tense 'was' to describe a childhood hobby.

× But I I also used to draw a lot.

✓ But I also used to draw a lot.

Typographical repetition of 'I'. Remove the duplicate. 'Used to' correctly expresses a past habitual action.

× But Belgium dancing was the thing that the hobby that made me happy and it always brought happiness into my life.

✓ But ballroom dancing was the hobby that made me happy and always brought joy into my life.

Multiple redundancy and wrong word 'Belgium' instead of 'ballroom'. Remove repeated phrases 'the thing that the hobby' and use consistent vocabulary ('joy' instead of repeated 'happiness').

× So since then I've became passionate about dancing.

✓ So since then I've become passionate about dancing.

After 'have' the past participle 'become' is required, not the simple past 'became'. Use present perfect to link past start to present state.

× So a hobby that I've had since childhood is Belgium dancing.

✓ A hobby that I've had since childhood is ballroom dancing.

Replace 'Belgium' with 'ballroom' (word choice). The present perfect 'I've had since childhood' is correctly used to indicate continuity.

× It all started at a very young age when my mom saw me dancing in the living room and decided to bring me to a dance studio.

✓ (No correction needed)

Sentence correctly uses past tense verbs 'started', 'saw', and 'decided' for a past event.

× And since then I've became very passionate about this hobby.

✓ And since then I've become very passionate about this hobby.

Same error as earlier: use past participle 'become' after 'have', not simple past 'became'.

× Yes we have.

✓ Yes, we do.

Awkward affirmative reply to 'Do you have the same hobbies...' uses 'we have' without object. More natural response is 'Yes, we do.' Also add a comma after 'Yes'.

× We have different hobbies.

✓ We have different hobbies.

This sentence is correct; it clearly answers the question and needs no change.

× My family, my mom and my dad the preferred to play volleyball, my brother prefers to play football and I really enjoy your dancing.

✓ My parents prefer to play volleyball, my brother prefers to play football, and I really enjoy dancing.

Several issues: redundant listing 'my family, my mom and my dad the' is awkward; 'preferred' should be present 'prefer' for habitual actions; 'your dancing' is incorrect pronoun choice — should be 'dancing' or 'dance'. Reorder for clarity and use parallel verb forms.

× But I think this is because of the age and the personality differences.

✓ But I think this is because of age and personality differences.

Article 'the' is unnecessary before uncountable abstract nouns 'age' and 'personality differences' in this context. Remove 'the' to sound natural.