爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetitions, correct grammar (e.g. 'I used to be overweight' not 'before overweight'), and limit to 2–4 supporting sentences. Add one specific detail about current routine or benefit. Use linking words like 'now' or 'however'.

範例: I don't have many hobbies, but I regularly go to the gym. I used to be overweight and lost weight through consistent exercise, so going to the gym became a habit. Now I mostly go to recharge and relieve stress, usually doing 45 minutes of cardio and light weights three times a week.

建議: Improve coherence and grammar: begin with a clear topic sentence about the childhood hobby, avoid unclear phrases, and provide specific supporting details (which instrument, how often you practised, and an example of a memory). Use linking words like 'when' and 'for example'. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes. When I was a child I learned a traditional Chinese instrument, the guzheng, and attended weekly music classes. I often practised for about an hour a day and performed in school events such as Children's Day. For example, I remember playing a solo piece in front of my class, which made me proud.

建議: Be more precise and avoid repetition: state the hobby clearly, explain how it continued into adulthood with concrete examples (performances, teaching, or cultural events), and describe one specific activity you do abroad to promote culture. Use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore'.

範例: Yes. I have played the guzheng since childhood and continued after moving abroad. I still practise weekly and often perform at cultural events, where I introduce traditional Chinese music to foreigners. For example, last month I gave a short concert and explained the history of the instrument to the audience.

建議: Make the contrast clearer and more natural: begin with a direct topic sentence, use linking words ('whereas', 'while'), correct grammar (e.g. 'they prefer reading and chatting'), and give one specific example of a family activity to illustrate the difference. Keep it concise.

範例: No, my hobbies are quite different from my parents'. I enjoy going to the gym and exercising regularly, whereas my parents prefer staying at home reading books and chatting with each other. For instance, I go jogging on weekends while they usually spend weekend afternoons discussing books.

× I don't really have many hobbies but I'd like to go to the gym to work out because before umm umm overweight and I lost weight through the regular exercise so I developed this habit.

✓ I don't really have many hobbies, but I like to go to the gym to work out because I was overweight before and I lost weight through regular exercise, so I developed this habit.

The sentence has tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. Use past simple for a completed past state ('I was overweight before') and past simple for the action that happened ('I lost weight'). Use simple present for habitual actions ('I like to go to the gym'). Remove unnecessary filler words and adjust word order for natural English. Suggestion: keep past events in past tense and current habits in present tense.

× But for now, going to the gym is not for lose weight anymore, instead it is for uh, recharge myself.

✓ But now, going to the gym is not to lose weight anymore; instead, it is to recharge myself.

Incorrect verb form 'for lose' should be the infinitive 'to lose'. Use 'now' instead of 'for now' for concision; use a semicolon or conjunction to connect contrasting ideas. Remove filler sounds. Suggestion: use 'to' + base verb after purpose expressions like 'is to'.

× What up? Where is a child? I learned the Chinese traditional musical instrument are who I go to have the musical class every week.

✓ When I was a child, I learned a traditional Chinese musical instrument and I took music classes every week.

The original contains incorrect fragments and word order ('What up? Where is a child?') and verb agreement issues ('instrument are who'). Use a clear subordinate time clause 'When I was a child' and correct noun phrase 'a traditional Chinese musical instrument'. Use 'took music classes every week' to express habitual past action. Suggestion: plan sentences with clear subject-verb-object order and appropriate tense markers.

× So I remember when I was a kid and when I took turns to the children's day.

✓ I remember that when I was a kid I performed during Children's Day.

The phrase 'took turns to the children's day' is incorrect and unclear. Use 'performed during Children's Day' or 'took part in Children's Day performances' to express participation. Maintain present tense for 'I remember' and past tense for the remembered events. Suggestion: pair 'I remember' with 'that' + past clause for clarity.

× I have more performance about the show.

✓ I had more performances in the show.

Tense should be past ('had') to match the context 'when I was a kid'. 'Performance' should be plural 'performances' if more than one. Preposition 'in' fits 'the show'. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches context and align tense with the time reference.

× Since childhood, yes, when I was a child, I learned the Chinese traditional Chinese musical instrument, and this hobby follows me until today when I came abroad.

✓ Since childhood, yes, I learned a traditional Chinese musical instrument, and this hobby has stayed with me until today after I came abroad.

Redundant phrase 'Chinese traditional Chinese' removed. Use present perfect ('has stayed') to express continuation from past to present. 'When I came abroad' should be connected clearly; use 'after I came abroad' or 'even after I came abroad'. Suggestion: use present perfect for actions continuing to present and avoid repetition.

× Uh, there are many trends for me to, uh, advertise, advertise Chinese, Chinese traditional culture to foreigners.

✓ There are many opportunities for me to promote traditional Chinese culture to foreigners.

'Trends for me to advertise' is incorrect collocation. Use 'opportunities to promote' or 'ways to introduce'. Remove repetition 'advertise, advertise Chinese, Chinese traditional'. Use 'traditional Chinese culture' as natural word order. Suggestion: learn common collocations like 'opportunities to promote' and avoid repetition.

× Umm, I'm totally different from my parents. Like I like to uh, go to the gym for workout, but my parents, they like stay at home for a reading and uh, chatting with each other.

✓ I'm totally different from my parents. I like to go to the gym to work out, but my parents like to stay at home to read and chat with each other.

Pronoun 'they' is unnecessary after 'my parents'. Use infinitive 'to work out' and 'to stay' for purpose. Use verbs 'read' and 'chat' without articles: 'a reading' is incorrect here. Suggestion: avoid redundant pronouns and use 'to' + verb for activities.

× I prefer to move myself and that they prefer to be peaceful.

✓ I prefer to be active, and they prefer a quieter life.

'Move myself' is unnatural; use 'be active'. 'That they prefer to be peaceful' is awkward; rephrase to 'they prefer a quieter life' or 'they prefer to be peaceful at home'. Ensure parallel structure after 'and'. Suggestion: use natural collocations and keep parallelism in comparisons.