爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your main hobbies, then give one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Avoid filler words (uh, and) and keep to no more than five sentences.

範例: I have several hobbies, including cooking, reading and watching movies. For example, on weekends I often try new recipes; last week I made chapati for the first time and practised rolling and cooking it until it was soft and golden.

建議: Correct vocabulary errors and remove repetition. Use a clear topic sentence mentioning childhood hobbies, then provide a specific supporting detail with a linking word (for example, because). Replace wrong words ("obese") with the intended word ("hobbies").

範例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child, such as swimming, playing football and reading. For example, I still have photos of the swimming competitions I won, which show how much I trained and enjoyed the sport.

建議: Organize your answer into a clear topic sentence and one or two specific details. Avoid unclear phrases and repetitions, and name book titles or authors accurately. Use linking words (for example, currently) to show time sequence.

範例: Yes, reading is a hobby I've had since childhood. Currently I enjoy contemporary African novels; for example, my favourite is This Could Be Us by Kennedy Ray, and at the moment I am reading The High, a recent novel by a Kenyan author.

建議: Be concise and correct minor grammar errors. Give a clear topic sentence and one concrete example of family activities, using linking words (for example, when). Remove repetitions and unclear words ("it help").

範例: Yes, my father, sister and I all enjoy cooking together. For example, when my dad is free on weekends he prepares a family meal and we help with chopping and serving, which helps us bond and creates lasting memories.

× I love cooking, reading books, watching movies and uh and going out mostly when I'm free on weekends I'll try new recipes.

✓ I love cooking, reading books, watching movies and going out. Mostly when I'm free on weekends, I try new recipes.

Run-on sentence and unclear use of tense/participles. Split into two sentences. Use simple present 'I try' for habitual actions instead of 'I'll try' which suggests future; keep gerunds (cooking, reading) as hobbies.

× Like for example last week I tried cooking chapati.

✓ For example, last week I tried cooking chapatis.

Use plural 'chapatis' when referring to the food in general or multiple items. Sentence is past tense and correct, only article/plural adjusted for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I had several obese when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had several hobbies when I was a child.

'Obese' is an adjective meaning overweight and is incorrect here. The intended noun is 'hobbies.' Replace with the correct word to convey meaning.

× I I enjoyed swimming, playing football and and reading.

✓ I enjoyed swimming, playing football and reading.

Remove duplicated words and extra conjunction. The past tense 'enjoyed' correctly describes childhood activities; keep gerunds for the activities.

× For example. I have a lot of memories and photos of me winning in swimming competition.

✓ For example, I have many memories and photos of me winning a swimming competition.

Use 'many' with countable plural 'memories.' Replace 'winning in swimming competition' with 'winning a swimming competition' for correct preposition and article use.

× Yes, that is reading since childhood I've been reading and right now I'm so obsessed with her reading African other books and my favorite book is This could be Us by Kennedy Ray and right now I'm I'm reading the high, a Kenyan book by a Kenyan book.

✓ Yes, I have been reading since childhood. Right now I'm very interested in reading African books. My favorite book is This Could Be Us by Kennedy Ray, and at the moment I'm reading The High, a Kenyan novel.

Original contains tense and word-choice errors, repetitions and unclear phrases. Use present perfect continuous 'have been reading' for an action from past to present. Replace 'obsessed with her reading African other books' with 'very interested in reading African books.' Capitalize titles and correct phrasing for clarity.

× Yes, I share the same hobby with my dad and my sister.

✓ Yes, I share the same hobby with my dad and my sister.

Sentence is correct; keep as is. (No grammatical change needed.)

× We love, we, we love cooking so much.

✓ We love cooking so much.

Remove repeated words and extra commas for fluency and correctness.

× Most of the time when my dad is free on weekends, he will cook for us as a family.

✓ Most of the time when my dad is free on weekends, he cooks for us as a family.

Use simple present 'he cooks' for habitual actions instead of 'he will cook,' which implies future rather than routine.

× And yeah, and we enjoyed it help.

✓ And yeah, we enjoy it; it helps us to bond and create good memories.

Original mixes tenses and has incorrect word forms. Use present tense 'we enjoy' to match the habitual activity and 'it helps' for present effect. Replace 'have good memories' with 'create good memories' for natural phrasing.

× It helps us to bond and have good memories.

✓ It helps us bond and create good memories.

Use simple present for habits. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps' and use parallel verbs 'bond' and 'create' for smoother phrasing.