爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence naming your main hobbies, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “also” or “besides”). Avoid repetition and filler words.

範例: I have several hobbies. My main hobby is singing because I want to become a professional singer and I practice regularly. Besides singing, I enjoy playing cricket and video games, which help me relax after practice.

建議: Good focus on one hobby and details, but reduce hesitation and repetition. Use a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details with linking words (e.g., “so”, “because”, “for example”). Mention time frames or examples to be more specific.

範例: Yes. Singing has been my hobby since childhood because I wanted to become a singer. So I used to rehearse every day, attended music classes for three years, and performed in school events to improve my skills.

建議: Avoid repeating the same content; give one clear sentence then add a different supporting detail (for example, a memorable event or achievement). Use linking words like “also” or “for instance” to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, singing has been my hobby since childhood because I want to be a singer. For instance, I joined a local music school when I was ten and later performed at community festivals, which helped me gain confidence.

建議: Answer directly and use clearer grammar: use singular/plural agreement and concise descriptions. Start with a topic sentence, then give specific examples about each family member using linking words such as “for example” and “while”.

範例: No, we do not share the same hobbies. For example, my father enjoys reading books, while my mother likes cooking and experimenting with new recipes. My brother prefers playing video games such as PUBG, so our interests are quite different.

× There are a number of things that I prefer to do like when I'm free the first and four most is my profession is thingy.

✓ There are a number of things I prefer to do when I'm free; the first and foremost is my profession.

The original sentence has redundant words and unclear structure ('first and four most', 'is my profession is thingy'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Simplify the clause order, remove repetitions, and use the correct idiom 'first and foremost'. Use a semicolon or period to separate ideas.

× This hobby I have have since my childhood because I I want to become a singer.

✓ I have had this hobby since my childhood because I want to become a singer.

The sentence contains repeated words and incorrect tense form. The appropriate expression is present perfect ('have had') to show a continuing hobby from childhood to now. Repeated 'have' and 'I' are mistakes. This falls under present/past participle issues and sentence structure (IDs 6 and 26). Remove duplicates and use 'I have had'.

× Moreover, I also like to be a like to play a lot of video games and cricket and these type of.

✓ Moreover, I also like to play a lot of video games and cricket and those types of activities.

The phrase 'like to be a like to play' is redundant and ungrammatical, and 'these type of' should be 'those types of activities' to match plural. This is a sentence structure and incorrect use of nouns/pronouns (IDs 26 and 12/14). Remove redundancy and use correct plural forms.

× There is just one hobby that is with me since my childhood is singing because I wanna be a singer.

✓ There has been just one hobby with me since my childhood: singing, because I want to be a singer.

Using 'There is' with a time span from childhood is inappropriate; 'There has been' or 'I have had' is better to indicate duration. Also replace colloquial 'wanna' with 'want to'. This is a 'there be' and tense issue (IDs 3 and 6). Use present perfect for ongoing states.

× So, uh, since at that time I, I'm working on it and I, I'm doing a lot of, a lot of rehearsals for it.

✓ So since then, I have been working on it and doing a lot of rehearsals for it.

Mixing 'since at that time' and present progressive 'I'm working' is awkward. Use present perfect continuous ('have been working') to show an action that started in the past and continues to now. This is a present tense/time expression error (ID 6).

× And, uh, I, I joined a lot of classes and got a training about the music.

✓ I joined a lot of classes and received training in music.

'Got a training about the music' is unidiomatic. Use 'received training in music' or 'received musical training'. This is incorrect verb and noun collocation (IDs 9 and 26). Remove repetition and use natural phrasing.

× The hobby that is with me since my childhood is singing because I want to be a singer.

✓ The hobby I have had since my childhood is singing because I want to be a singer.

'That is with me since my childhood' is awkward; use 'I have had since my childhood' (present perfect) to express continuity. This is a 'there be'/'present tense' structure problem (IDs 3 and 6).

× So since that time I'm working on it and like working very hard, joined a lot of classes for it.

✓ Since that time, I have been working on it and working very hard; I have joined many classes for it.

Mixing present progressive with past simple is inconsistent. Use present perfect continuous for ongoing effort and present perfect simple for actions completed within that period ('have joined'). Also use 'many' for countable plural 'classes'. This is a tense consistency error (ID 6).

× So this is the thing that I'm doing since my childhood as a hobby.

✓ So this is the hobby I have been doing since my childhood.

'The thing that I'm doing since my childhood as a hobby' is wordy and awkward. Use concise structure with present perfect continuous to show ongoing activity. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26).

× Oh, I don't think so because every person have a different interest.

✓ Oh, I don't think so because every person has different interests.

'Every person' is singular and requires singular verb 'has'; 'different interest' should be plural 'different interests' for natural expression. This is subject-verb agreement and pluralization error (IDs 27 and 1).

× As my father he always want to read a lot of books and my mother want to be in kitchen, try to make a lot of cuisines.

✓ My father always wants to read a lot of books, and my mother likes to be in the kitchen and try to make many dishes.

Remove redundant subject 'As my father he', use third person singular 'wants', and use 'kitchen' with article 'the'. 'Make a lot of cuisines' is unnatural; use 'make many dishes' or 'cook many dishes'. This covers third person singular, article, and word choice errors (IDs 2, 17, and 13).

× And if I talk about my brother, he's he's always busy in video games like PUBG.

✓ If I talk about my brother, he's always busy playing video games like PUBG.

Use 'busy playing' rather than 'busy in video games'. Also remove duplicate 'he's'. This is a verb form and sentence structure error (IDs 10 and 26).

× So yeah, it's every person have different aspects.

✓ So yeah, every person has different interests.

'It's every person have' is ungrammatical; use 'every person has'. 'Different aspects' is vague; 'different interests' is appropriate. This is subject-verb agreement and word choice error (IDs 27 and 13).