爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and filler words, give a clear topic sentence then 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it under 5 sentences. Mention which instruments and what kind of art to be more specific.

範例: Yes — I am a musician. I play guitar and piano, and I write my own songs for a local band. In addition, I enjoy painting landscapes and experimenting with mixed media, so I spend weekends doing both music and visual art.

建議: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to list hobbies. Remove repetitions and hesitations. Add a brief specific detail for one hobby (e.g., where you collected stones or a memorable moment) to improve content.

範例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. I collected different kinds of stones and built a large collection, and I also enjoyed disco freestyle dancing at school events. Additionally, I played a bit of football with neighborhood friends, which helped me stay active.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence and then give one or two specific supporting details connected with linking words. Avoid uncertain language like “I think”; be confident. Mention an example, such as a childhood memory or what you used to write about.

範例: Music has been a part of my life since childhood. For example, I used to write simple lyrics about my day and sing them into a tape recorder, and later I started performing at school assemblies, which helped me develop my songwriting and singing.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence then contrast family members using linking words like “however” or “on the other hand.” Correct tense and reduce redundancy (e.g., avoid repeating parent labels). Add a specific detail about how you share music with siblings to deepen the response.

範例: Yes and no — my siblings and I share a love of music, but our parents do not. For instance, my brother writes and plays guitar in a band while my sister sings, and we often rehearse together at weekends, whereas our parents prefer non-musical hobbies.

× I, I am a, I'm a musician, so I, I play instruments, I write songs, I play in bands and, uh, I love, I, I love also to paint and do art.

✓ I am a musician, so I play instruments, I write songs, I play in bands, and I also love to paint and make art.

The original sentence contains redundancy and awkward word order rather than a strict grammatical tense error. The phrase 'I love also to paint' is unnatural; the correct placement is 'I also love to paint.' 'Do art' is more naturally expressed as 'make art.' Recommend reducing fillers (repeated 'I') and placing adverbs like 'also' before the verb to improve fluency. Grammar category chosen: Verb in the present participle form (10) because the error relates to verb/adverb placement and verb choice rather than tense.

× When I was a child, I selected stones.

✓ When I was a child, I collected stones.

The verb 'selected' is odd in this context; the usual collocation is 'collect stones' or 'collecting stones.' 'Selected' implies choosing from options rather than keeping a collection. Using 'collected' matches the past habitual action described. Use consistent simple past tense for completed past actions. Grammar category chosen: Past tense issue (5) because the wrong verb choice in past form affects meaning and naturalness.

× I had a big stone collection, uh, collection.

✓ I had a big stone collection.

The sentence repeats the word 'collection,' which is a fluency/repetition error. Removing the duplicate yields a grammatically correct and natural sentence. Keep sentences concise and avoid repeated words. Grammar category chosen: Sentence structure errors (26) because redundancy disrupts sentence structure and fluency.

× And, uh, I did disco freestyle dance and I played a little bit football, yeah.

✓ And I did disco freestyle dancing and I played a little bit of football.

Use the gerund form 'dancing' after 'did' when naming an activity: 'did dancing' or better 'practiced disco freestyle dancing.' Also include 'of' after 'a little bit' when referring to an uncountable noun: 'a little bit of football.' Maintain simple past tense 'played' consistently. Grammar category chosen: Verb + -ing form (8) because the activity name requires the -ing form.

× I always loved writing lyrics and sing out loud with my voice and express myself, so that's a hobby I had since childhood.

✓ I have always loved writing lyrics, singing out loud, and expressing myself, so that's a hobby I have had since childhood.

Mixing past 'loved' with 'that's a hobby I had since childhood' is inconsistent. For a habit continuing from childhood to present, use present perfect: 'have always loved' and 'have had since childhood.' Also maintain parallel verb forms: 'writing,' 'singing,' 'expressing.' Grammar category chosen: Present tense issue (6) because present perfect is required to express a past-to-present situation.

× My brother is also a musician, he played a guitar, he makes songs and a very interesting music and my sister is singing as well.

✓ My brother is also a musician; he plays the guitar, writes songs, and makes very interesting music, and my sister sings as well.

Verb forms referring to habitual or general facts about third-person singular must use the simple present: 'plays,' 'writes,' 'makes,' 'sings.' 'Played a guitar' is past tense and inconsistent with the present descriptions. Use 'the guitar' as the typical collocation. Remove extra articles and correct word order for naturalness. Grammar category chosen: Third person singular issue (2) because verbs describing habitual actions for 'my brother' and 'my sister' require third-person singular present forms.

× Papa, mom and dad, they are not into music at all so only my siblings and I.

✓ My parents are not into music at all, so only my siblings and I are.

'Papa, mom and dad' is redundant and informal; use 'my parents.' The sentence lacks a verb at the end; add 'are' to complete the clause. Also ensure pronoun order and parallelism: 'only my siblings and I are' is correct. Using 'they' after naming subjects is unnecessary and creates a clumsy structure. Grammar category chosen: Incorrect use of pronouns (12) because of redundant naming and missing verb leading to pronoun misuse.