走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答は内容が伝わるが、文法や表現に誤りがあり、冗長です。以下を改善してください：1) 明確なトピック文を最初に置く（例: "Yes, I walk a lot."). 2) 文法を簡潔にし、不要な繰り返しを避ける（"I work after my part-time job"は不明瞭なので正す）。3) 前置詞や語順を直す（"about two kilometres from my house"、"I usually walk home"）。4) リンキングワードを使って理由を繋げる（"because"や"so"）。5) 文は最大5文に保つ。

範例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually walk home because my part-time job is about two kilometres from my house. I work at a private school, so the walk gives me time to relax after work. It normally takes me about 20–30 minutes. Therefore, walking is part of my daily routine.

建議: 答えは理解できるが語彙の誤用（"pray"は不適切）や繰り返し、発話のための詰まり（uh, umm）が目立ちます。改善点：1) 適切な語を使う（"play"や"walk"など）。2) トピック文の後に具体的な頻度や誰と行ったかを明確に述べる。3) 発話の詰まりを減らして流暢さを上げる。4) リンキングワード（"because", "especially"）を自然に使う。

範例: Yes, I did. I often went to a nearby park to play when I was a child. I usually went there with my parents and sisters, about twice a week, especially on weekends. We would play games and sometimes have a picnic, which was always fun.

建議: 良い構成で理由と具体例を述べていますが、語法や語彙を自然に整えるとさらに良くなります。改善点：1) "greens"より"greenery"や"trees and flowers"を使う。2) 表現を簡潔にする（"scenes"より"natural scenery"）。3) 接続表現を滑らかにする（"for example", "so"）。4) 冗長な語を避ける。

範例: I think people enjoy walking in parks because it helps them feel refreshed. For example, parks have plenty of trees, flowers and wildlife like birds and squirrels, so walkers can enjoy natural scenery and fresh air. As a result, walking there feels more relaxing than walking indoors.

建議: 内容が不明瞭で地名や語句の誤りが多く、流暢さも大きく欠けます。改善点：1) 明確な場所名を一度だけ述べる。2) 理由と距離を正しく伝える（"about 20 kilometres"など）。3) 詰まる言葉を減らし、簡潔な文を作る。4) リンキングワードで理由をつなぐ。5) 文は3～4文に収める。

範例: I would like to take a long walk around Bewafa Lake. It is located near my prefecture and has a pleasant route of about 20 kilometres. I imagine walking there would be peaceful because of the lake views and quiet countryside. If I had the chance, I would spend a whole morning exploring the area.

建議: 伝えたい内容は明確ですが、文法と語順の修正が必要です。改善点：1) 自然な表現に直す（"located near my house", "enjoy the greenery and birds"）。2) 時制と語形を整える（"I enjoyed"または現在形で習慣を示す）。3) "after my come school"を正しく表現（"after school"）。4) 文を2～3文で簡潔にまとめる。

範例: I recently went for a walk along the Camel River, which is located near my house. I enjoy the greenery and often see many birds there. I usually walk there for about 20 minutes after school.

× I work when I came back home from my part time job.

✓ I work when I come back home from my part-time job.

The sentence mixes past tense 'came' with present tense 'I work'. Use present simple 'come' to match 'I work' and indicate habitual action. Also use a hyphen in 'part-time' for correct compound adjective. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent for habitual actions: use present simple (I work when I come back).

× I'm working as a part time job in crime school and it is a little far from my house and it is about two kilometres far and I usually walk to come back home.

✓ I work a part-time job at a crime school, and it is a little far from my house, about two kilometres, so I usually walk home.

Use 'work a job' rather than 'working as a job'. Use 'at' for institutions ('at a crime school'). Remove redundant 'far' after distance and place distance phrase correctly. 'Walk to come back home' is awkward; use 'walk home' or 'walk back home'. Also use commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: Simplify and use correct prepositions and word order: 'I work a part-time job at a crime school... so I usually walk home.'

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

The structure 'go outside to have a walk' is unnatural. Use 'go outside for a walk' for idiomatic expression. The tense (past) is correct because the question asks about childhood. Suggestion: Use common collocations like 'go for a walk'.

× I usually went outside to pray in the park.

✓ I usually went outside to play in the park.

The verb 'pray' is likely incorrect in context; 'play' fits childhood walking to the park. If original meant 'pray', keep 'pray' but context indicates 'play'. Tense 'went' is correct for past habitual action. Suggestion: Choose the correct verb: 'play' for recreation, 'pray' only if religious activity is intended.

× There was a park nearby my store, uh, house and I usually went there with my umm, far father and mother and sisters and I usually went there maybe twice a week, especially on weekends.

✓ There was a park near my house, and I usually went there with my father, mother, and sisters, maybe twice a week, especially on weekends.

Use 'near my house' instead of 'nearby my store, house'. 'Nearby' is an adjective or adverb and should not directly modify 'my house' with 'nearby' before a noun without 'was'. 'Far' before 'father' is incorrect. Also use commas to separate items in a list and avoid repetition ('I usually went there' appears twice). Suggestion: Use 'near my house' and list family members with commas; remove fillers like 'umm' and 'far'.

× I think it is because walking in the park helps them feel refreshed.

✓ I think it's because walking in the park helps people feel refreshed.

Original uses 'them' referring to 'people' but in the previous question general 'people' was used; 'people' is clearer. Contraction 'it's' acceptable. No major tense issue. Suggestion: Use consistent referent 'people' in general statements.

× When we walk in the park, there are a lot of greens such as trees and flowers and there are also some animals like birds and like squirrels, so people can enjoy the scenes which can't be enjoyed in inside.

✓ When we walk in the park, there is a lot of greenery, such as trees and flowers, and there are also animals like birds and squirrels, so people can enjoy scenes that can't be enjoyed indoors.

Use 'greenery' or 'green areas' instead of 'greens'. 'There is a lot of greenery' matches uncountable noun. Avoid repeating 'like'. 'Scenes that can't be enjoyed indoors' uses 'indoors' rather than 'in inside'. Also use 'that' for defining clauses. Suggestion: Use correct nouns ('greenery') and 'indoors' for inside buildings; remove duplicate words and use 'that' for relative clauses.

× I would like to take a long walk around Bewafa Lake View Lake uh, it is because Beer Lake locates uh, near my, uh, living prefecture cattle and there is umm, desirable kilometers like 20 kilometers.

✓ I would like to take a long walk around Bewafa Lake because it is located near my prefecture and it is about 20 kilometres away.

Use 'located' not 'locates'. Remove filler words. 'Living prefecture cattle' is incorrect — likely meant 'prefecture' or 'home prefecture'. Use 'about 20 kilometres away' to express distance. 'Desirable kilometers' is incorrect. Suggestion: Say 'it is located near my prefecture' or 'near where I live' and 'about 20 kilometres away'. Keep sentence concise.

× So I think I wanna do.

✓ So I think I want to do that.

Use formal 'want to' rather than colloquial 'wanna' in tests. Add object 'that' to clarify what 'do' refers to. Also keep style appropriate for speaking test. Suggestion: Use 'I want to do that' or 'I'd like to do that'.

× I went for a walk along the Camel River.

✓ I went for a walk along the Camel River.

This sentence is grammatically correct. Past tense 'went' correctly describes a past activity. No change needed. Suggestion: None.

× The Camel River is a river which locates near my house and I can enjoy the greens and some birds there.

✓ The Camel River is a river that is located near my house, and I can enjoy the greenery and the birds there.

Use 'that is located' instead of 'which locates'. 'Greenery' and 'the birds' are more natural. Also use commas for clause separation. Suggestion: Use passive or present simple 'is located' and correct nouns: 'greenery'.

× I enjoy the walk for about 20 minutes after my come school.

✓ I enjoy the walk for about 20 minutes after I come home from school.

'After my come school' is ungrammatical. Use a clause 'after I come home from school' or 'after school'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions: 'I come home from school.' Suggestion: Use standard time clauses: 'after I come home from school' or simply 'after school'.