走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조와 문법을 바로잡고 답변을 더 직접적으로 만들기 위해 토픽 문장 후 이유와 구체적 예시를 하나만 덧붙이세요. 예를 들어 시제, 관사, 전치사, 단수·복수 일치를 고치고 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요. 또한 3~5문장 이내로 간결하게 말하세요.

範例: Yes, I walk a lot because I often work near my home in the evenings. Walking helps me forget daily stress and clear my mind. For example, I usually take a 30-minute walk after my night shift to relax.

建議: 과거 시제 사용과 문장 흐름을 개선하세요. 'I should say no' 대신 간단히 'No'로 시작하고, 반복되는 단어(예: video, video)를 제거하세요. 또한 과거 습관을 표현할 때는 'used to'나 단순 과거를 쓰고 문장을 2~3개로 정리하세요.

範例: No, I didn't often go for walks as a child. I used to prefer watching TV and playing video games. I usually stayed indoors with my friends or family.

建議: 의견을 더 자연스럽고 구체적으로 표현하세요. 'park is the most safe atmosphere'는 어색하므로 'parks are peaceful and safe'처럼 바꾸고, 'working load' 같은 의미가 불분명한 표현을 피하세요. 이유를 두 가지로 나누어 연결어(for example, because)로 정리하세요.

範例: I think people like walking in parks because they are peaceful and feel safe. For example, parks usually have separated paths without cars, and they offer green spaces that help people relax.

建議: 가정형 문장에 맞는 조건문 표현을 사용하거나 단순 미래 의향을 더 자연스럽게 말하세요. 'I like to take' 대신 'I would like to take' 또는 'I like walking'을 쓰고 동명사와 목적어 형태를 정확히 하세요. 이유를 하나 더 추가하면 좋습니다.

範例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the Lichen River near my house. I enjoy watching the river scenery and listening to the water because it helps me relax.

建議: 과거 시제와 대상 명칭을 정확히 말하고, 중복 표현(stressful stress, went them there)을 제거하세요. 이유를 간결하게 표현하고 한두 문장으로 정리하세요. 장소 이름을 확실히 발음하거나 설명을 덧붙이세요.

範例: Recently I went to a river called Wichen to relax. I had been feeling stressed while preparing for the IELTS test, so I walked there to clear my mind.

× I should say yes, I work every night.

✓ I would say yes; I work every night.

'Should' is used for advice or obligation; here the speaker is expressing a response/opinion, so 'would' or 'I think' is more natural. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect clauses.

× When I work in a near my home I can forget every stressful things so I prefer work a lot.

✓ When I work near my home I can forget stressful things, so I prefer to work a lot.

Remove the incorrect article 'a' before 'near'. 'Near my home' does not need 'in'. Use plural 'stressful things' without 'every' or use 'every' with singular countable noun; here 'stressful things' is fine. After 'prefer' use the infinitive 'to work' or the gerund 'working'. Add punctuation for clarity.

× I should say no. When I was young I preferred to watch video, video or television and playing games rather than walk.

✓ I would say no. When I was young I preferred watching videos or television and playing games rather than walking.

Use 'would' instead of 'should' for giving an answer. After 'preferred' use the gerund form 'watching' and 'playing' for parallel structure. Use plural 'videos' and 'walking' to match gerund form.

× So I do not. I do does not often.

✓ So I did not. I did not go often.

The sentence is referring to past habits ('When I was young'), so use past tense 'did not'. 'Do does not' is ungrammatical; use 'did not go often' or 'I did not often go'.

× I think because park is the most safe atmosphere.

✓ I think it's because parks have the safest atmosphere.

Use the article 'the' with a specific 'park' ('the park') or plural 'parks' for general statements. 'Most safe' should be 'safest' (superlative). 'Atmosphere' collocates with adjectives like 'safe' but better to say 'safer atmosphere' or 'the safest environment'.

× For example there are no cars and it is convenient because it has working load.

✓ For example, there are no cars, and it is convenient because it has light traffic.

'Working load' is incorrect here; 'traffic' or 'few vehicles' conveys the meaning. 'Light traffic' is a common collocation. Add commas for readability.

× I like to take a long walk near the river called Lichen because it is located near my house and I like to watching river scenery.

✓ I like to take a long walk near the river called Lichen because it is near my house and I like watching the river scenery.

After 'like' use either 'to watch' or the gerund 'watching' consistently; 'to watching' is incorrect. 'Located' is fine but redundant with 'near my house'; add 'the' before 'river scenery' for specificity.

× Recently I went to the liver called Wichen actually because I had some stressful stress about preparing IELTS test, so I went them there to forget the stressful things.

✓ Recently I went to the river called Wichen because I was stressed about preparing for the IELTS test, so I went there to forget my worries.

Correct 'liver' to 'river'. Use past continuous or simple past 'was stressed' for state. 'Stressful stress' is redundant; use 'was stressed' or 'had some stress'. Use 'for the IELTS test' (preposition 'for'). 'Went them there' is incorrect; use 'went there'. Replace 'stressful things' with 'worries' for natural phrasing.