走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), and limit to 2–4 sentences. Correct tense and article usage (e.g., 'a busy and stressful day' -> 'a busy, stressful day'). Add a brief reason or example using a linking word.

範例: Yes, I walk a lot. I prefer walking to taking public transport because it helps me relax after a busy, stressful day. For example, I often work outdoors for an hour each afternoon and find it clears my mind.

建議: Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific activities you did at home, using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Correct verb forms (e.g., 'painting' -> 'paint' or 'I painted').

範例: Not really — I rarely went for walks as a child because I was busy with homework and after-school classes. Instead, I often stayed home to read, paint, or sing, which I found enjoyable.

建議: Fix word choice and streamline structure. Use 'walk' not 'work', avoid fillers, and group reasons with linking words (firstly, secondly, finally). Give specific examples of activities and benefits.

範例: People like walking in parks for several reasons. Firstly, parks are relaxing; secondly, they are good for exercise such as jogging or yoga; finally, parents can spend quality time with their children outdoors.

建議: Minor grammar corrections and more concise phrasing. Use articles and complete sentences (e.g., 'the forest is full of...'). Add a brief sensory detail or reason to strengthen the image.

範例: I'd like to take a long walk in a forest because the trees, flowers, and fresh air help me relax and feel healthier. I imagine walking along a shaded trail listening to birdsong.

建議: Tighten phrasing and correct small errors: 'spend there almost two hours' -> 'spend almost two hours there'. Start with a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail about the park to make the answer more vivid.

範例: Recently I walked in a peaceful park near my home. Because it was a warm, beautiful day I spent almost two hours there enjoying the quiet paths and the small pond, which felt very calming.

× Yes I do, I prefer walking around over getting public transportation.

✓ Yes, I do. I prefer walking around to taking public transportation.

Use 'prefer A to B' when comparing two activities; 'getting public transportation' is less natural than 'taking public transportation'. Also add a comma after 'Yes' and separate into two sentences for clarity.

× And uh, I made it a habit to spend some time outside and work for a few hours at least every single day, so it helps me to relax after busy and stressful day.

✓ I have made it a habit to spend some time outside and work for a few hours at least every single day, so it helps me relax after a busy and stressful day.

Use present perfect 'have made' to indicate a habitual action continuing to the present. Add indefinite article 'a' before 'busy and stressful day'. Remove 'to' before 'relax' after 'helps me' (helps + object + base verb). Also remove filler 'And uh' and streamline punctuation.

× Honestly, I didn't go outside frequently as a child because I was always busy with my homework, home tasks and after school classes.

✓ Honestly, I didn't go outside frequently as a child because I was always busy with my homework, household chores, and after-school classes.

The main verb tense is correct (past). Change 'home tasks' to 'household chores' and add hyphen in 'after-school' for correct compound adjective. Include comma before 'and' for clarity.

× So, uh, I prefer to stay at home and uh, read a book or painting or singing a song.

✓ So, I preferred to stay at home and read a book, paint, or sing a song.

Because the context is childhood (past), shift 'prefer' to past 'preferred'. Coordinate verbs should share the same form: use base verbs 'read', 'paint', 'sing' rather than mixing 'painting' and 'singing'. Remove filler 'uh' and add commas.

× It was fun and I prefer to stay.

✓ It was fun, and I preferred to stay.

Maintain past tense consistency when talking about childhood: change 'prefer' to 'preferred'. Add comma to join clauses.

× I believe people like to work in parks for a number of reasons.

✓ I believe people like to walk in parks for a number of reasons.

Context asks why people like to walk in parks; 'work in parks' is incorrect choice of verb. Use 'walk' not a preposition error but lexical error—treated as preposition/word choice here.

× Firstly, uh, it's just for relaxation.

✓ Firstly, it's just for relaxation.

Remove filler 'uh'. Sentence is acceptable otherwise; keep concise.

× Another reason is for doing sport like jogging or umm, other activities.

✓ Another reason is to do sports like jogging or other activities.

Use 'to do sports' or 'for doing sports' — 'to do sports' is more natural. Use plural 'sports' and drop filler 'umm'.

× And uh, another reason to spend time with the children outside, which is fun.

✓ Another reason is to spend time outside with children, which is fun.

Add missing main verb 'is' and reorder phrase for natural English: 'spend time outside with children'. Remove article 'the' before 'children' unless referring to specific children.

× If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk in a forest.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk in a forest.

Sentence is acceptable; 'a forest' is correct when speaking generally. No change needed. (Included for completeness.)

× I believe that the forest full of greenery and trees and flowers.

✓ I believe that the forest is full of greenery, trees, and flowers.

Missing verb 'is' required to complete the clause. Add commas to separate items in a list.

× They help us to stay relaxed, to stay healthy and just unwind.

✓ They help us stay relaxed, stay healthy, and just unwind.

Remove redundant 'to' after 'help' and parallelize verbs. Use commas for list and keep consistent verb forms.

× Recently I went for a walk in a peaceful park which is not so far from my home.

✓ Recently, I went for a walk in a peaceful park that is not far from my home.

Add comma after 'Recently'. Use 'that' for defining relative clause and 'not far' is more natural than 'not so far'. Tense is fine.

× Since it was a warm and beautiful day, I decided to spend there almost two hours and I love this park because it offers a sense of tranquility and health.

✓ Since it was a warm and beautiful day, I decided to spend almost two hours there, and I love this park because it offers a sense of tranquility and wellbeing.

Place 'there' after 'spend almost two hours'. Use a comma before 'and'. Replace 'health' with 'wellbeing' for natural collocation. Maintain past tense for decision but present for general opinion 'I love' is acceptable.