走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid filler words like 'honestly' and 'really'. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use a linking phrase to connect ideas and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'incorporate' for include, 'simple form of exercise' instead of 'easy form').

範例: I don't walk a huge amount, but I typically get about 8,000 to 10,000 steps a day. I incorporate short walks into my commute and breaks, which helps me stay fit because walking is a simple, equipment-free way to exercise.

建議: Remove hesitation words like 'uh' and redundant phrases. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example and a brief comparison to now using a linking word. Use past-tense consistency and more precise vocabulary.

範例: Yes, I walked outdoors frequently as a child. For example, whenever my family visited a temple or a garden, we would walk there together, which is more often than I walk nowadays.

建議: Organize the answer: state one clear reason, then expand with a specific detail. Fix grammar (e.g., 'proper lanes' and remove 'for Lim for so much'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' and avoid vague phrasing.

範例: People prefer walking in parks because they are safer and quieter than roads. For example, parks have dedicated walking paths away from traffic, so you can walk continuously and enjoy the surroundings without worrying about cars.

建議: Start with a direct answer naming the place, then give two specific reasons. Avoid repetition ('that that', 'long huge track') and use precise adjectives and linking words (e.g., 'because', 'also').

範例: I would like to take a long walk in Stanley Park in Vancouver. It has extensive seaside trails and scenic views, so I could enjoy nature and panoramic vistas while getting good exercise.

建議: Answer directly and briefly, then provide a clear example. Remove fillers ('honestly', 'like') and improve sentence structure. Use past simple or present perfect consistently and choose concise phrasing.

範例: I haven't been on any special walks recently. Most of my walking comes from my job at a fast-food restaurant, where I frequently move between the front counter and the kitchen to fetch food.

× Honestly not a huge amount but I do work regularly, about 8 to 10,000 steps a day.

✓ Honestly, not a huge amount, but I do walk regularly, about 8,000 to 10,000 steps a day.

The original mixes verb choice and number format; 'work regularly' is wrong in context (question asks walking), so use 'walk regularly' (verb choice and clarity). Also place commas properly and format numbers consistently. Suggestion: place a comma after 'Honestly' and write '8,000 to 10,000' for clarity.

× We often walk a lot in my childhood, uh, as compared to these days.

✓ We often walked a lot in my childhood compared to these days.

The phrase refers to past habitual action, so use past tense 'walked' not present 'walk'. Also remove extra filler 'uh' and redundant 'as'. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits and streamline comparison.

× For example, whenever we were going with our parents to go to a temple or a garden, we used to walk.

✓ For example, whenever we went with our parents to a temple or a garden, we used to walk.

Use simple past 'went' rather than 'were going' for habitual past actions. 'Used to' already indicates habitual past, so match tense. Suggestion: use consistent past simple for past routines.

× I feel that's more convenient to walk there as if you're walking on the road because of the traffic, the cars, it doesn't feel easy walking there.

✓ I feel it's more convenient to walk in parks than on the road because of traffic and cars; it doesn't feel easy to walk there.

Problems: 'that's' unclear, article and preposition use ('in parks' vs 'there'), redundant commas, and awkward phrase 'it doesn't feel easy walking there.' Correct comparison structure 'more convenient to walk in parks than on the road' and remove unnecessary articles. Suggestion: restructure sentence for parallel comparison and use infinitive 'to walk' after 'feel'.

× But in parks we have a proper lanes that helps us to keep walking for Lim for so much.

✓ But in parks we have proper lanes that help us keep walking for long periods.

Original has plural/singular mismatch ('a proper lanes' incorrect) and verb agreement ('lanes that helps' should be 'lanes that help'). 'for Lim for so much' is likely intended as 'for long periods.' Suggestion: ensure noun and article agree and verb agrees with plural subject; use clear time expression.

× So in Canada, where I live, we have a Stanley Park that that park has covered a miles of area and has a long huge track of walking.

✓ So in Canada, where I live, we have Stanley Park; it covers many miles and has a very long walking track.

Errors: unnecessary definite article 'a' before 'Stanley Park' and duplicated 'that that park has'; 'a miles' incorrect number/article use; awkward adjective order 'long huge' should be 'very long' or 'huge'—avoid stacking incompatible adjectives. Suggestion: use 'Stanley Park' without 'a', correct verb 'covers', and use 'many miles' or specific measurement.

× I feel that would be more pleasant for me walking there and I would be able to see the views around.

✓ I feel it would be more pleasant for me to walk there, and I would be able to see the surrounding views.

Use infinitive 'to walk' after 'pleasant for me' rather than gerund 'walking' in this structure. Also 'views around' is awkward; use 'surrounding views.' Suggestion: choose correct verb form after adjectives and use appropriate noun phrase.

× Honestly not a typical place that I have gone for a special walk, but as I work in a fast food restaurant so we have to keep walking from here to there.

✓ Honestly, I haven't gone to any special place for a walk lately, but since I work in a fast food restaurant, I have to keep walking from one place to another.

Original mixes tenses and uses awkward articles; 'not a typical place that I have gone' is ungrammatical. Use present perfect negative 'I haven't gone to any special place lately.' Use 'since' for reason rather than 'but as ... so' and idiomatic phrase 'from one place to another.' Suggestion: simplify and use correct auxiliary for negative present perfect.

× For instance, like sometimes I'm working at front then I have to go all the way to the cooler to bring some chicken or food.

✓ For instance, sometimes I'm working at the front, and I have to go all the way to the cooler to get some chicken or other food.

Use article 'the front' and connect clauses with 'and'; 'bring' is less appropriate than 'get' in this context. Ensure tense consistency: present continuous 'I'm working' with habitual meaning is okay but 'sometimes I work at the front' is also acceptable. Suggestion: choose consistent tense and appropriate verbs for actions.

× So I'm walking that kind of thing these days.

✓ So that's the kind of walking I do these days.

Original is informal and ungrammatical ('walking that kind of thing'). Rephrase to a clear subject 'that's the kind of walking I do' and place time expression 'these days' at the end. Suggestion: rephrase vague colloquial expressions into standard structures.