走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 응답은 직접적이나 문법과 표현에 오류가 있고 중복이 있어 이해에 방해가 됩니다. 문장을 간결하게 하고 시제·관사(the/a) 사용을 바로잡으세요. 또한 linking phrase(For example, As a result)를 넣어 이유와 결과를 명확히 연결하세요. 구체적으로는 'I work at a factory, so I walk a lot around the workplace, which is good for my health'처럼 주제문 + 이유 + 결과 구조로 말하세요.

範例: Yes, I walk a lot because I work at a factory and move around the workplace frequently. As a result, I get regular exercise and feel healthier.

建議: 응답은 과거 습관을 말하려는 의도는 분명하지만 문법(과거형, 동명사/분사)과 어순이 어색합니다. 반복 표현을 줄이고 구체적 사례(얼마나 자주, 누구와)를 덧붙이면 더 설득력 있습니다. 예: 'I rarely went outside because I spent most afternoons playing computer games, which made my mother worried.'

範例: Not really. When I was a child I rarely went outside because I spent most afternoons playing computer games, and that often made my mother worried.

建議: 응답은 개인적 이유를 말하려 했지만 문장이 길고 문법·구조가 불분명합니다. 먼저 일반적 이유 한 문장, 이어서 개인적 예시 한 문장으로 구성하세요. 연결어(For example, Also, So)를 사용해 흐름을 매끄럽게 하세요. 예: 'People like parks because they offer fresh air and relaxation. For example, my family walks there to talk and unwind together.'

範例: People like to walk in parks because they provide fresh air and a relaxing atmosphere. For example, my family often walks in a nearby park to talk about our day and relax together.

建議: 의도는 분명하지만 지명과 설명이 혼란스럽고 시제·조동사 사용이 일관되지 않습니다. 목적지 소개 → 이유 → 활동 순으로 간결하게 말하세요. 구체적 활동(예: hiking, cycling)과 감정을 덧붙이면 좋습니다. 예: 'I'd like to visit Bamboo National Park because it's famous for scenery, and I would hike and cycle there with my family.'

範例: I'd like to visit Bamboo National Park because many people say it's very beautiful. If I had the chance, I would hike and cycle there with my family and enjoy the scenery.

建議: 과거 시제 사용이 필요합니다('went' 등). 장소와 빈도를 간결히 말하고, 구체적 세부(어떤 활동, 누구와)를 추가하면 답이 개선됩니다. 예문 구조: 'A couple of days ago, my family and I went to La Paz Lake, where we usually walk after dinner.'

範例: A couple of days ago my family and I went to a nearby park called La Paz Lake. We often go there for a walk after dinner.

× I work a lot when I'm working in factory.

✓ I work a lot when I'm working in a factory.

Use 'a' before singular countable nouns. Add article 'a' before 'factory' to be grammatically correct. Suggestion: use 'in a factory' or 'at a factory'.

× I can work all around the factory, so I think it makes me much better for my health.

✓ I can work all around the factory, so I think it is much better for my health.

The verb 'make' is incorrect in this passive-like structure. Use 'it is better for my health' to describe a general effect. Also 'much better for my health' is correct phrase order. Suggestion: use 'it helps my health' or 'it is better for my health'.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

This sentence is grammatically correct in past tense question form. No correction needed. Explanation: 'Did you' + base verb 'go' is correct for past habitual questions.

× I don't think so.

✓ I don't think so.

This sentence is correct as a short negation answer. No correction needed. Explanation: 'I don't think so' appropriately negates the previous question.

× When I was young, I was very like a computer game.

✓ When I was young, I liked computer games a lot.

Use the verb 'like' with correct tense and object: 'I liked computer games' rather than 'I was very like a computer game'. Also pluralize 'computer games' for general hobby. Suggestion: 'I liked playing computer games a lot.'

× So I remember I always sitting down, sitting down and play the game.

✓ So I remember I was always sitting down, sitting and playing games.

After 'remember' recounting past habit, use past continuous 'was sitting' or 'used to sit'. Also make parallel verbs consistent: 'sitting and playing'. Use plural 'games' for generality. Suggestion: 'I remember I used to sit and play games.'

× So my mother was very angry.

✓ So my mother was very angry.

Sentence is correct. 'Was' correctly indicates past tense emotion. No change needed.

× In my case, my family often go for a walk in nearby park when you for the work talking about the many topic and take a rest it make it makes me our family be happy.

✓ In my case, my family often go for a walk in the nearby park to talk about many topics and relax; it makes our family happy.

Multiple issues: missing definite article 'the' before 'nearby park', incorrect pronoun 'you', wrong verb forms 'talking' and 'take', wrong word order and extra words. Use 'talk about many topics and relax' and 'it makes our family happy'. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'my family often go' could be 'my family often go' (British) or 'my family often goes' (American). Suggestion: choose one variety consistently.

× I would like to go to Bamboo National Park.

✓ I would like to go to Bamboo National Park.

Sentence is correct as a conditional polite wish. No change needed.

× Many people told me Pampu is one of the most beautiful place all over the world.

✓ Many people told me Pampu is one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Use plural 'places' with 'one of the', and use 'in the world' instead of 'all over the world'. Article 'the' before 'world' is required. Suggestion: 'one of the most beautiful places in the world.'

× So I wanna go there and we'd enjoy.

✓ So I want to go there and enjoy it with my family.

Informal 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal speech. 'We'd enjoy' is incomplete; specify what 'we' would enjoy and use full phrase 'enjoy it with my family.' Suggestion: 'I want to go there and enjoy it with my family.'

× I enjoy the ride, the bike with my family.

✓ I would enjoy riding a bike with my family.

Use gerund 'riding' or infinitive construction after 'enjoy' requires gerund. 'The ride, the bike' is awkward; 'riding a bike' is the natural phrase. Suggestion: 'I enjoy riding a bike with my family.' or 'I would enjoy riding a bike with my family.'

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk recently?

'Lately' is acceptable, but 'recently' is more natural in questions about past actions. Both are grammatically correct. No major correction required.

× A couple of days ago my family go for work nearby park that that park name is La Paz Lake.

✓ A couple of days ago my family went to a nearby park for work; the park's name is La Paz Lake.

Use past tense 'went' not 'go'. Add article 'a' before 'nearby park'. Rearrange clause to 'the park's name is La Paz Lake' or 'the park is called La Paz Lake.' Suggestion: 'A couple of days ago my family went to a nearby park for work. The park is called La Paz Lake.'

× We often go for a walk after dinner.

✓ We often go for a walk after dinner.

This sentence is correct in present habitual tense. No correction needed. Explanation: 'We often go' correctly expresses habitual action.