建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammatical accuracy and fluency: remove extra words, fix articles and verb forms, and make sentences more concise. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example", "so"). Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "capture" instead of "take photo of", "distinctive" instead of "unusual"). Aim for 2–4 sentences, each grammatically correct.

範例: I do, but only of buildings that catch my eye. For example, I often capture distinctive or historical buildings because their architecture is interesting and tells a story. I usually share the photos with friends to show them what I’ve seen and to remember the visit.

建議: Be clearer and more coherent: start with a direct topic sentence naming a specific building you want to visit, then give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "raise our knowledge" and "second hand experience"; instead say "learn about history" or "gain insight into the past." Keep sentences concise and check grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement, articles).

範例: Yes. I would most like to visit the Colosseum in Rome because it is an iconic historical site. Visiting it would help me learn about ancient Roman life and see the architecture up close, which textbooks cannot fully convey.

× It really depends on the building it.

✓ It really depends on the building.

Redundant pronoun 'it' makes the sentence ungrammatical and causes a sentence structure error. Remove the extra 'it' to make a correct subject-complement structure: 'It depends on the building.' Keep 'It really depends on the building.' for emphasis.

× If they have a unusual structure and they grab attention, I like to take photo of.

✓ If it has an unusual structure and grabs attention, I like to take a photo of it.

Mismatch between plural 'they' and singular 'building' and missing third person singular verb endings. Use singular pronoun 'it' for 'the building' and add -s to verbs in present simple (has, grabs). Also add the article 'a' before 'photo' and include the object 'it' to complete the phrasal verb 'take a photo of.'

× If they have a unusual structure and they grab attention, I like to take photo of.

✓ If it has an unusual structure and grabs attention, I like to take a photo of it.

Missing article 'a' before 'photo' is an article error. Use 'a photo' because 'photo' is a countable singular noun here.

× When we go to historical sites and visit historical buildings, I like to take photo of them and share with others to raise their information, produce a vibrant atmosphere and I can raise my knowledge about.

✓ When we go to historical sites and visit historical buildings, I like to take photos of them and share them with others to increase their knowledge, create a vibrant atmosphere, and improve my own knowledge.

Multiple issues: 'take photo' needs plural 'photos' when generalizing and article use; missing object after 'share' requires 'them'; 'raise their information' is incorrect collocation — use 'increase their knowledge'; awkward 'raise my knowledge about' should be 'improve my own knowledge.' These are incorrect pronoun use, article errors, and poor word choice. Use plural and include proper objects for verbs.

× When we go to historical sites and visit historical buildings, I like to take photo of them and share with others to raise their information, produce a vibrant atmosphere and I can raise my knowledge about.

✓ When we go to historical sites and visit historical buildings, I like to take photos of them and share them with others to increase their knowledge, create a vibrant atmosphere, and improve my own knowledge.

Countable noun 'photo' should be plural 'photos' when speaking generally. Also coordinate verbs consistently: 'take photos', 'share them', 'increase their knowledge'.

× Yes, there are lots of buildings.

✓ Yes, there are many buildings I would like to visit.

Sentence is grammatically correct but incomplete in context. To directly answer the question about a building the student would like to visit, expand to 'many buildings I would like to visit' for clear meaning and correct sentence structure.

× I would like to visit them around the world.

✓ I would like to visit them all around the world.

The pronoun 'them' needs clarification and the phrase 'around the world' is more natural with 'all around the world.' Add 'all' for idiomatic expression.

× I like to visit historical buildings because I believe that we can raise our knowledge.

✓ I like to visit historical buildings because I believe that we can increase our knowledge.

Verb choice 'raise' is incorrect collocation with 'knowledge.' Use 'increase' or 'expand' with 'knowledge' in present tense contexts.

× The historical events when we go there, they had lots of guidance to raise our information.

✓ At those historical sites, there is often a lot of guidance about the historical events to help increase our knowledge.

Original mixes tenses and has awkward structure. Use present tense 'is often' or 'there are' for general statements about sites. 'Had lots of guidance' (past) does not fit 'when we go there' (present). Also 'raise our information' is incorrect collocation; use 'help increase our knowledge.' This fixes tense consistency and wording.

× So I can get second hand experience history, repeated self.

✓ So I can get a second-hand experience of history and repeat it to myself.

The original is ungrammatical and unclear. Add articles 'a' and hyphenate 'second-hand.' Include preposition 'of' after 'experience' and clarify 'repeat it to myself' for intended meaning. This resolves sentence structure errors.

× So it prevents lots of I believe that it prevents.

✓ I believe this helps prevent many misunderstandings.

Original is fragmented and repetitive. Provide a clear, complete sentence that expresses intent: 'I believe this helps prevent many misunderstandings.' This fixes sentence structure and coherence.