建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, um), correct grammar (storey → storeys/stories), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Add a specific detail to support your statement using a linking phrase.

範例: Yes. I live in Singapore, so there are many tall buildings nearby. For example, most residential blocks have about 12 to 13 storeys, which makes the skyline quite dense.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, correct awkward phrasing, remove repetitions and fillers, and explain reasons briefly using linking words (because, but). Be specific about when and why you stopped taking photos.

範例: Not anymore. I used to take photos of buildings when I first arrived because everything seemed new, but after I adapted to life here, I lost interest and rarely take pictures now.

建議: Provide a clear, concise answer with fewer fillers and one or two specific reasons. Use linking words (because, for example) and correct phrasing (e.g., 'at the top of the mall' or 'in the City Hall area'). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the City Hall Mall. It is near the City Hall area and I want to go because there are many rooftop restaurants and a good view of the city.

× Yes, I live in Singapore so everywhere I see there are a lot of tall buildings like uh that have 12 or 13 Storey at least.

✓ Yes, I live in Singapore, so everywhere I look there are a lot of tall buildings that have at least 12 or 13 storeys.

The original has plural/singular and word-choice issues: 'everywhere I see' is non-idiomatic; use 'everywhere I look'. 'that have 12 or 13 Storey' mixes plural meaning with singular 'Storey' and incorrect capitalization. 'Storey' should be lowercase and pluralized to 'storeys' (or 'stories' in American English). Also remove extraneous filler words. Suggestion: use 'at least 12 or 13 storeys' for correct plural agreement and natural phrasing.

× I'm not really. When I first came here, I used to take, I used to take care of them. But umm, when I adapt this living style, I don't.

✓ Not really. When I first came here, I used to take photos of them, but when I adapted to this lifestyle, I stopped.

Multiple errors: sentence fragments and article issues. Start with 'Not really' instead of 'I'm not really'. 'I used to take, I used to take care of them' is unclear—likely intended 'take photos of them'. 'Adapt this living style' is incorrect; the verb 'adapt' should be 'adapted to' and 'living style' is better as the single word 'lifestyle'. Tense should be past ('adapted') to match 'When I first came here'. Use 'stopped' to show change. Suggestions: use concise, complete sentences and correct preposition 'adapted to'.

× MMM, I would like to visit the City Hall, uh, more the City Hall mall at the top. I mean like, umm, that building is near the City Hall center. Uh, so I would like to visit there because there are a lot of umm, uh, restaurants over the buildings.

✓ I would like to visit City Hall, especially the mall at the top. That building is near City Hall, so I would like to visit because there are many restaurants in the building.

The original contains disfluent fillers and awkward structure ('more the City Hall mall at the top', 'City Hall center', 'restaurants over the buildings'). Use 'especially' to show emphasis. 'City Hall center' is redundant—use 'City Hall' or 'City Hall area'. 'Restaurants over the buildings' is incorrect; use 'restaurants in the building' or 'in the mall'. Also replace 'a lot of' with 'many' for conciseness. Suggestions: remove fillers, use clear connectors, and correct prepositions ('in the building').