建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief detail), then add one specific supporting detail about when or why the area changed. Use correct tense and simpler, precise vocabulary. Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid redundancy.

範例: Yes. There are several tall buildings near my home now. When I was a child the area mostly had low-rise buildings, but in the last ten years many modern high-rises were built because of new construction technology and increased demand.

建議: Answer directly and avoid filler words. Give one or two specific reasons and use correct expressions (e.g., “take pictures of buildings” rather than “picture of birthday”). Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to connect ideas. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings, especially when I travel abroad, because I enjoy different architectural styles. For example, I photographed old temples in Kyoto to study how architecture reflects local culture and history.

建議: Be clear about what building you mean and why you want to visit. Use a clear topic sentence naming the place, then one or two specific reasons (location, atmosphere, activities). Fix grammar (e.g., ‘boarding’ → ‘building’ or ‘boarder’), avoid repetition, and keep under 3 sentences.

範例: Yes. I would like to visit an old coffeehouse in the city center that I often pass by. After long workdays I go there because it is quiet and comfortable, so I can relax and read, which makes it feel like a small retreat.

× but when I was child there was only small, also just international short buildings.

✓ but when I was a child there were only small, mostly low international-style buildings.

The word 'child' needs the article 'a' (singular noun). 'There was' should be 'there were' to agree with plural 'buildings'. 'small' should modify 'buildings' and 'short' is better replaced with 'low' for buildings; 'international short buildings' is not natural, so rephrase as 'low international-style buildings'. Suggestion: add articles for singular nouns and use plural verb forms for plural nouns, and choose appropriate adjectives.

× But since the advanced technology in terms of construction, they made lot of.

✓ But since advances in construction technology, many have been built.

The original uses 'they made lot of' which is ungrammatical. Use passive past participle 'have been built' to indicate many buildings were constructed. Also 'advanced technology' should be 'advances in construction technology' and 'a lot of' must be followed by a noun; here 'many' replaces 'a lot of' and refers to buildings. Suggestion: use proper passive construction with past participle and ensure quantifiers are followed by nouns or replaced by 'many'.

× Gotcha, yes I do uh, especially when I travel to another country, I would like to take a picture of birthday because I enjoy the photographing different uh, construction styles.

✓ Yes, I do. Especially when I travel to another country, I like to take pictures because I enjoy photographing different construction styles.

Problems: 'would like' is awkward when describing habitual past/present preference—use 'like to' for habitual action. 'a picture of birthday' is incorrect and unclear; likely meant 'pictures' of buildings, so changed to 'take pictures'. 'the photographing different' is wrong word order and article use; use gerund 'photographing' with no 'the' and adjective order 'different construction styles'. Also plural 'pictures' matches habit. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual actions and correct noun phrases and gerund usage.

× Also, it shows me how to keep uh, how to affect their culture and history.

✓ Also, it shows me how they reflect their culture and history.

The phrase 'how to keep how to affect' is ungrammatical. Buildings do not 'keep' or 'affect' culture in this context; they 'reflect' or 'show' culture and history. Use 'they reflect' to refer to buildings. Suggestion: choose verbs that correctly express the intended relationship between buildings and culture, and ensure pronoun referents match ('they' for buildings).

× Yes, there is one boarding that's still located in Center City center, mostly named old coffee shop.

✓ Yes, there is one building still located in the city center, called the Old Coffee Shop.

'boarding' is incorrect; should be 'building'. 'Center City center' is redundant; use 'city center'. Use 'called' to introduce the name and include the definite article 'the' for a specific place name. Suggestion: choose correct nouns and avoid redundant phrases; use 'called' or 'named' with proper articles.

× After long hours of my working time, I always developed there in order to to feel comfortable and relaxation.

✓ After long working hours, I always go there to feel comfortable and relaxed.

'developed there' is incorrect verb choice and tense; use 'go there' for habitual action. 'After long hours of my working time' is awkward; 'after long working hours' is concise. 'to feel comfortable and relaxation' mixes verb and noun; use parallel adjectives 'comfortable and relaxed'. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual actions, choose appropriate verbs, and keep parallel structure for adjectives.

× Especially there is quiet which which is one of all of my meditation that's why.

✓ It is especially quiet there, which is one reason I meditate there.

Word order and articles are incorrect. 'Especially there is quiet' should be 'It is especially quiet there'. Duplicate 'which which' removed. 'one of all of my meditation' is ungrammatical; rephrase as 'one reason I meditate there'. Suggestion: place adverb/adjective in natural order, remove repetitions, and use clear noun phrases like 'one reason'.