建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence about your current home, then briefly contrast it with past experiences. Reduce fillers (uh, umm) and avoid repetition. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (However, In contrast, For example).

範例: No, there aren't many tall buildings near my current home. However, I lived in Houston and Mexico City before, where downtown areas had many skyscrapers, so I was used to a more urban skyline.

建議: Answer directly and clearly with a topic sentence, then give specific examples. Avoid hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., "I don't" not "I don't it"). Use linking words if you add details (For example, Instead, I usually...).

範例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings. Instead, I prefer photographing small places I enjoy, such as cozy cafés or interesting street scenes, because they feel more personal to me.

建議: Be concise and combine related points with linking words. Use correct pronouns and reduce repetitions. Provide one specific reason why you want to visit and mention plans briefly.

範例: Yes, I'd love to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because I'm fascinated by its history and views. In fact, my husband and I are planning a holiday there in a few months, and we also hope to see some famous buildings in New York afterwards.

建議: Start with a clear preference sentence, then provide two concise reasons using linking words (because, although). Fix grammar ("I have had good experiences"; "my husband and I are planning to"). Keep to 2–3 supporting sentences.

範例: I prefer living in a house rather than a tall building because I value privacy and more space. Although I have had good experiences living in apartments with friendly neighbors and lower costs, my husband and I are planning to move into a larger house in the future.

× No, we don't have uh, many tall buildings near my home, but I was living in Houston in the United States and there there are many, many buildings and umm in downtown.

✓ No, we don't have many tall buildings near my home, but I lived in Houston in the United States and there were many buildings in downtown.

The sentence mixes present and past contexts and uses 'was living' where simple past 'lived' or past continuous could be used; also 'there there' is duplicated. Use plural 'buildings' correctly and match verb tense: 'lived' and 'were' to describe past situation. Remove redundant words. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense when describing a past residence: 'I lived in Houston and there were many buildings downtown.'

× We also saw many buildings there and it's a big city.

✓ We also saw many buildings there, and it was a big city.

The speaker refers to a past experience ('saw'), so the comment about the city should also be in past tense ('was') to maintain tense consistency. Use past tense for descriptions of past situations.

× Additionally, umm, I was living in Mexico City and there are many too.

✓ Additionally, I lived in Mexico City, and there were many there too.

Again, describing a past residence requires past tense. Replace 'was living' with 'lived' or 'was living' consistently and change 'are' to 'were' to match past timeframe.

× I haven't had the opportunity to see many buildings, but I usually take pictures of things that I like it that like, I don't know cafeterias or places like that.

✓ I haven't had the opportunity to see many famous buildings, but I usually take pictures of things that I like, such as cafeterias or similar places.

Remove the redundant pronoun 'it' and the repeated 'that like'. Clarify 'many buildings' with 'famous buildings' if intended. Keep present perfect for lack of opportunity; use present simple 'take' for habitual action. Use 'such as' for examples.

× No for buildings.

✓ No, not really for buildings.

The original is fragmentary and omits auxiliary words. 'No, not really for buildings' is a complete polite negation. Use natural conversational phrasing.

× Yes, actually I'd like to visit, uh, the Eiffel Tower in Paris and I'll have the opportunity to go there because me and my husband are planning a holiday there in a few months.

✓ Yes, actually I'd like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris, and I will have the opportunity because my husband and I are planning a holiday there in a few months.

Replace colloquial 'me and my husband' with correct subject order 'my husband and I'. Use 'I will' or contraction 'I'll' consistently; remove extra 'there'. Maintain tense: present continuous 'are planning' is correct for arranged future.

× So I'm feeling very thrilled about that.

✓ So I'm very excited about that.

'Thrilled' is fine but 'feeling very thrilled' is wordy; 'very excited' is more natural. Use appropriate adjective choice for fluency.

× So yes, additionally, I'd like to visit New York and building there.

✓ So yes, additionally, I'd like to visit New York and buildings there.

'Building' should be plural 'buildings' when speaking generally about structures in New York. Match noun number to intended meaning.

× I think I prefer living at in a house and very traditional about that.

✓ I think I prefer living in a house and I'm very traditional about that.

Use the correct preposition 'in' for living in a house; remove the extra preposition 'at'. Also add the missing verb 'I'm' to form a complete clause.

× Uh, don't get me wrong, I have lived in buildings and it's a good experiences have neighbors near you and and cheap spaces,

✓ Don't get me wrong, I have lived in apartment buildings and it was a good experience: you have neighbors nearby and it's usually cheaper.

Correct noun 'experiences' to singular 'experience'. Clarify 'apartment buildings'. Use 'you have' for general statements and 'cheaper' as comparative adjective. Remove duplicate 'and' and make sentences grammatically complete.

× but I prefer living in a house in a big house. So my husband and I am planning that.

✓ but I prefer living in a big house. So my husband and I are planning that.

Remove redundant phrase 'in a house in a big house' to 'in a big house'. Use correct subject-verb agreement: with compound subject 'my husband and I' the verb is 'are', not 'am'.