建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: まず、文法と語順の誤り（例えば不要な助動詞や主語・動詞の一致）を修正し、簡潔で自然な一文のトピックセンテンスを作ること。次に、具体的な補足情報（どの種類の高層ビルか、例や距離）を1〜2文で追加し、接続詞（例えば“and”や“for example”）でつなぐ練習をしてください。語彙は“financial institutions”は良いですが、“big farms”は文脈に合わないので“commercial buildings”など適切な語に置き換えましょう。

範例: Yes, I live in central Tokyo, so there are many tall buildings nearby. For example, there are financial offices and large commercial complexes within a few minutes' walk from my apartment.

建議: 回答はほぼ内容が伝わりますが、文法（冠詞、単複数、語形）と語順を正し、冗長さを減らしてください。また、接続語（e.g. “because”や“so”）を使って理由と行動を自然につなぎ、具体例（どんな建物やどのアプリで共有するか）を加えると良いです。

範例: Yes, I often photograph buildings because I’m interested in art and architecture. If I see a building with a unique design, I take a picture and usually share it with my family using messaging apps.

建議: 話し始めの表現は自然ですが、否定表現を避けて代わりに肯定的なトピックセンテンスを使い、具体的な建物や理由（設計者や様式）を挙げて説明を膨らませてください。接続詞（e.g. “however”, “for example”）で流れを良くしましょう。

範例: I don't have a specific building in mind right now, but I’m keen to visit any unique modern architecture in Tokyo. For example, I would love to see buildings designed by Kenzo Tange because I admire his use of concrete and light.

建議: 文法ミスや語彙の誤用が多いので、まず正しい語彙（例えば“live”や“swaying”など）と簡潔な表現に直してください。理由を2つまでに絞り、接続詞（“because”, “so”）で明確に結びつけ、感情表現は簡潔に述べると効果的です。例：地震への不安と高所恐怖をそれぞれ一文で説明する。

範例: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building. Because Tokyo has frequent earthquakes, tall buildings can sway a lot, which makes me feel unsafe. Also, I’m uncomfortable with heights, so I prefer low-rise homes.

× Yes, my home is located at the center of Tokyo, So there are many buildings are now the financial institutions or other many big farms in Tokyo.

✓ Yes, my home is located in the center of Tokyo, so there are many buildings that are now financial institutions or other large firms in Tokyo.

The main issues: 1) Preposition: use 'in the center of Tokyo' not 'at the center'. 2) Capitalization and comma splice: 'So' should not be capitalized after a comma; use lowercase 'so' or separate sentences. 3) Redundant verb 'are': use 'buildings that are now financial institutions' or 'buildings now serving as financial institutions'. 4) Word choice: 'farms' is incorrect; context requires 'firms'. Suggestion: use 'in the center of Tokyo, so there are many buildings that are now financial institutions or other large firms.'

× Yes, I'm interested in the art and architecture, so if I see a buildings which shows a unique or intrigue structure, I take a photo and share with my family through both who also are interested in art and architecture.

✓ Yes, I'm interested in art and architecture, so if I see a building that shows a unique or intriguing structure, I take a photo and share it with my family, who are also interested in art and architecture.

Errors and fixes: 1) Article and plural: 'a buildings' is incorrect; use singular 'a building' or plural 'buildings'. 2) Relative clause: use 'that' (or 'which' with a comma) and correct verb agreement 'shows' is fine for singular 'building'. 3) Word form: 'intrigue' is a noun; use adjective 'intriguing'. 4) Object pronoun: add 'it' after 'share' to show what is shared. 5) Awkward phrase 'through both' is incorrect; use ', who are also...' Suggestion: simplify and ensure noun/verb agreement and correct adjective forms.

× Oh, that's a very difficult question for me. Now I cannot visualize the building I would like to visit, but as I mentioned before, I'm interested in the architecture, so if there is a unique building in Tokyo, I would like to visit as soon as possible.

✓ Oh, that's a difficult question for me. I cannot visualize a specific building I would like to visit right now, but as I mentioned, I'm interested in architecture, so if there is a unique building in Tokyo, I would like to visit it as soon as possible.

Issues: 1) Slight redundancy and awkward word order: 'Now I cannot visualize the building I would like to visit' is unclear—use 'a specific building' or 'a particular building' and place 'right now' appropriately. 2) Article use: 'the architecture' is better as 'architecture' (uncountable). 3) Missing object pronoun: add 'it' after 'visit'. Suggestion: make sentences concise, use correct articles for uncountable nouns, and include necessary object pronouns.

× Actually, no. In Japan there are a lot of earthquakes in Tokyo. So if you rib in a tall building, you have to care about the swindling when you live in that building. So and plus I I hate being tall so I do not like to live in such a tall building.

✓ Actually, no. Tokyo has many earthquakes. If you live in a tall building, you have to be careful about swaying when you live there. Also, I hate heights, so I do not want to live in such a tall building.

Multiple issues corrected: 1) Pronoun and subject: 'In Japan there are a lot of earthquakes in Tokyo' is redundant and awkward; specify 'Tokyo has many earthquakes' or 'There are many earthquakes in Tokyo'. 2) 'you rib in' is nonsense—likely meant 'live in'. 3) 'have to care about the swindling' is incorrect: 'be careful about swaying' (movement during earthquakes). 'Swindling' is fraud. 4) Repetition and grammar: 'So and plus I I hate being tall' fixed to 'Also, I hate heights'. 5) Use 'there' instead of repeating 'in that building'. Suggestions: choose correct verbs, pronouns and vocabulary ('swaying' not 'swindling'), avoid repetition, and use natural expressions like 'hate heights'.