建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is understandable and relevant but has hesitations, some grammar errors and slightly repetitive phrasing. Improve by making one clear topic sentence, reducing fillers (uh, um), using correct tense and simpler, accurate structures. Add one specific detail and a linking word. (In English (Mongolia)): “Beheed bichsen sedviin neg todorhoi uguurei, holbogch ug ashiglaad neg joroon detailyg nemer.”

範例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, when I was a child the tallest building had sixteen floors, but recently many new towers of twenty to thirty floors have been built, so the skyline has changed a lot.

建議: Answer directly, avoid redundant phrases (“I'd rather prefer” is incorrect), remove hesitations and clarify your reason with a specific example. Use linking word like "because" and correct verb forms. (In English (Mongolia)): “Erd ni todorhoi hariult ogch, shalgaj todruulj ugsun uchriig jishee ashiglan tailbarla.”

範例: No, I don't usually photograph buildings because I prefer nature photography; for instance, I like to take pictures of sunsets and lightning in the countryside where natural effects are more striking.

建議: Good idea but make sentences grammatical and concise. Start with a topic sentence, give one specific detail about the building and use linking words like "because" or "because it has". Avoid vague phrases like "what is inside"—be specific. (In English (Mongolia)): “Neg todorhoi baiguullagiig nerlej, yagu unshih sonirholiin uchriig todruul.”

範例: Yes, I want to visit a half-round, high-rise building in the capital because it houses a famous hotel and viewing platform, so I would like to see the interior and enjoy the city view from the top.

建議: Your opinion is clear but the sentence has grammar mistakes and is incomplete. Use a clear conditional structure (If I had the option, I would not live...), give two specific reasons and finish the last idea. Use linking words like "because" and "for example." (In English (Mongolia)): “Hicheelleed todorhoi neg butetslej bich, нөхцөл zaah, хоёр тодорхой шалтгаан, жишээ оруул.”

範例: If I had the choice, I would not live in a tall building because power cuts can make life difficult and elevators may stop working; for example, climbing many flights of stairs during an outage would be very inconvenient.

× Yes, there are several, but in the past there was not any.

✓ Yes, there are several, but in the past there were none.

The original uses 'was not any' which mixes singular 'was' with plural idea 'several'. Use plural 'were' with 'none' to match 'several' and to express absence in the past. Suggestion: Use 'there were none' for plural absence in past tense.

× Uh, only the biggest, tallest building was 16th uh floor building.

✓ Uh, the biggest and tallest building used to be a 16-story building.

The original has awkward word order and missing modifiers ('16th floor building' is unnatural). Use '16-story building' and 'used to be' to indicate past state. Suggestion: Keep clear adjective order and use standard expressions for building heights (e.g., '16-story').

× But lately many new buildings, uh, structured and established.

✓ But lately many new buildings have been built.

'Structured and established' is an incorrect verb choice and wrong tense/form. Use passive present perfect 'have been built' to show recent construction. Suggestion: Use 'have been built' or 'have been constructed' for recently completed constructions.

× Now there are many 20 and 30 floor buildings nearby.

✓ Now there are many 20- and 30-floor buildings nearby.

When using compound adjectives with numbers and 'floor', hyphenate and use plural 'floors' concept as '20- and 30-floor buildings'. Suggestion: Hyphenate compound adjectives and repeat or imply the second element correctly.

× Honestly, no, I'd rather to prefer take photo of the nature rather than urban area.

✓ Honestly, no. I'd rather take photos of nature than of urban areas.

'I'd rather' should be followed by the base verb without 'to' and 'prefer' is redundant. Use plural 'photos' and uncountable 'nature' without 'the'. Add 'of' before 'urban areas'. Suggestion: Use 'I'd rather' + base verb and avoid redundant verbs.

× Uh, there are people uh, would like to take the special effect of the umm, lightning in a rural area and especially building photos they.

✓ There are people who like to capture special lighting effects in rural areas, especially in photos of buildings.

Original lacks relative pronoun 'who' and has incorrect word order and an extraneous 'they'. Use 'capture' or 'take' and 'lighting' (not 'lightning') to convey meaning. Suggestion: Use 'people who' for defining relative clauses, and ensure correct vocabulary ('lighting' vs 'lightning'), and avoid dangling pronouns.

× Yes, there is a one in the capital city.

✓ Yes, there is one in the capital city.

Use 'one' without the article 'a' after 'there is'. 'There is a one' is incorrect. Suggestion: Say 'there is one' or 'there is a building'.

× There is a tall and half round shaped building which I didn't visit yet.

✓ There is a tall, semicircular building which I haven't visited yet.

'Half round shaped' is awkward; 'semicircular' is the correct adjective. Use present perfect 'haven't visited yet' for experiences up to now. Suggestion: Use concise adjectives and correct tense for unfinished past actions.

× I would like to go there and see the what is inside and there is a hotel network as.

✓ I would like to go there to see what is inside; it also has a hotel network.

Original has extra 'the' and awkward ending 'as'. Rephrase to 'see what is inside' and link the hotel information clearly. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary articles and use clear clause connectors.

× If I would have option to choose then I would rather not to live in a tall building because there are several disadvantages like when the cut off electricity and it's a it makes it difficult to reach to my.

✓ If I had the option to choose, I would rather not live in a tall building because there are several disadvantages, for example when the electricity is cut off it becomes difficult to reach my apartment.

Conditional form requires 'If I had' (second conditional). 'Would rather' is followed by base verb without 'to'. 'Cut off electricity' needs passive 'electricity is cut off', and sentence ended incomplete; specify 'apartment'. Suggestion: Use correct conditional structure ('If I had... I would...'), omit 'to' after 'rather', and complete the sentence with the object (e.g., 'my apartment').