建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use one or two supporting details with a linking phrase. Also fix minor grammar (e.g. 'I live in Shenzhen, which is a mega-city in China').

範例: Yes. I live in Shenzhen, a mega-city in China, so there are many tall buildings nearby. For example, the skyline around my district is full of office towers and high-rise apartments, which makes the area very busy and modern.

建議: Clarify tense and purpose, and use linking words. Give a specific example and avoid awkward phrases like 'take me back to that time I experience.' Use present perfect or simple past correctly.

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings because it helps me remember places I have visited. For example, I photographed the Forbidden City when I visited Beijing last year, and those pictures remind me of the architecture and the guided tour I took.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence then add specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (use past tense for historical facts and complete the final clause). Mention particular features you’d like to see.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing because it was the home of the imperial family for centuries. In addition, I want to see the spectacular palaces and the collections of jade and historic paintings, since they show traditional Chinese art and history.

建議: Organize into one clear statement with supporting reasons, fix sentence fragments and grammar, and use linking words. Be specific about why lower floors appeal to you (views, convenience, safety).

範例: No, I would prefer not to live in a very tall building because I already live on the 20th floor and find it too high. Moreover, I prefer a lower floor because it is easier to go outside quickly and I can enjoy views of trees and flowers at street level.

× Yes, there are plenty of tall buildings near my home and I live in Shenzhen which is a mega city in China, so there are a lot of tall buildings there and you can see it everywhere.

✓ Yes, there are plenty of tall buildings near my home. I live in Shenzhen, which is a mega-city in China, so there are many tall buildings there and you can see them everywhere.

Original sentence had a pronoun number mismatch: 'you can see it everywhere' uses singular 'it' but refers to plural 'tall buildings' so use 'them'. Also split into two sentences for clarity and add a hyphen in 'mega-city' (optional) and use 'many' for countable plural nouns instead of 'a lot of' for slightly more formal style. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different buildings. It will record where I go and take me back to that time I experience, such as I took photos of the Forbidden City in Beijing.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different buildings. They record where I went and take me back to the times I experienced, for example, when I took photos of the Forbidden City in Beijing.

Problems: 'It will record' uses singular 'it' for plural 'photos' and incorrect future tense; use simple present 'record' or past for completed events. 'Where I go' should align with tense; for past experiences use 'where I went'. 'That time I experience' is incorrect tense and structure; use 'the times I experienced' or 'the time I experienced'. Also rephrase 'such as I took photos' to 'for example, when I took photos' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 10

× Yes, I want to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing. It is where the royal family live and contains lots of spectacular palaces and some artifacts like jade and paintings which.

✓ Yes, I want to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing. It is where the royal family lived and it contains many spectacular palaces and artifacts such as jade and paintings.

'The royal family live' is incorrect for subject-verb agreement and tense: if referring historically use past 'lived'; if speaking about historical residence, past is appropriate. Also 'contains lots of' is informal—use 'contains many'. The relative clause ending with 'which' is incomplete; replace with 'such as' and remove trailing 'which'. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× To be honest, I don't want to live in a tall building because I live in 20 floor. Now. I think it will. It is too high and I want to live in a lower floor. It may see the beautiful trees and flowers.

✓ To be honest, I don't want to live in a tall building because I live on the 20th floor now. I think it is too high, and I would prefer to live on a lower floor so I can see the beautiful trees and flowers.

Multiple issues: use correct preposition and ordinal for floors: 'on the 20th floor' not 'in 20 floor'. 'Now.' and 'I think it will.' are fragments; combine into full sentences. 'I want to live in a lower floor' should be 'on a lower floor'. 'It may see the beautiful trees' is incorrect—use 'so I can see the beautiful trees'. Also change 'want' to 'would prefer' for natural phrasing. This addresses sentence fragments, preposition errors, and incorrect pronoun/reference. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different buildings. It will record where I go and take me back to that time I experience, such as I took photos of the Forbidden City in Beijing.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different buildings. They record where I went and take me back to the times I experienced, for example, when I took photos of the Forbidden City in Beijing.

Pronoun 'It' incorrectly refers to plural 'photos'; use 'They'. Also tense consistency: use past forms 'went' and 'experienced' for completed events. 'Such as I took photos' is awkward; use 'for example, when I took photos'. Grammar problem type ID:12}]}#+#+#+#+#+#+#+#/jspx-->