建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구성과 숫자 표현이 모순되고 자연스럽지 않습니다. 구체적으로는 ‘No they aren't’와 바로 다음 문장의 내용(‘My apartment building currently is 60 stories building’)이 충돌합니다. 문장을 간결하게 시작한 뒤, 연결어를 사용해 부연 설명을 하고, 수치 표현은 올바른 단수/복수·어순을 사용하세요. 예를 들어 ‘There aren’t any tall buildings nearby’처럼 주제문을 먼저 말하고, ‘however’나 ‘in contrast’ 같은 연결어로 비교 설명을 덧붙이세요.

範例: There aren’t many very tall buildings near my home. My apartment is actually quite tall — it has about 60 floors — but most other buildings in the area are much shorter, around six stories.

建議: 중복 표현(‘a interesting’, ‘colorful and unique colorful and unique’)과 문법 오류가 있습니다. 불필요한 반복을 피하고 관사(a/an/the) 사용과 단어 수식을 정확히 하세요. 또한 한두 문장으로 명확히 이유와 예시를 연결해 주세요. 연결어(For example, because, especially)로 논리를 보강하면 좋습니다.

範例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing buildings that look spectacular or have interesting architecture. For example, I especially like taking photos of façades that use colorful and unique tiles because they create striking patterns.

建議: 전달은 잘 되지만 중복(‘fish fish’)과 어색한 표현이 보입니다. ‘I'd like to visit there’ 대신 ‘I'd like to visit it’가 자연스럽고, 두 번째 문장에서 이유를 연결할 때 ‘however’나 ‘strangely’ 대신 ‘oddly enough’ 같은 표현을 사용하면 더 자연스럽습니다. 또한 한두 문장으로 간결히 감정을 설명하세요.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit any building that contains an aquarium. Oddly enough, even though I can't swim and I'm afraid of deep water, watching fish calmly swim always makes me feel peaceful.

建議: 논리와 문장 구조가 혼란스럽고 어색한 표현이 많습니다(‘I have thought people should live near the ground’). 자신의 의견을 분명한 주제로 시작하고, 연결어로 이유와 예시를 덧붙이세요. 과거 경험을 말할 때는 시제와 관사·수식어를 정확히 쓰고, 같은 내용을 반복하지 마세요.

範例: No, I wouldn't. I prefer living closer to the ground because it feels more convenient and safer to me. For example, when I lived in Korea I lived on the third floor of a four-storey apartment, and I found it more practical than living very high up.

× No they aren't.

✓ No, there aren't.

The student likely meant to respond to 'Are there tall buildings near your home?' The correct negative contraction for 'there are' is 'there aren't.' Use a comma after 'No' for natural speech punctuation.

× My apartment building currently is 60 stories building and several buildings nearby are similar in my opinion.

✓ My apartment building is currently 60 stories, and several buildings nearby are similar, in my opinion.

Use a plural or count noun structure: 'a 60-story building' or '60 stories' needs correct noun form. Better: 'a 60-story building.' Also add comma and conjunction. Correct subject-verb order is 'My apartment building is currently...' and add article 'a' if saying 'a 60-story building.'

× Six stories building is relatively low.

✓ A six-story building is relatively low.

Use singular count noun with article 'a' and compound adjective 'six-story' (hyphenated in writing). 'Stories' should be singular 'story' in the compound adjective form.

× I enjoy taking pictures of the buildings that look spectacular or have a interesting architecture.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures of buildings that look spectacular or have interesting architecture.

Do not use the article 'a' before the uncountable noun 'architecture.' Remove 'the' before 'buildings' for general reference and use 'interesting' (adjective) correctly.

× For example, it is exciting for me to take pictures of the building that have a colorful and unique colorful and unique tiles.

✓ For example, it is exciting for me to take pictures of buildings that have colorful and unique tiles.

Use plural 'buildings' to match plural verb 'have.' Remove repeated phrase 'colorful and unique' duplication and do not repeat adjectives. 'Tiles' plural matches 'have.'

× Yes, if a building has an aquarium, I'd like to visit there.

✓ Yes, if a building has an aquarium, I'd like to visit it.

Use 'visit it' or 'visit there' is incorrect; 'visit there' is ungrammatical. Use object pronoun 'it' to refer to the building.

× In fact, I can't swim and I'm afraid of water.

✓ In fact, I can't swim, and I'm afraid of water.

This sentence is grammatically fine but needs a comma before conjunction for clarity. No pronoun error; kept for completeness.

× But strangely, whenever I see the fish fish floating in the water and the sea, I feel peaceful.

✓ But strangely, whenever I see fish floating in the water or in the sea, I feel peaceful.

Remove duplicate 'fish.' Use 'fish' uncountable in this context, and use 'or in the sea' for clarity. No article is needed.

× No, I don't.

✓ No, I don't.

This response is grammatically correct for 'Do you want to live in a tall building?' No change needed.

× Naturally, I have thought people should live near the ground.

✓ Naturally, I have thought that people should live close to the ground.

Add 'that' for clarity and use 'close to the ground' or 'near the ground' is acceptable; 'live near the ground' is slightly awkward. 'Have thought' suggests an ongoing belief; consider 'I think people should live close to the ground' for present-tense opinion.

× For example, in Korea, my apartment was four stories building, but I just lived on the 3rd floor.

✓ For example, in Korea, my apartment was a four-story building, but I lived on the third floor.

Use 'a four-story building' (singular compound adjective) and write ordinal numbers in words in speech 'third floor' is natural. Remove 'just' if unnecessary; if meaning previously, 'I used to live on the third floor' could be clearer.

× Likewise, I want to live near the ground.

✓ Likewise, I want to live close to the ground.

'Live near the ground' is understandable but 'live close to the ground' or 'live on a low floor' is more natural. Adjust phrasing to match idiomatic English.