建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammatical accuracy (plural/singular, articles), shorten and clarify idea with a clear topic sentence and one supporting detail. Use linking words for coherence. Avoid unnecessary phrases and correct pronunciation like 'building' plural and 'a residential area'.

範例: Not many tall buildings are near my home. The tallest is a 17‑storey supermarket, and most other buildings are only about four or five storeys because it is a residential area.

建議: Make sentences more concise and correct noun forms and articles. Avoid repetition ('find' twice) and use linking words to connect ideas. Be specific about what attracts you and give one clear example with correct grammar (e.g., 'a 19th‑century building').

範例: Yes, I love photographing interesting buildings. If I see unique architecture, I immediately take out my phone to capture it; for example, last year I photographed a 19th‑century building in the Old Town.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid fillers ('uh') and unclear phrases ('ex claim it'). Use linking words ('because', 'and') and more precise vocabulary ('climb' instead of 'ex claim', 'history and architecture' instead of 'historical and architectural structure').

範例: I would like to visit Dharara in Kathmandu because it used to be one of the tallest buildings in the area. I want to climb it to enjoy panoramic views of the bustling city and to learn more about its history and architecture.

建議: Give one clear sentence answering the question, then one supporting reason. Remove repetition and fix unclear/misused words ('trail building' unclear). Use linking words ('because', 'so') and correct tense and word order.

範例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because I enjoy high-up views. For instance, I imagine watching sunsets and city lights from a high floor, which feels peaceful and exciting.

× There aren't many tall building near my home.

✓ There aren't many tall buildings near my home.

The noun 'building' needs to be plural 'buildings' to agree with 'many', which requires a plural count noun. Use plural form when referring to more than one item.

× The tallest 1 is a supermarket which is 17 stories high and other than that the buildings are no more than five stories since it is an residential area.

✓ The tallest one is a supermarket which is 17 stories high, and other than that the buildings are no more than five stories since it is a residential area.

Use the word 'one' (not numeric '1') after 'tallest' in this context. Also 'an residential' is incorrect; before a consonant sound use 'a', and the correct adjective is 'residential'. Add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses for clarity.

× Yes, I love taking photos of the building.

✓ Yes, I love taking photos of buildings.

Use plural 'buildings' when speaking generally about photographing buildings. The singular 'the building' implies a specific building, which doesn't match the general context.

× I find that if I find the unique buildings or structures or architectures, I instantly take my mobile phone out and click the pictures.

✓ I find that if I see unique buildings, structures, or architecture, I instantly take my mobile phone out and take pictures.

Avoid repeating 'find' and use 'see' for noticing. 'Architectures' is uncountable in this sense; use 'architecture'. 'Click the pictures' is informal and awkward; use 'take pictures'. Commas improve list clarity.

× Last year I took the photos of a 19th century buildings when I visited the Old Town.

✓ Last year I took photos of a 19th-century building when I visited the Old Town.

Either use plural ('buildings') with 'photos of 19th-century buildings' or singular ('a 19th-century building') consistent with the article 'a'. Also hyphenate '19th-century' when used as a compound adjective.

× I would like to visit Dharara which is in Kathmandu and was one of the tallest building uh in the area in the past.

✓ I would like to visit Dharara, which is in Kathmandu and was one of the tallest buildings in the area in the past.

Add a comma before the relative clause. Use plural 'buildings' to match 'one of the tallest'. Remove filler 'uh'. This fixes agreement and punctuation.

× So I want to ex claim it and experience the panoramic view of the bustling city and also want to learn about the historical and architectural structure of Dharara.

✓ So I want to exclaim about it and experience the panoramic view of the bustling city, and I also want to learn about Dharara's historical and architectural structure.

Use 'exclaim' as a verb (no space) and 'exclaim about it' is more natural than 'ex claim it'. Repeat subject 'I' for clarity or use parallel structure. Using possessive 'Dharara's' is more natural than 'structure of Dharara'. Add comma before 'and' for clarity.

× I would love to live in a tall building and enjoy the view from up high. I always wanted to.

✓ I would love to live in a tall building and enjoy the view from up high. I have always wanted to.

Use present perfect 'have always wanted' to describe a desire extending up to the present. Simple past 'always wanted' suggests a past-only condition.

× I always was excited whenever I saw a trail building and felt like what how would you do, how it would be to be up there and what's below and especially the sunsets and the city lights.

✓ I was always excited whenever I saw a tall building and wondered what it would be like to be up there, what was below, and especially I thought about the sunsets and the city lights.

Correct 'trail' to 'tall'. Reorder words to form coherent clauses: use 'wondered what it would be like' instead of fragmented 'felt like what how would you do'. Make tense consistent (past 'was/wondered') and list items clearly with commas. Use parallel structure for the list.