旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 短く自然に答え、文法と語順の誤りを直すことが必要です。具体的には、冗長な繰り返し（“I do” や “do it, do it”）を避け、冠詞の誤用（“the Switzerland” → “Switzerland”）を修正し、1～2文で主旨を述べた後に1文で具体例を添えると良いです。また、語彙を少し広げて感情や理由を明確に示してください。

範例: Yes, I always look out the window when I travel. I enjoy seeing unfamiliar landscapes because they give me a sense of the country’s culture. For example, when I visited Switzerland last year, the mountain scenery was absolutely breathtaking.

建議: 理由を述べる際の表現に重複と語彙ミスが見られます（“that's because that's because”, “write when you are riding on a car”）。より簡潔で正確な表現にし、安全性の理由を明確に説明してください。例えば、1文で否定し、次の文で理由を述べ、最後に簡単な結論を加えると流れが良くなります。

範例: No, I usually don't take photos from a moving car because it can be dangerous. Focusing on a camera or phone while the vehicle is moving could distract the driver or cause an accident. So I prefer to admire the view without taking pictures.

建議: ほぼ明確な回答ですが、文法（“my mothers”→“my mother”）と語順の小さな誤りを直し、Supporting detailをもう1文で具体化すると良いです（例：いつ、どんな思い出か、活動の頻度など）。接続語を使って論理を明確にしてください。

範例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the peace and fresh air in forests. I often go hiking with my mother, who is an avid climber, and those trips have created many happy memories for me.

× I do like to look at the scenery of the country where I have never been to.

✓ I do like to look at the scenery of countries I have never been to.

The original sentence uses 'the country' which wrongly specifies a singular article; 'countries' is more natural when speaking generally. Also the preposition 'to' after 'been' is unnecessary with 'where' but kept here because the structure 'countries I have never been to' is idiomatic. Suggestion: use plural when referring to non-specific multiple places and avoid redundant 'the'.

× For example, I went to the Switzerland last year, which scenery was outstanding, breathtaking for me.

✓ For example, I went to Switzerland last year; its scenery was outstanding and breathtaking to me.

Use of the definite article 'the' before country names like 'Switzerland' is incorrect in English. Also 'which scenery' is a clause error; use a separate clause with a possessive pronoun 'its'. Combine adjectives with 'and' and use 'to me' for personal impression. Suggestion: omit 'the' before most country names and use 'its scenery' to refer back to the country.

× So I I love to do it, do it.

✓ So I love doing that.

The original repeats words and has awkward structure. Use the gerund 'doing' to express enjoying an activity. Remove repetition. Suggestion: simplify to 'I love doing that'.

× I don't do that because that's because it is so dangerous to do that.

✓ I don't do that because it is too dangerous.

Redundant phrases 'that's because' and repeated 'do that' create awkwardness. Use 'too dangerous' rather than 'so dangerous to do that' for conciseness. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use simple causal structure.

× If you take photos when you write when you are riding on a car, you may get injured or your driver will be in danger.

✓ If you take photos while you are riding in a car, you may get injured or put your driver in danger.

Problems: 'when you write' is incorrect and unnecessary; 'riding on a car' should be 'riding in a car'. Also use 'put your driver in danger' for correct causation. Suggestion: use 'while' for simultaneous actions and 'in a car' for correct preposition.

× I would say I prefer the mountains.

✓ I would say I prefer the mountains.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Keep as is.

× That's because I love the silence and clean air in the forest.

✓ That's because I love the silence and the clean air in the forest.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'clean air' for parallel structure with 'the silence'. This improves naturalness. Suggestion: keep parallel articles for coordinated noun phrases.

× I love to climb up the mountains with my mothers who is a big fan of climbing, so it is a good memory for me.

✓ I love to climb mountains with my mother, who is a big fan of climbing, so it is a good memory for me.

'mothers' should be singular 'mother' if referring to one person; use 'mother' instead of 'mothers'. Also 'climb up the mountains' is better as 'climb mountains' and relative clause needs singular verb 'is'. Suggestion: ensure pronoun/ noun number matches and use simpler verb phrases.