旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. "Nets person") and reduce repetition.

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching the changing landscape because it helps me relax and I often try to remember interesting scenes to share with my family later.

建議: Provide a clear main sentence and one specific detail about how or why you take photos. Fix grammar (verbs and articles) and avoid filler words. Use a linking word to connect reason and example.

範例: Yes, I often take photos and videos from the car window because I want to preserve memories. For example, I use my phone's good camera to capture interesting views and later look at them when I miss travelling.

建議: Give a direct preference sentence, then support with specific reasons and one clear example. Remove hesitations and repeated words. If you haven't seen the sea, state that clearly and explain why mountains appeal to you.

範例: I prefer the mountains because I have never seen the sea and I enjoy the quietness and natural scenery in the mountains. For instance, I like hiking among trees and listening to birds, which helps me relax and feel connected to nature; however, I would like to visit the sea someday.

× I always look out through the windows while traveling. Actually. I'm a Nets person. I enjoy being Nets with netters and the beautiful scenarios.

✓ I always look out through the windows while traveling. Actually, I'm a nature person. I enjoy being in nature with nature lovers and the beautiful scenery.

The original uses 'Nets' and 'netters' which are incorrect word choices, and 'scenarios' is wrong for 'scenery'. This is primarily a word choice/lexical error rather than a pure grammar form, but it affects the present participle phrase 'being Nets'. Corrected to 'being in nature' and 'nature lovers' to make the participle phrase and noun phrases grammatical and meaningful. Suggestion: use 'nature' as the noun and 'being in nature' when describing enjoying natural environments; use 'scenery' for views.

× So I always look out to windows to see that, to create some memories and to show my parents in the future.

✓ So I always look out of the windows to see it, to create some memories and to show them to my parents in the future.

Preposition 'out to' is incorrect for looking through windows; the correct phrase is 'look out of the windows' or 'look out the windows'. Also 'see that' is vague; 'see it' refers to the scenery. 'Show my parents' needs an object: 'show them to my parents'. Suggestion: use 'look out of' or 'look out the' and include clear pronouns for objects.

× So I always look out to windows to see that, to create some memories and to show my parents in the future.

✓ So I always look out of the windows to see it, to create some memories and to show them to my parents in the future.

The original has no third-person singular verb error here, but the sentence was also corrected for pronouns and prepositions. Ensure subject-verb agreement: with 'I' the verb 'look' is correct. Suggestion: check verb forms match subject.

× Yeah, I listen, take photos or sometimes videos also, I like to save that moment for regulating the memories in the in the future.

✓ Yeah, I listen, take photos or sometimes videos as well; I like to save those moments to preserve memories for the future.

Phrase 'regulating the memories' is incorrect; 'preserve' or 'save' fits. 'That moment' should be plural 'those moments' if referring generally. Also 'in the in the future' has duplication. Suggestion: use 'preserve memories' and 'for the future'.

× Uh, actually, I have a realist, uh, nice, uh, nice phone, having a real good camera.

✓ Uh, actually, I have a really nice phone with a really good camera.

'Realist' is incorrect; 'really' is the adverb form modifying 'nice'. 'Having' creates a clause fragment; better to use 'with'. Suggestion: use 'really nice' and 'with a really good camera'.

× So I always takes photos videos, uh, while travelling is they help me to memorize the past.

✓ So I always take photos and videos while traveling because they help me remember the past.

The verb 'takes' is incorrect with subject 'I'; it should be 'take' (third person singular error). 'Is' is misplaced and unnecessary. 'Memorize the past' is awkward; 'remember the past' is natural. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with subject and remove extraneous words.

× Actually, I have never seen a sea, so I prefer mountain and the living in nature of the mountain, the beach distance, the animals.

✓ Actually, I have never seen the sea, so I prefer mountains and living in the mountains among nature, beaches at a distance, and animals.

Multiple issues: article use ('a sea' -> 'the sea') and pluralization ('mountain' -> 'mountains'). The phrase 'the living in nature of the mountain' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'living in the mountains among nature'. Suggestion: use 'the sea' when referring to sea generally if the speaker means that specific environment, pluralize 'mountains' when speaking generally, and reorder phrases for clarity.

× Sometimes there is no that, uh, on the mountains helps me to, uh, helps me to, uh, relax my mind and be more connected with the nature.

✓ Sometimes there is none of that on the mountains; they help me relax my mind and feel more connected with nature.

'There is no that' is ungrammatical; use 'there is none of that' or 'that isn't there'. 'On the mountains helps me' has subject mismatch and word order issues; use 'they help me'. 'Be more connected with the nature' should be 'feel more connected with nature' (no definite article). Suggestion: use clear subjects and verbs and avoid unnecessary filler words.

× But if I get the chance to see the sea, I will definitely see, see the sea.

✓ But if I get the chance to see the sea, I will definitely visit it.

Repetition 'see, see the sea' is redundant. 'See the sea' is grammatical but 'visit it' is more natural here. The conditional structure 'if I get the chance... I will' is correct. Suggestion: remove repetitions and prefer concise verbs like 'visit' or 'go to'.