旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce repetition and correct basic grammar (e.g., "people" not "peoples", "when I travel"). Use linking words like "for example" or "for instance" to connect details.

範例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I enjoy watching how traffic flows and how people go about their daily routines, because it gives me a sense of life in different neighborhoods.

建議: Improve clarity and tense consistency: state clearly when and why you take photos, avoid fragmented sentences, and use correct verb forms (e.g., "I often travel in the morning or at sunset"). Limit to two supporting details and add a linking word like "so" or "therefore."

範例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because the light in the morning and at sunset makes scenes look especially beautiful. I usually edit and share a few of these pictures on Instagram with music to capture the mood.

建議: Give a direct preference statement, then one clear reason with a specific detail. Avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example," and correct grammar (e.g., "comfortable clothes", "be warmer").

範例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy warm weather and the relaxed beach atmosphere. For example, I like wearing light clothes, sunbathing, and walking along the shore while listening to the waves.

× I love to look at the main look out the window by travelling or even in a car because I love to do it.

✓ I love to look out the window when travelling, even by car, because I enjoy it.

The original sentence has redundant phrases ('look at the main look out') and incorrect word order. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Simplify and reorder: 'look out the window' is the correct phrase; place adverbial phrase 'when travelling' after 'look out the window' and remove repeated words to make the sentence clear and grammatical.

× It's like I really want to watch like the outside the world, what's the other world is doing.

✓ I really want to watch the outside world and see what it is doing.

This was ungrammatical and redundant with extra filler 'like' and incorrect clause order. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Remove filler 'like', use 'the outside world' without extra 'the', and form a correct subordinate clause 'what it is doing'.

× When I'm traveling I love to see how cars are moving, how peoples are having trouble, how people, how people are doing their stuff and all things.

✓ When I'm travelling I love to see how cars are moving, how people are having trouble, and how people are doing their things.

The plural noun 'people' was incorrectly written as 'peoples' and the repetition and 'all things' are awkward. This is a subject-verb agreement and word choice issue (ID 27). Use 'people' (already plural) and 'their things' to mean belongings or activities; remove redundant repeats for clarity.

× Yeah, I take photos of the scenery outside the car window because sometimes the view is so beautiful and sometime I used to travel like the morning time and it's the sunset time.

✓ Yes, I take photos of the scenery outside the car window because sometimes the view is so beautiful; sometimes I travel in the morning and sometimes at sunset.

The original mixes present simple 'take' with incorrect 'sometime I used to travel' and awkward time phrases. This is a tense and sentence structure issue (ID 6 and 26). Use consistent present simple for habits ('I take photos') and 'sometimes I travel in the morning' or 'at sunset' rather than 'used to travel' which implies past habit. Also correct 'sometime' to 'sometimes' where appropriate.

× I used to create a wonderful photo and post it on my Snapchat or Instagram with the song.

✓ I usually take a great photo and post it on Snapchat or Instagram with a song.

'Used to' implies a past habit; the student means a current habit. This is a sentence structure and tense error (ID 26 and 6). Replace 'used to create' with 'usually take' and remove 'my' before platform names for natural phrasing; 'with a song' clarifies accompaniment.

× It's so look beautiful.

✓ It looks so beautiful.

The word order was incorrect: 'so look beautiful' should be 'looks so beautiful'. This is an adjective/adverb placement error (ID 13 and 20). Use the linking verb 'looks' followed by the adjective 'beautiful', optionally with 'so' preceding the adjective.

× The sometime the photos are so.

✓ Sometimes the photos are just amazing.

The original is incomplete and ungrammatical. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Replace with a complete clause using 'Sometimes' and a clear adjective such as 'amazing' to finish the thought.

× I think I prefer the sea because I love the summer while in the summer we can be a comfortable clothes but like in the winter times we have to wear like more clothes to be to be more warm and for the summer time.

✓ I think I prefer the sea because I love summer; in summer we can wear comfortable clothes, but in winter we have to wear more clothes to keep warm.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing, repetition, and incorrect article and verb forms. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Simplify by using 'love summer', 'wear comfortable clothes' and 'wear more clothes to keep warm'; remove filler 'like' and duplicate words.

× The sea is back best enjoying the beach vibe, having sunglasses on and it's.

✓ The sea is best for enjoying the beach vibe, wearing sunglasses, and relaxing.

This fragment is ungrammatical and incomplete. It's a sentence structure error (ID 26). Use 'best for enjoying' to introduce activities, replace 'having sunglasses on' with 'wearing sunglasses', and finish the list with a clear final activity like 'relaxing' to complete the sentence.