旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid awkward phrases like “depends on the place if I go” and reduce redundancy (e.g., “stare at the window” → “look out the window”).

範例: If I’m going somewhere new, I usually look out the window to enjoy the scenery and sometimes take photos to remember it. However, for familiar trips I prefer to relax and listen to music.

建議: Remove hesitations and repetition, and combine ideas into one clear sentence with a linking word. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “capture” or “preserve memories”) and avoid repeating “also.”

範例: Yes, I often take photos of the landscape when I visit new places because I want to capture the view and preserve the memory of the trip.

建議: Correct grammar and vocabulary, and be specific. Give one clear preference or explain briefly how mood affects choice. Avoid unclear phrases (“in at them,” “enjoy colorful”) and ensure sentences are complete and natural.

範例: It depends on my mood: in summer I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and relaxing on warm sand, but in cooler months I prefer the mountains for hiking and seeing colorful scenery.

× It depends on the place if I go.

✓ It depends on the place I am going to.

The original sentence has an awkward structure. 'If I go' is unnecessary and creates a conditional that doesn't fit. Rewriting as 'the place I am going to' produces a clear noun phrase modifying 'depends on.' Use this structure when indicating that preference varies by destination.

× If I travel to a new location, I would like to stare at the window to admire the beauty of nature and take a picture to remember the moments.

✓ If I travel to a new location, I like to stare out of the window to admire the beauty of nature and take pictures to remember the moment.

The original used 'would like' which makes the statement conditional; a simple habitual preference suits the context so 'like' is better. Also use 'stare out of the window' (preposition fix) and pluralize 'pictures' for general activities; 'moment' is better singular or use 'memories.' These changes match the present habitual context.

× I would like to stare at the window to admire the beauty of nature and take a picture to remember the moments.

✓ I like to stare out of the window to admire the beauty of nature and take pictures to remember the moments.

Use 'stare out of the window' or 'look out the window' rather than 'stare at the window' when referring to viewing scenery through the window. Also 'take pictures' is more natural for repeated actions. This fixes preposition and noun-number usage.

× Uh, It's not only to capture the uh, scenery, it also a way to remember the moments I enjoyed also.

✓ It's not only to capture the scenery; it's also a way to remember the moments I enjoyed.

The original has a missing verb in the second clause and redundant 'also.' Add 'it's' before 'also a way' to supply the verb and remove the extra 'also' for clarity. Use a semicolon or a period to separate the clauses. This corrects sentence structure and pronoun/reference problems.

× Yes, when I travel to a new location, as I mentioned earlier, I prefer to take pictures of the landscape.

✓ Yes, when I travel to a new location, as I mentioned earlier, I prefer to take pictures of the landscape.

This sentence is correct; no grammatical change needed. Included here to indicate no error in pronoun or structure.

× Especially in the summertime, I prefer to go swimming in the seas, relaxing on the warm sands and feeling the cooling sea breeze.

✓ Especially in the summertime, I prefer to go swimming in the sea, relax on the warm sand, and feel the cooling sea breeze.

Use 'the sea' and 'the sand' as general natural features; plural 'seas' and 'sands' sound unusual in this context. Also maintain parallel verb forms: 'go swimming, relax, and feel' rather than mixing gerunds and '-ing' participles. This fixes article use and parallelism.

× But in at them, I like to go to the mountains and hike on the trails to enjoy colorful.

✓ But at other times, I like to go to the mountains and hike on the trails to enjoy the colorful scenery.

The phrase 'in at them' is incorrect; the intended phrase is 'at other times.' Also 'enjoy colorful' is incomplete; add a noun like 'scenery' and include the definite article 'the' for natural reference. This fixes sentence structure, incorrect phrase, and missing noun.