旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words and correct verb forms (e.g., “looking out the window gives me…”). Avoid vague phrases like “improves your horizon” — replace with clearer expressions such as “broadens my perspective” or “helps me notice local life.”

範例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, watching street scenes and local markets gives me a better sense of the place, and it often broadens my perspective on how people live in different areas.

建議: Be direct and grammatical. Begin with a clear topic sentence answering yes/no, then give one or two specific conditions when you take photos. Remove filler words (um, like) and incorrect phrasing. Use linking words such as “so” or “especially when” to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I often take photos from the car, especially when we are near interesting places. For instance, I always photograph the coastline or mountain views because the light and scenery are beautiful and it helps me remember the trip.

建議: Give a clear preference statement, then support it with specific, relevant reasons. Correct awkward phrases (e.g., “sea razor” unclear) and grammar (e.g., “I live near the sea, so I usually choose the sea”). Use linking words like “because” and avoid repeating ideas.

範例: I prefer the sea because I live nearby and enjoy its relaxed atmosphere. For example, I like warm, sunny weather and walking on the beach, which I find more comfortable than the cold, rugged conditions in the mountains.

× Yes I do, the main reason is looking to window it mostly give me a new experience as what's happening in the outside and it improves your horizon too.

✓ Yes, I do. The main reason is that looking out of the window mostly gives me new experiences of what is happening outside and it also broadens my horizons.

Errors: 'looking to window' should be 'looking out of the window' (preposition + article). 'it mostly give' has subject-verb agreement issue; 'gives' required. 'a new experience' -> 'new experiences' suits general statement. 'as what's happening in the outside' should be 'of what is happening outside' (preposition and word order). 'improves your horizon' -> 'broadens my horizons' uses correct collocation and pronoun consistency. Suggestion: use correct prepositions (out of/out), include 'that' for noun clauses, ensure subject-verb agreement, and keep pronouns consistent.

× You've umm view is pretty good. I take photo of outside when I'm in the vehicle.

✓ Your view is pretty good. I take photos of the scenery outside when I'm in a vehicle.

Errors: 'You've umm view' is incorrect; intended 'Your view' (possessive adjective). 'I take photo' should be plural 'photos' for general habit (quantifier), and 'of outside' is missing noun 'the scenery' and needs preposition 'outside'. 'the vehicle' -> 'a vehicle' is more natural for general statements. Suggestion: use correct possessive forms (your), use plural for habitual actions, and include the correct noun and article.

× Like when I'm in the car. If we are going in the near to the sea or mountains. Why no?

✓ For example, when I'm in the car, if we are going near the sea or mountains, why not?

Errors: 'Like when I'm in the car.' is a sentence fragment; it should be combined or expanded. 'going in the near to the sea' is wrong preposition and word order; correct is 'going near the sea'. 'Why no?' should be 'Why not?'. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments, use correct prepositions ('near' without 'in' or 'to'), and use standard question forms.

× I'm living near to the sea, that's why mostly I will choose the sea razor, the mountains and I like the atmosphere when I'm located near to the sea.

✓ I live near the sea, so I usually choose the sea over the mountains, and I like the atmosphere when I'm by the sea.

Errors: 'I'm living' is acceptable in some contexts but 'I live' is preferred for a permanent situation (present simple). 'near to the sea' should be 'near the sea' (preposition). 'mostly I will choose the sea razor' contains nonsense 'razor' and wrong tense; use 'I usually choose the sea' (habit). 'when I'm located near to the sea' is wordy; 'when I'm by the sea' is natural. Suggestion: use present simple for permanent states, correct prepositions, and avoid incorrect or extraneous words.

× And I don't like cold, I like hot and warm weathers.

✓ I don't like cold weather; I prefer hot and warm weather.

Errors: 'cold' used as noun is acceptable but better as 'cold weather'. 'hot and warm weathers' uses plural 'weathers' which is incorrect; 'weather' is uncountable. Use 'prefer' rather than 'I like' for contrast. Suggestion: use uncountable noun 'weather', keep number consistent, and choose appropriate verbs for preferences.