旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cümle yapısında ve kelime seçiminde netlik ve doğruluk eksik. Konuya doğrudan başlayan kısa bir topic sentence ve sonra bir veya iki destekleyici cümle kullanmalısınız. Gereksiz tekrarları (ör. “generally” iki kez) ve dolgu kelimelerini (ör. “uh”) azaltın. Ayrıca tutarlı ve doğru kelimeler kullanın (ör. “car” yerine “carriage/ride/drive” ve “ballroom” yerine muhtemelen “balloon” değilse “route/road”). Bağlaçlar kullanarak sebep veya detay verin (because, so, while).

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car because the journey takes a long time and the scenery is interesting. For example, I like watching the changing landscape while I listen to music, which helps me relax.

建議: Cevap anlaşılır ama dilbilgisi ve kelime düzeninde düzeltilmesi gereken noktalar var. Koşul cümlesini düzgün kurun (“If the view is…” yerine “If the view is a sunrise or sunset, I like to take photos”). Detaylandırmak için bir neden ve kısa örnek verin. Tek bir fikirle sınırlı kalmayın; nasıl çektiğinizi veya ne hissettiğinizi ekleyin. Gereksiz kısa cümlelerden kaçının ve bağlaç kullanın.

範例: If the view is a sunrise or sunset, I usually take photos because the colours are very beautiful and unique. For instance, I once photographed a golden sunrise over the hills and shared it with my friends, which they really liked.

建議: Fikri açıkça ifade etmelisiniz: önce tercih sayısı (topic sentence), sonra nedenleri belirtin. Çocukluk ve şimdiki tercihi karşılaştırırken doğru kelimeleri kullanın (“sea” ve “snow” doğru yazılmalı) ve “because of this” gibi belirsiz ifadeler yerine açık nedenler verin. Son cümledeki genelleme iyi fakat daha doğal bir bağlaçla desteklenmeli (e.g., “However, what matters to me is how impressive the view is”).

範例: I used to prefer the sea when I was a child, but now I prefer the mountains because I enjoy snow and peaceful hiking. However, what really matters to me is how impressive the scenery looks, whether it's the sea or the mountains.

× Yes, I generally look out the window at the car because we generally go to car, uh, in two ballroom and the ballroom way is really long and some uh, viruses. I generally listen to music and look out at the window.

✓ Yes, I generally look out of the window when we travel by car because we usually go to the city center, and the route is really long and sometimes crowded. I generally listen to music and look out of the window.

The original sentence misuses prepositions such as 'at the car' and 'go to car'. Use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' for viewing from a vehicle. Use 'travel by car' or 'go by car' to indicate mode of transport. 'Go to car' is incorrect; provide the intended destination like 'city center'. 'In two ballroom' is unclear and likely wrong preposition and noun; replaced with 'the route' and corrected 'some uh, viruses' to 'sometimes crowded' as a plausible intended meaning. Suggestion: focus on standard prepositions for transport and viewing: 'look out of the window', 'travel by car', 'go to the city center', 'the route is long', 'sometimes crowded'.

× If it's the view is sunrise or sunset, I really want to take a picture like this views because I think it's really impressive.

✓ If the view is a sunrise or a sunset, I really want to take a picture of such views because I think they are really impressive.

Incorrect or missing articles: use 'the view' or 'a sunrise/a sunset' appropriately. Also 'like this views' is ungrammatical; use 'such views' or 'these views'. Pronoun agreement: 'they are' for plural 'views'. Suggestion: use 'If the view is a sunrise or a sunset' and 'take a picture of such views' and match verb number with pronoun 'they are'.

× The nature is really good to me.

✓ I really enjoy nature.

Awkward adjective/noun use: 'The nature is really good to me' is unnatural in English. Replace with a natural expression like 'I really enjoy nature' or 'Nature is very beautiful to me'. Suggestion: use verbs like 'enjoy' or adjectives like 'beautiful' with 'nature'.

× When I was a child I used to prefer see, but now I really like the snow because of this.

✓ When I was a child I used to prefer the sea, but now I really like the snow because of that.

Incorrect verb form and noun: 'prefer see' should be 'prefer the sea' (noun with article). 'Used to' correctly indicates past habit; keep past reference. 'Because of this' unclear; 'because of that' or give specific reason. Suggestion: use 'prefer the sea' and 'used to' for past habits and ensure demonstrative pronoun matches context.'

× I prefer mountains now. But actually it doesn't matter. The matter is views impressive level.

✓ I prefer the mountains now. But actually it doesn't matter. What matters is how impressive the views are.

Awkward phrasing and incorrect word order: 'views impressive level' is incorrect; rephrase to 'how impressive the views are' or 'the level of how impressive the views are'. Also 'I prefer mountains' usually takes the definite article: 'the mountains' when speaking generally about that environment. Suggestion: use natural noun phrases and clear relative clauses: 'What matters is how impressive the views are'.