旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce fillers (uh, umm) and avoid repetitive phrases. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "sit by the window", "fresh air", "scenery").

範例: Yes, I usually sit by the window when I travel by bus. I enjoy the fresh air and the changing scenery because it helps me relax and sparks new ideas, so I often watch the landscape as we travel.

建議: Clarify and shorten your response. Provide a direct answer then one specific supporting detail. Remove poetic or vague expressions such as "carve in my heart" in favor of concrete actions. Use linking words like "however" to contrast ideas.

範例: Sometimes I take photos from the window if I see something interesting. However, because the view changes quickly, I often just enjoy the scene and remember it instead of photographing it.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and one example. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use descriptive but relevant vocabulary (e.g., "tranquil", "hiking", "misty peaks").

範例: I prefer the mountains to the sea because they feel more peaceful and offer great hiking opportunities. For example, I enjoy walking among misty peaks and watching cloud formations, which I find very relaxing.

× I always choose window side uh, especially open window where while travelling by bus because I like air, fresh air, umm and scenery that make me so energetic and free enough to think many things.

✓ I always choose the window seat, especially the one by the open window when travelling by bus, because I like the fresh air and the scenery that make me feel energetic and free enough to think about many things.

Errors: missing articles ('the' before 'window side/seat' and 'open window'), awkward word order, and omitted preposition 'about' after 'think'. Use 'the window seat' to specify a particular seat and 'the fresh air' to refer to the air being discussed. Add 'feel' after 'make me' for correct verb structure and the preposition 'about' after 'think' to specify what is being thought about. Suggestions: always include necessary definite articles for specific nouns, use natural noun phrases ('window seat'), and include appropriate verbs and prepositions in common structures like 'make me feel' and 'think about'.

× If I happen to see something exciting, I always take my smartphone and click a pic of that.

✓ If I happen to see something exciting, I always take out my smartphone and take a picture of it.

'Click a pic' is informal and 'click' is less appropriate in this context; 'take out my smartphone' clarifies the action. 'Of that' is awkward; use 'of it' to refer to the thing seen. Suggestions: use 'take a picture' in formal speech and include 'out' after 'take' when removing the phone from a bag or pocket for clarity.

× Uh, but uh, most of the time as we pass through, we uh, don't get chance to take pictures, but I keep that in my mind and carve in my heart always to remember.

✓ But most of the time as we pass through, we don't get a chance to take pictures, so I keep those scenes in my mind and hold them in my heart to remember them.

Missing article 'a' before 'chance' (article error) and awkward pronoun/reference; 'that' and 'always to remember' are unclear. Use plural 'those scenes' to match 'pictures' and 'remember them' to refer back clearly. 'Carve in my heart' is idiomatic but better phrased as 'hold them in my heart'. Suggestions: include articles where required, match number between nouns and pronouns, and use clearer collocations for emotional expressions.

× I always prefer mountains as I'm surrounded uh, with mountains, a place of landscape.

✓ I always prefer the mountains because I'm surrounded by them in a scenic landscape.

Use 'prefer the mountains' (article with plural specific preference) and the correct preposition 'surrounded by', not 'surrounded with'. 'A place of landscape' is ungrammatical; 'in a scenic landscape' or 'in a landscape' is correct. Suggestions: use 'surrounded by' for encirclement and include 'the' when speaking of mountains in general as a specific category you prefer.

× I choose umm, mountains over sea because it is filled with beautiful sceneries and clouds and also I always love mountains.

✓ I choose mountains over the sea because they are filled with beautiful scenery and clouds, and I have always loved mountains.

Use 'the sea' with the definite article, and match plural subject 'mountains' with plural verb 'they are'. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, not 'sceneries'. 'I always love' is better as 'I have always loved' to show ongoing preference. Suggestions: correct article use with natural landscapes, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use uncountable forms like 'scenery'.