旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid fillers (uh, like). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., “it gives me” → “it helps me”) and keep the answer to no more than four sentences.

範例: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car. I find watching the countryside relaxing because the views of trees and fields help me feel calm. For example, seeing green fields on the way to my hometown always helps me unwind after a busy week.

建議: Start with a direct answer, remove hesitation markers, and give one specific detail about how or why you take photos. Use linking words like “also” or “for example.” Keep sentences short and grammatically correct (e.g., “while driving” → “from the car window”).

範例: Yes, I do. I often take photos and short videos from the car window because I want to capture beautiful moments on the road. For example, I usually send these clips to my friends on Snapchat so we can share interesting scenery together.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words like “because” and “for example.” Fix grammar (e.g., “when we reach the top of a mountain, we can see the area below” and avoid repetition like “uh”). Keep it within three sentences.

範例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and the sense of achievement at the summit. For example, when we reach the top of a mountain, we can see the landscape below and the wide, breathtaking views that make the climb worthwhile.

× Oh, I honestly, I love to uh, like go see around the nature while traveling from the window because it's give me, it's help to keep me calm as well as give me peace.

✓ Oh, honestly, I love looking at nature through the window while traveling because it gives me calm and peace.

Multiple errors: verb form and gerund use ('love to uh, like go see around the nature' -> use 'love looking at nature'), incorrect preposition ('from the window' -> 'through the window'), subject-verb agreement ('it's give me' -> 'it gives me'), unnecessary pronoun repetition and filler words removed. Suggestion: use simple structures, choose correct verb forms (gerund after 'love' for ongoing action), use appropriate prepositions, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Well, I like to take pictures while driving from the window, uh, as well as on Snapchat, I make a lot of videos and send to my friends.

✓ I like taking pictures through the window, and I also record a lot of videos on Snapchat and send them to my friends.

Use gerund after 'like' for habitual actions ('like taking' instead of 'like to take' is acceptable but 'taking' matches 'through the window'), incorrect preposition ('driving from the window' -> 'through the window'), pronoun omission ('send to my friends' -> 'send them to my friends'), and run-on sentence fixed with conjunctions. Suggestion: use gerunds for activities, correct prepositions, and include object pronouns where needed.

× Honestly, I prefer mountains, uh, because I love hiking and uh, when we reached out the mountain, we can see uh, lower around the places from top of the mountain and uh, it uh, makes a breath breathtaking view.

✓ Honestly, I prefer the mountains because I love hiking, and when we reach the top of a mountain, we can see the surrounding areas below, and it makes a breathtaking view.

Tense and phrasing errors: use present simple for general statements ('when we reach' not 'reached out'), incorrect verb and preposition ('reached out the mountain' -> 'reach the top of a mountain'), word order and choice errors ('lower around the places' -> 'the surrounding areas below'), redundant wording ('makes a breath breathtaking view' -> 'is breathtaking' or 'makes a breathtaking view'). Suggestion: use present tense for general truths, correct collocations ('reach the top'), and concise adjectives ('breathtaking').