旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question (yes/no and brief reason), then add one supporting detail. Avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g. ‘honeymoon view’ is likely wrong). Use linking words to connect ideas and correct tense/grammar.

範例: Yes. Although I usually travel by subway rather than by car or bus, I always look out of the window because the scenery is beautiful and attracts my attention. For example, I enjoy watching tree-lined streets and parks as we pass by.

建議: Make the reason clearer and correct grammar. Give a concise main sentence then one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Fix verb forms and remove repetition.

範例: Yes. I often take photos from the car window because they help me remember special moments. For instance, I photographed a snowy field last winter and looking at the picture brings back the mood of that day.

建議: Answer directly (mountains or sea) and give a clear, concise reason. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. ‘I prefer the mountains’ and ‘fear of water’ not ‘hydrophobia’ unless you explain). Keep to one or two supporting sentences and avoid long, unclear phrasing.

範例: I prefer the mountains because I am afraid of deep water due to a childhood incident when I nearly drowned. Therefore I feel much more relaxed and safe when visiting mountainous areas.

× Yes, I do actually.

✓ Yes, I do.

The original sentence is grammatically okay but contains unnecessary adverb 'actually' that is redundant in this context. Remove it for clarity and naturalness.

× I usually take a subway, not bus or car, but I always see the window to see the greatest honeymoon view because it really it is really beautiful and always it stood out to me.

✓ I usually take the subway, not the bus or a car, but I always look out the window to see the beautiful scenery because it is really beautiful and it always stands out to me.

Several article and structure issues: 'a subway' requires 'the subway' when speaking generally about a system; 'not bus or car' needs articles ('the bus or a car'); 'see the window to see' is incorrect — use 'look out the window'; 'greatest honeymoon view' is unnatural here — use 'beautiful scenery'; redundant 'it really it is really' and incorrect tense 'stood' should be present 'stands' to match habitual action. Suggestions: use correct articles ('the' or 'a') and simple, consistent present tense for habitual actions.

× When I ride a car and see the beautiful scenery, I usually try to take a photo because I'm taking a photo can memorize at the moment when I saw when I saw the picture again.

✓ When I ride in a car and see beautiful scenery, I usually try to take a photo because the photo can help me remember the moment when I look at it again.

Multiple grammar problems: use 'ride in a car' (preposition), drop the article before 'beautiful scenery', and correct the clause 'I'm taking a photo can memorize' which is ungrammatical. 'Can help me remember' uses correct modal verb and structure. Change 'saw' to 'look at it again' to match present habitual perspective. Suggestions: use correct prepositions ('in a car'), avoid redundant progressive forms when simple present is appropriate, and use 'help me remember' rather than 'memorize at the moment'.

× I propose to see because when I was a child I had bad memory for the sea because at the time I almost sink under the water so I'm still have hydrophobia so going to the mountain is more comfortable for me.

✓ I prefer to see the mountains because when I was a child I had a bad experience at the sea: I almost sank underwater, so I still have hydrophobia. Therefore, going to the mountains is more comfortable for me.

Many issues: 'I propose to see' is incorrect verb choice — use 'I prefer' (preference). 'Bad memory for the sea' should be 'a bad experience at the sea'. 'Almost sink' should be past 'almost sank'; 'under the water' -> 'underwater'; 'I'm still have' is ungrammatical — use 'I still have'; 'going to the mountain' requires plural 'mountains' and article consistency. Suggestions: use correct verbs for preferences, correct past tense for past incidents, and choose proper noun forms ('mountains') to sound natural.