旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct repetition and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating phrases, and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Correct prepositions (‘out of the window’ not ‘out out’) and verb forms. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel because I enjoy the scenery. I usually choose a window seat to see the landscape more clearly, and the views, especially mountains and valleys, feel very calming to me.

建議: Be direct and use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Say clearly that you take photos and give specific reasons with linking words. Avoid incorrect words like ‘photogenic person’ when you mean ‘like taking photos’, and fix grammar (e.g., ‘it makes me nostalgic’). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery because I enjoy capturing memories. After the trip, looking at the pictures makes me feel nostalgic and helps me remember the places I visited.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar and word choice (e.g., ‘I am Nepali’, ‘we grow up in the mountains’, ‘I prefer the mountains’, ‘one of the main reasons’). Avoid vague or irrelevant claims.

範例: I prefer the mountains because I am Nepali and grew up surrounded by them. Also, mountain scenery feels peaceful and familiar to me, and many people visit Nepal for its famous mountain landscapes.

× 'I do look out out of the window when I travel and I love when looking out of the window.'

✓ 'I do look out of the window when I travel and I love looking out of the window.'

'Double "out" is repetition; remove duplicate. Also "love when looking out" is ungrammatical because "love" should be followed directly by a gerund or an infinitive; here gerund is preferred. Suggestion: use "love looking out of the window".'

× 'The view is when I go to travel.'

✓ 'The view is beautiful when I travel.'

'The original sentence is unclear and has incorrect structure. "The view is when I go to travel" mixes time phrase and subject without a linking adjective. To make sense, add an adjective (e.g., "beautiful") and place the time clause correctly: "The view is beautiful when I travel." Provide specific suggestion: decide what you mean about the view and use a proper adjective or clause.'

× 'I always sit in the window because I love the view, the mesmerizing view, and it satisfies me, to be honest.'

✓ 'I always sit by the window because I love the mesmerizing view, and it satisfies me, to be honest.'

'"Sit in the window" is unnatural in English; use "sit by the window" or "sit at the window." The phrase "the view, the mesmerizing view" is repetitive; combine into "the mesmerizing view." Minor punctuation: keep clauses clear. Suggestion: use natural preposition "by" and avoid repetition.'

× 'So I do look up out of the window.'

✓ 'So I do look out of the window.'

'"Look up out of the window" mixes two particle constructions and is awkward. The correct phrasal verb is "look out (of) the window." Remove "up." Suggestion: use "look out of the window" or simply "look out the window."'

× 'Yeah, I am a photogenic person and everything connects with me me with the photo.'

✓ 'Yeah, I am a photogenic person and everything connects with me in photos.'

'The sentence repeats "me" and uses an incorrect prepositional phrase "connects with me with the photo." Better phrasing: "connects with me in photos" or "I connect with photos." Suggestion: remove duplicate word and use correct preposition "in" for experiences within photos.'

× 'When I see the photo after the traveling, it keeps me nostalgia and so that is the one of the main reason I do take a lot of photo while traveling.'

✓ 'When I see the photos after traveling, they make me feel nostalgic, and that is one of the main reasons I take a lot of photos while traveling.'

'Several problems: use plural "photos" to match "a lot of photos," correct noun form "nostalgia" -> adjective phrase "feel nostalgic," verb tense/agreement "it keeps me nostalgia" -> "they make me feel nostalgic." Also article/number: "the one of the main reason" -> "one of the main reasons." Suggestion: use plural agreement and proper noun/adjective forms.'

× 'Of course, I do prefer mountain because I am in Nepali and we grow up in a mountain and the Mountain View is so mesmerizing.'

✓ 'Of course, I prefer the mountains because I am Nepali and we grew up in the mountains, and the mountain views are so mesmerizing.'

'Several tense and agreement errors: "do prefer mountain" should be "prefer the mountains" (plural and article), "I am in Nepali" is wrong—use adjective "I am Nepali," "we grow up in a mountain" should be past tense "we grew up in the mountains" or present "we grow up in the mountains" depending on meaning; use plural "mountains." "Mountain View" should be lowercase and plural "mountain views" to match. Suggestion: use correct nationality adjective, plural nouns for typical landscapes, and consistent tense.'

× 'I haven't visited sea but I love mountains when I was a kid.'

✓ 'I haven't visited the sea, but I loved mountains when I was a kid.'

'Use article "the sea" when speaking generally about the sea. Mixing present perfect "haven't visited" with past "I was a kid" and present "I love mountains" is inconsistent. If referring to childhood preference, use past tense "loved." Suggestion: keep tenses consistent: present perfect for experience, past for feelings in childhood.'

× 'And it's also one of the main reason that Nepal is very famous in all over the world.'

✓ 'And it is also one of the main reasons Nepal is famous all over the world.'

'"One of the main reason" is incorrect; use plural "reasons." "Famous in all over the world" is redundant; use "famous all over the world." Remove extra words. Suggestion: ensure noun-number agreement and avoid redundant prepositions.'

× 'So yeah, I do mount it.'

✓ 'So yeah, I do.' or 'So yeah, I prefer the mountains.'

'"I do mount it" is ungrammatical and unclear. The speaker likely means to affirm preference. Use a simple affirmative "I do" or repeat the idea clearly: "I prefer the mountains." Suggestion: avoid literal translation of verbs from another language; use natural English expressions.'