旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce repetition and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and article use (e.g., 'I try to' not 'I tried'). Avoid redundant phrases like 'try my best' twice.

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy seeing landscapes and mountain views. However, I sometimes feel a bit dizzy during the journey, so I try to focus on the horizon to reduce motion sickness.

建議: Be concise and avoid repeating ideas from the previous answer. Give a brief reason and a specific detail about when or what you photograph. Use linking words to connect the reason and the effect of motion sickness.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of interesting scenery from the car window, especially during sunrise or when passing mountains. However, because I sometimes feel dizzy, I usually take photos only when the road is smooth or when I can sit near the front.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then support it with specific, coherent reasons. Avoid vague expressions like 'kind of like' and improve grammar (use 'the sea is' and 'compared to'). Use one linking word to structure your reasons.

範例: I prefer the mountains because they feel calmer and more familiar to me. For example, I enjoy hiking on marked trails and seeing clear viewpoints, whereas the sea seems more unpredictable and vast, which makes me less comfortable.

× Yes, I I tried my best to look out to the windows because I really love to appreciate a beautiful landscape, the mountain views of something like that.

✓ Yes, I try my best to look out of the window because I really enjoy appreciating a beautiful landscape, such as mountain views.

Subject-verb agreement and tense: The student used 'I tried' (past) but context is habitual, so present simple 'I try' is correct. Also duplicate 'I I' is a typo. Preposition use: 'look out to the windows' is incorrect; use 'look out of the window' (singular or plural depending on vehicle position). Article/word choice: 'appreciate a beautiful landscape' is fine but 'enjoy appreciating' is more natural. 'the mountain views of something like that' is awkward; rephrase to 'such as mountain views.' Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual actions, remove duplicate words, use 'look out of' and a clearer phrase for examples.

× But I often feel dizzy when I was taking a bus or a car.

✓ But I often feel dizzy when I take a bus or a car.

Tense consistency: The sentence uses past tense 'was taking' while the rest of the sentence is general/habitual. For habitual experiences use present simple 'I take.' Also 'taking a bus or a car' is uncommon; use 'take a bus or a car' or better 'when I travel by bus or car.' Suggestion: Keep tense consistent (present simple) for habitual statements and use natural collocations like 'travel by.'

× So yeah, I'll try my best to look out to the window.

✓ So yeah, I'll try my best to look out of the window.

Preposition and verb phrase: 'look out to the window' is incorrect. The correct collocation is 'look out of the window.' The rest of the sentence 'I'll try my best' is future intention and acceptable. Suggestion: Use 'look out of the window' for viewing through a window.

× Yes, I do take the photos of the scenery outside the car window, but yes again, I often feel dizzy throughout the journey so I just try my best.

✓ Yes, I do take photos of the scenery outside the car window, but I often feel dizzy during the journey, so I just try my best.

Article and word choice: 'do take the photos' implies specific photos; general statement needs no article: 'take photos.' 'Throughout the journey' is not wrong but 'during the journey' is more natural. Also redundant 'yes again' can be removed and comma usage improved. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary articles for general statements and simplify redundant words.

× I prefer the mountains cause in my opinion sea are more kind of like uncertain and unknown and it's not explored by the human nature that compared to mountains so I prefer mountains.

✓ I prefer the mountains because, in my opinion, the sea is more uncertain and unknown and is less explored by humans compared to mountains, so I prefer the mountains.

Conjunction and sentence structure: 'cause' is informal; use 'because.' Subject-verb agreement: 'sea are' is incorrect; 'the sea is' (singular). Article use: add 'the' before 'sea' and 'mountains' where appropriate. Word order and redundancy: 'more kind of like uncertain and unknown' is awkward; use 'more uncertain and unknown.' 'It's not explored by the human nature' is ungrammatical; use 'is less explored by humans.' The sentence was long and repetitive; break into clearer clauses. Suggestion: Use 'because,' ensure singular subjects agree with verbs, use 'the sea' and concise descriptors, and avoid redundant phrases.