旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix grammar (use 'in transport' or 'on public transport', 'commute', 'I feel relaxed', 'slow pace'). Avoid redundancy like 'especially... sometimes'.

範例: Yes. I often look out of the window when I commute by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, watching trees and people on the street slows my mind down, and I sometimes use that time to plan my day or just unwind.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence, then explain one specific reason and an example. Correct grammar (use 'scenery' singular, 'it is difficult to capture', 'when the car is moving fast'). Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas.

範例: Yes, I do, as an amateur photographer, but I only take a few shots because it is difficult to get a clear picture when the car is moving. For instance, I once tried to photograph a colorful street market, but most images were blurred, so I focused on timing and steadiness on later trips.

建議: Answer directly then give two specific supporting details using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Improve phrase choice and grammar ('Mountain View' -> 'the mountains', 'I like watching'). Keep it concise and natural.

範例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy camping and the fresh, clean air there. For example, I love watching sunset silhouettes over the ridges and hiking early in the morning when the landscape is quiet and cool.

× Yes, I often look out the window when I am in the transportation, especially when I need to commute sometimes.

✓ Yes, I often look out the window when I am using transportation, especially when I need to commute.

'the transportation' is incorrect because 'transportation' is an uncountable noun and generally does not take the definite article here. Also 'in the transportation' is unnatural; 'using transportation' or 'on public transport' is preferred. Removed redundant 'sometimes'. Suggestion: say 'using transportation', 'on the bus', or 'when I commute'.

× And the moment when I see the window I can feel rewind and relaxed because of the slow paced and also the sceneries passing by.

✓ When I look out the window I feel relaxed and as if time is rewinding because of the slow pace and the passing scenery.

This sentence has multiple structure and word choice issues. 'Can feel rewind' is ungrammatical; use 'feel as if time is rewinding' or 'feel nostalgic'. 'Slow paced' should be 'slow pace' and 'sceneries' is incorrect plural; use 'scenery' or 'passing scenery'. Also avoid beginning a sentence with 'And' in formal responses. Suggestion: simplify to 'I feel relaxed and as if time is rewinding because of the slow pace and the passing scenery.'

× Yes, as an amateur photographer, sometimes I feel the sceneries from the window is different from I just took a photo on the seat streets and but it's difficult to capture the moment because the car is driving too fast.

✓ Yes, as an amateur photographer, sometimes I feel the scenery outside the window is different from the photos I take when sitting in traffic, but it's difficult to capture the moment because the car is moving too fast.

Multiple problems: 'sceneries' should be 'scenery' (uncountable), 'is' should agree with 'scenery' but the original clause is ungrammatical. 'Different from I just took a photo on the seat streets' is incorrect structure; use 'different from the photos I take when sitting in traffic' or 'sitting in the car'. Also 'driving too fast' is better as 'moving too fast' if referring to the car's motion in relation to photography. Suggestion: restructure the clause: 'scenery outside the window is different from the photos I take when sitting in traffic'.

× Personally, I prefer Mountain View because I'm a big fan of camping and I also like the fresh air in the mountains and watch the silhouettes of sunsets and mountain shapes.

✓ Personally, I prefer mountain views because I'm a big fan of camping; I also like the fresh air in the mountains and watching the silhouettes of sunsets and mountain shapes.

'Mountain View' as a proper noun is unclear; in general preference use plural 'mountain views' or 'the mountains'. 'Watch' should be 'watching' to match the parallel gerund 'camping' and maintain parallel structure. Suggestion: use parallel verb forms and correct noun number: 'prefer mountain views' or 'prefer the mountains', and use 'watching the silhouettes...'.