旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Chú ý thì hiện tại và quá khứ để diễn đạt chính xác (ví dụ: "when I go to school" thay vì "when I was to school"). Giảm lặp từ (xóa một trong hai "I") và dùng từ chính xác hơn (ví dụ: "colourful" thay vì "colorless" nếu bạn muốn nói cảnh hoàng hôn đẹp). Cấu trúc câu nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm chi tiết hỗ trợ với liên từ (because, and, so). Giữ tối đa 4-5 câu, cụ thể hoá mô tả (màu sắc, cảm xúc) để tăng điểm từ vựng và nội dung.

範例: Yes, I often look out of the bus window when I go to school. I especially enjoy watching the sunset because its warm orange and pink hues feel very relaxing. I also like seeing people returning home after work, as it gives me a small glimpse into their daily lives.

建議: Tránh lặp từ và sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "take photos" thay vì "take the photo"). Dùng trình tự hợp lý: lý do trước, kết quả sau, sử dụng liên từ phù hợp (because, so, then). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (loại cảnh, mục đích lưu trữ) để làm câu thêm thuyết phục. Giữ cấu trúc ngắn gọn, tối đa 4 câu.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of the view from the car window because I want to preserve beautiful memories, especially sunsets. Later, I sometimes edit the best shots and upload them to social media so my friends can see them.

建議: Câu trả lời ngắn gọn và rõ ràng; để cao điểm hơn, thêm một câu chủ đề trực tiếp rồi phát triển bằng lý do cụ thể và ví dụ cá nhân. Dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, because, which). Thêm so sánh ngắn với núi có thể giúp phong phú nội dung. Giữ không quá 4-5 câu.

範例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy fresh seafood and the relaxed atmosphere. For example, I love watching the sunset from the hotel on the beach, which makes my trips especially memorable. I find this more soothing than mountain hikes, which can be tiring.

× Yes, I often look out the window when I was to school by bus.

✓ Yes, I often looked out the window when I went to school by bus.

The original uses present tense 'look' and then 'was' which is incorrect. The sequence describes past habitual action, so use past simple for both verbs: 'looked' and 'went'. Use 'go to school' -> past 'went'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past habits (e.g., 'I often looked out the window when I went to school by bus').

× I like watching the sunset because it's colorless, relaxing, and I I also enjoy seeing people coming home after work.

✓ I like watching the sunset because it's colorful and relaxing, and I also enjoy seeing people coming home after work.

'Colorless' means without color which contradicts 'sunset'; correct adjective is 'colorful'. Also remove duplicated 'I'. Suggestion: Choose adjectives that accurately describe the noun and proofread for repeated words.

× It's like if you like a small window into every life, everyday life.

✓ It feels like a small window into everyone's everyday life.

Original sentence has awkward structure and repeated 'like'. Use 'It feels like' and rephrase to 'a small window into everyone's everyday life' for clarity and correct possessive form. Suggestion: Simplify sentence structure and use possessive pronouns to show ownership.

× Yes, I often take the photo of the scenery outside the car window because I want to save the beautiful memories and the sunset and and then I I can upload on the social media.

✓ Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I want to save beautiful memories and the sunset, and then I can upload them on social media.

Use plural 'photos' as general practice, remove extra 'the' before 'beautiful memories' and 'social media', remove duplicated 'and' and 'I', and add object pronoun 'them' for 'photos'. Suggestion: Check pluralization for countable nouns, avoid unnecessary articles, and include pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned nouns.

× I especially love watching the sunset from my hotel on the beach, which makes the trip very memorable.

✓ I especially love watching the sunset from my hotel on the beach, which makes the trip very memorable.

This sentence is grammatically correct; '-ing' form 'watching' is properly used to describe an activity. No change needed. Suggestion: Keep the gerund when describing ongoing or habitual activities.