旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I always look out the window.”), then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid grammatical errors (subject agreement, verb forms) and filler words. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., “relaxing” instead of “mad relief”) and limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I always look out the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching the passing scenery because it helps me remember routes and landmarks. Also, I find it very relaxing and it helps me unwind during the journey.

建議: Maintain a clear structure: brief direct answer, then a specific reason and an example. Correct tense and phrasing; avoid awkward phrases like “my brain can keep photos.” Say “I prefer to remember them” or “I prefer to enjoy the moment.” Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

範例: I used to take photos when I was younger, but I rarely do that now because I prefer to enjoy the view and remember it myself. For example, on recent trips I put my phone away and focus on the landscape instead.

建議: Answer directly and give clear, specific reasons. Avoid irrelevant or unclear phrases (e.g., “courts are the generation or the sons of the mountains”). Use correct grammar (prepositions: “in love with the mountains”; articles: “the mountains”) and provide one concrete detail or example explaining why you prefer mountains. Limit to 2–4 sentences.

範例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy cool weather and peaceful surroundings. For instance, hiking on mountain trails helps me relax and I like the fresh air and quiet views more than crowded beaches.

× They do have that habit when I'm traveling because I'm in love to see around and also to memorize the places or the roads, umm, traveling through and enjoying the views because that is the only thing.

✓ I do have that habit when I'm traveling because I love to look around and also to remember the places or the roads I travel through while enjoying the views, because that is the main thing for me.

Incorrect use of prepositions and awkward verb choices: 'in love to see around' is not correct English; use 'love to look around.' 'Memorize the places or the roads, traveling through' is awkward; use 'remember the places or the roads I travel through.' Also 'They do have that habit' is wrong subject; student refers to themselves so use 'I do have that habit.' Suggestions: use correct subject pronoun, use 'love to' + base verb, and place clauses in logical order for clarity.

× It gives me mad relief.

✓ It gives me great relief.

Word choice and register: 'mad relief' is informal and nonstandard; 'great relief' is a natural collocation in English. Use appropriate adjective + noun collocations for clearer meaning.

× Well, I used to do that before, I mean earlier when I was younger.

✓ Well, I used to do that when I was younger.

Redundancy and tense: 'used to' already indicates a past habit, so 'before' and 'earlier' are redundant. Keep the concise past expression 'I used to do that when I was younger.' Suggestion: remove extra time adverbs when 'used to' is present.

× But for now I don't have that habit because I do believe that my brain or mind can keep photos and memories nicer than to have them in just a machine.

✓ But for now I don't have that habit because I believe my brain can keep memories better than a machine can.

Tense and comparative structure: 'do believe' is unnecessarily emphatic; 'believe' is enough. 'Can keep photos and memories nicer than to have them in just a machine' is ungrammatical: use comparative structure 'keep memories better than a machine can.' Also 'just a machine' is informal; use 'a machine.' Remove redundant 'or mind' if not needed. Suggestion: simplify verb forms and use standard comparative forms.

× I'm in love in the mountains because I'm cold and they say courts are the generation or the sons of the mountains.

✓ I'm in love with the mountains because I'm a cold person, and people say courts are the children of the mountains.

Incorrect preposition and unclear noun usage: use 'in love with' not 'in love in.' 'I'm cold' is fine but 'I'm a cold person' clarifies. The clause 'they say courts are the generation or the sons of the mountains' is unclear and likely mistranslated; 'children of the mountains' is a better attempt but meaning may still be unclear. Suggestion: use 'in love with' and rephrase unclear metaphors for clarity.

× In mountains I can feel more comfortable and relaxed as I am in.

✓ In the mountains I feel more comfortable and relaxed than I do elsewhere.

Missing article and incorrect comparative structure: use 'in the mountains' (definite article) and the comparison 'more ... than' requires a clear comparison phrase; 'relaxed as I am in' is incomplete. Suggestion: include 'the' before 'mountains' and complete the comparison, e.g., 'than I do elsewhere.'