旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện tính tự nhiên, ngữ pháp và độ mạch lạc. Tránh lặp từ và sửa cấu trúc sai: dùng cụm từ tự nhiên như “I love sitting by the window” thay cho “do that thing”; thay “while I'm chilling the bus or car” bằng “while I'm on a bus or in a car”; dùng tính từ đúng (“I feel relaxed” thay vì “I feel that” hoặc “I'm so unwind”). Hãy giữ câu ngắn gọn (tối đa 5 câu) và thêm một chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: cảnh bạn thích nhìn).

範例: Yes, I always sit by the window when I travel. I find watching the scenery relaxing, especially when passing small villages or rivers. For example, I enjoy seeing farmers working in the fields because it makes me feel peaceful. I prefer the window seat on long trips because it helps me unwind.

建議: Tăng tính mạch lạc và ngữ pháp: tránh cách nói thân mật quá mức như “'cause you know” trong thi; sửa thì phù hợp (ví dụ “moments pass quickly”); dùng linking words như “because” hoặc “so” để nối ý. Bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể về khi nào hoặc những gì bạn chụp (ví dụ: bình minh, kiến trúc cổ).

範例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because the view changes so quickly. I usually photograph landscapes like mountains at sunrise or old buildings in small towns. Taking pictures helps me remember those unique moments and share them with friends later.

建議: Cải thiện rõ ràng ý và từ vựng phù hợp: tránh các từ không rõ nghĩa như “beginnings” và lặp từ; nói trực tiếp lý do bạn thích biển (ví dụ: không khí, hoạt động) và đưa ví dụ cụ thể. Sử dụng cấu trúc gọn gàng: chủ đề + lý do + ví dụ. Giữ số câu nằm trong giới hạn và tránh tiếng ngập ngừng.

範例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy its relaxed atmosphere and beach activities. For instance, I like dressing up in light summer clothes and walking along the shore at sunset. The sea also offers water sports and fresh air, which I find more enjoyable than hiking in the mountains.

× I love sitting in the window seat to do that thing, to look at the window while I'm chilling the bus or car.

✓ I love sitting in the window seat to do that, to look out of the window while I'm riding the bus or car.

The verb 'chill' is informal and incorrect here; the correct verb is 'ride' for traveling by bus or car. Also use the gerund 'sitting' correctly and the phrasal verb 'look out of the window'. Suggest replacing 'chilling' with 'riding' and 'look at the window' with 'look out of the window' for natural English.

× I feel that. I'm so unwind and I'm just so obsessed with this.

✓ I feel that way. I'm so relaxed and I'm just obsessed with it.

The adjective 'unwind' is a verb; the correct adjective is 'relaxed'. 'I feel that' is vague; 'I feel that way' is clearer. Also 'obsessed with this' should be 'obsessed with it' to refer back to the action. Suggest using correct adjective forms and clear pronoun reference.

× I do, I think taking photos of the scenery outside the car window is a must. Still part of my journey 'cause you know that moments quickly pass.

✓ I do. I think taking photos of the scenery outside the car window is a must. It's still part of my journey because moments quickly pass.

The sentence 'Still part of my journey' lacks a verb; add 'It's' (it is). Also use 'because' rather than colloquial 'cause' in formal speech. Ensure full verb phrase present. Suggest inserting 'It's' and using 'because' for clarity.

× So I just wanted to capture the memory of my trip.

✓ So I just want to capture the memory of my trip.

The tense should match the general present habitual idea (when I travel I take photos), so present simple 'want' is more appropriate than past 'wanted'. Use present tense to indicate current intention or habit.

× I prefer the sea because I love the seaside outfits.

✓ I prefer the sea because I love seaside outfits.

Use plural 'seaside outfits' without the definite article 'the' when speaking generally. Remove unnecessary 'the' for general statements about preferences.

× I love wearing beginnings and umm, dress some dresses and relax at atmosphere and make it fun to dress up more than I would do in the mountains.

✓ I love wearing beachwear and dressing in dresses, relaxing in the atmosphere, and having fun dressing up more than I would in the mountains.

The phrase 'wearing beginnings' is incorrect — likely meant 'beachwear'. 'Dress some dresses' is ungrammatical; use 'dressing in dresses'. 'Relax at atmosphere' should be 'relaxing in the atmosphere' and 'make it fun to dress up' can be 'having fun dressing up'. Also remove redundant 'would do'. Suggest correcting vocabulary ('beachwear') and using gerunds for parallel structure.