旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details with linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., saying you love nature several times) and correct common errors (use 'when I travel', 'I am a person whose hobby is travelling' → 'I enjoy travelling'). Keep answers to under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel because I enjoy nature. For example, I like watching trees and hills glide by, especially during sunset, because the colours are very calming.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, then add a specific reason and one detail about how or when you take photos. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and avoid repeating 'nature'. Correct prepositions: 'take photos from the car window' → 'take photos through the car window'.

範例: Yes, I often take photos through the car window because I want to capture scenes I find beautiful. For instance, I usually photograph rolling hills and sunsets, especially when the light makes the colours vivid.

建議: Answer directly (state your preference), then give two specific reasons linked logically. Avoid awkward phrases like 'at my back' and redundant repetition of 'I love nature'. Use clearer language: 'it helps me unwind' and mention a concrete activity (e.g., hiking). Keep to under five sentences.

範例: I prefer the mountains because they help me relax and recharge. For example, hiking in the fresh air and trying adventure sports lets me unwind from a busy schedule and feel more energetic afterwards.

× 'Yes, I often look outside from bus or car where whether in any of I'm traveling because I love nature.'

✓ 'Yes, I often look out of the bus or car I'm traveling in because I love nature.'

'from' and 'where whether in any of I'm traveling' are incorrect and awkward. Use the preposition 'out of' or the phrasal verb 'look out' plus 'in' to indicate being inside a vehicle. Also include articles 'the' before 'bus or car'. Simplified word order makes the sentence clear.' Suggestion: Use: I often look out of the bus or car I’m traveling in.'

× 'I'm person whose hobby is travelling.'

✓ 'I'm a person whose hobby is travelling.'

'I'm person' omits the indefinite article 'a' required before singular countable nouns. Adding 'a' fixes the noun phrase. Also note British spelling 'travelling' is acceptable; American is 'traveling'.'

× 'For example, I love watching trees and hills pass by, especially sunset.'

✓ 'For example, I love watching trees and hills pass by, especially at sunset.'

The phrase 'especially sunset' lacks the preposition 'at' required with times of day. Adding 'at' creates a natural prepositional phrase indicating when the speaker enjoys the view.'

× 'Yes, I often take photos from my car window because I love nature and I find nature very attractive.'

✓ 'Yes, I often take photos from my car window because I love nature and find it very attractive.'

Repeating 'I' and 'nature' is redundant. Replacing the second 'I find nature' with 'find it' avoids repetition. 'From my car window' is acceptable.'

× 'For example, I love to take full pictures of rolling hills and sunset.'

✓ 'For example, I love to take wide shots of rolling hills and the sunset.'

'Full pictures' is unnatural collocation in English; 'wide shots' or 'full shots' are better. Also 'sunset' usually takes the definite article 'the' when referring to a particular sunset. This correction improves naturalness and specificity.'

× 'I usually prefer mountains overseas because I love nature.'

✓ 'I usually prefer mountains when I travel overseas because I love nature.'

'Prefer mountains overseas' is ambiguous. Adding 'when I travel' clarifies that the preference applies during overseas travel. This fixes sentence flow and meaning.'

× 'It helps me to unwind myself and disconnect from the outer world, from all the hectic schedules I'm carrying at my back.'

✓ 'It helps me unwind and disconnect from the outside world and from all the hectic schedules I'm carrying on my back.'

'Unwind myself' is wordy; 'unwind' is sufficient. 'Outer world' is better as 'outside world.' The idiom is 'carrying on my back' or better 'carrying on my shoulders,' not 'at my back.' Adjusting word order and prepositions makes the sentence natural.'

× 'And I love adventure sports and fresh air, which helps me to recharge myself.'

✓ 'I also love adventure sports and fresh air, which help me recharge.'

'And' at the start is informal; 'I also' is preferable. 'Which helps' should agree with the compound subject 'adventure sports and fresh air' and so take plural verb 'help.' 'Recharge myself' is wordy; 'recharge' suffices. Removing unnecessary words improves clarity.'